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Needing attention too much

U

unag18

New member
Joined
Jul 22, 2018
Messages
1
Hello, everyone! I'm an 18 years old (almost 19) male and I simply don't know what to do about my exagerate attention need. It's making my life much more difficult than it should be. I'm so eager for attention I actually created profiles in tons of social media apps, including dating ones. The problem is that my appearance is pretty average, there's nothing remarkable about it, so I usually don't attract that much of the attention I look for. I've already done some stupid things because of that, including giving up on university because I thought I wasn't fit for university life, since I felt everyone there was more beautiful than me. I feel like my teenager years (that should be the best years of my life) are being wasted because I can't do the fun things that teenagers do, since people seem to not be interested in having me with them. You could think that it's because of my personality that people do that, but I actually can hide this dark side of my personality pretty well, no one IRL even suspects that I'm such an attention seeker. Despite being on dating apps, I don't actually want a relationship, I only want a little bit of attention. I'd say that what I really want is popularity, the only thing that keeps me motivated to continue are my dreams and fantasies about being a very famous and admired person that has the entire world in his hands. However, everything that I try to do to expand my social circle fails, what makes me feel completely worthless and reduces my willing to keep going to almost zero. How can I satisfy this need for attention?

PS¹: I know my personality is trashy, but I don't think it's possible to improve there without satisfying this need that I have, I feel that it would be like hiding the dirt under the carpet instead of cleaning it. Please, don't judge me.

PS².: I didn't know where to post exactly, but I thought it could be classified as Narcissist Personality Disorder, so I posted here.
 
Drooo

Drooo

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 8, 2016
Messages
876
Location
UK
Well it kind of goes without saying that you are chasing a phantom and it will never be true for you. Not that you won't, or couldn't, ever be famous, you may well get that, but you likely wouldn't be satisfied with fame, or the fame that you got, and would still want more and more and more. It is a situation which ensures you will never win, because your own expectations will always be out of reach at every step. Which means you will always be dissatisfied, maybe even unhappy.

Now, this you may not be able to help. You may well have the personality disorder you mentioned, which means you'd probably require counselling of some sort to help you to try and get inside of these expectations that you have and untangle them so that you can find meaning beyond simply being known or admired.

Have you considered taking this problem to a doctor at all?
 
C

Candy19

Guest
you might have some sort of personality disorder, but I honestly don't think it's narcissistic, most narcissists wouldn't bother to reflect on or get better if they were given the chance because in their minds they don't think there's anything wrong with them

to add on, pretty much everyone has a few narcissistic traits, I mean who doesn't want attention and to be praised, but that doesn't at all mean we have the actual disorder. It's like saying you have bipolar just solely based on having mood swings when that isn't the case
 
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I

IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
I'm the opposite. I'd rather not have the attention focused on me. I'm too afraid of embarrassing myself infront of people that's why. I always do. :redface:
 
C

Candy19

Guest
I'm the opposite. I'd rather not have the attention focused on me. I'm too afraid of embarrassing myself infront of people that's why. I always do. :redface:
in public settings I hate attention too, but when it comes to friendships, family and relationships I need it so I don't feel completely worthless and uncared for, unfortunately those are all I feel nowadays
 
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