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NeedHelp Family leads me to depression

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LadyBetts

Active member
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
28
Location
New Mexico
Hello, I need help

I've mentioned in a previous post about my family being a trigger for my depression to get worse and cause me to shut down. I am extremely worried about going home for christmas I don't want to feel awful. They don't know about my depression and I'd rather keep it from them, when I was younger I told them I was depressed they responded with "suck it up! kids don't get depressed!". I don't know what to do or how to tell them I don't want to go. I love them because they are my parents and my family but I just can't take it anymore I would rather not be here anymore than be subjected to there emotional abuse!
They treat me like a dumb porcelain doll that can do no wrong and smile for there stupid christmas pictures so they can show how perfect and beautiful I am! while my dad is telling me I'm fat even though I push my body to the brink and that Im a dumb and I can't do anything without screwing up. My mom tells me "thank god your beautiful" and hates my boyfriend because he is Native American and not some rich white guy! I'm not the gold digger she wan't me to be and I'm no longer christian because of her crazy radical beliefs! Truth is my boyfriend treats me right he has held my hand through my depression roller coaster he encourages me to eat right and lets me cry when I feel hopeless and lifts me up at the right time! I love him he is completely real he is my hero and he is a fire fighter, who in there right mind doesn't love someone brave enough to run head first into a fire god my family is ****** up! They are all hypocrites and they wan't me to join! Truth is Im loving and caring, Im spiritual, Im a proud Italian Hispanic who loves food, and I love my beautiful Native boyfriend because he is the most connected and loving and caring person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.
How do I not break over christmas how to I get away from them I live three hours away and they still control me! I don't understand! Is it me?

Im sorry to rant and I don't want to offend anyone, I love everyone I have the up most respect for anyone I meet. But my whole family just nags and brings each other down Im going to explode I don't need that, I really need your advice.

Thank you All for reading,
Thank you,

-Sad reck Betts:cry:
 
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LadyBetts

Active member
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
28
Location
New Mexico
Thanks MarlieeBee,
I feel lost and oppressed, and guilty for disliking my family. I feel sick.
 
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LadyBetts

Active member
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
28
Location
New Mexico
I apologize for all the posts I just can't stop thinking am I being selfish? ugh I feel so guilty!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
34,865
Location
Mordor
I apologize for all the posts I just can't stop thinking am I being selfish? ugh I feel so guilty!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel guilty most of the time. Personally I think it is just due to the manipulative nature of the human race. Somebody is always looking to twist your feelings in their favor.

You have only made 10 posts, and your first post is too much to read but I reckon you should chill out.
 
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LadyBetts

Active member
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
28
Location
New Mexico
Thanks Brat,

What do I do about going home for christmas? It's really brining me down.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Jul 8, 2013
Messages
34,865
Location
Mordor
Thanks Brat,

What do I do about going home for christmas? It's really brining me down.
Its up to you really. If it is so stressful, just stay where you are. I agree with you BTW native americans are beautiful. Not in a corny way, but totally sincere.
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Oct 21, 2014
Messages
2,095
Location
UK
Hi LadyBetts

Seems like you are doing well in sorting your life out, with a good boyfriend who is very supportive. I can understand how difficult it is to see your family when they have such a negative effect on you and don't even acknowledge your depression. Yet you love them.

Is your boyfriend supposed to go with you for Christmas, or just you? Would it be possible to go just for a short time, share the Christmas meal with your family, and go home the same day? Sometimes we can cope if we know what we are dreading is for a limited time. You could say you have invitations for the next day you really want to go to.

If all else fails and you really can't face it you could say you have a stomach bug and are too unwell to travel.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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Messages
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Do you feel obliged to visit?
You're not a bad person. I dont get on with my mother and i barely visit her and I'm happy like this. In fact I haven't even got her number as I broke my old phone, i received a text on my birthday in October from someone i assumed wàs her, i asked and got ño responce.
What I'm trying to say I guess is will it hurt to do your own thing this Xmas?
 
prairiechick

prairiechick

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What about doing something just with your boyfriend for Christmas? If your family is so toxic to be around then maybe the best thing is to not be with them right now. That might be the only way they eventually get the message that they are hurting you.
 
L

LadyBetts

Active member
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
28
Location
New Mexico
Thank you guys!!!!

I wasn't getting any notifications I didn't think anyone posted anything, Im soooo sorry!
I decided to go home I just wrote a new post, Im really stressed about it and I know my boyfriend is going to yell at me because he thinks they are toxic which is true.......but I feel way guilty.....plus they said if I don't go then they will be here tomorrow and I don't want them in my apartment.
 
prairiechick

prairiechick

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Oh no! That's awful of them to threaten you like that. It just blows my mind what people will do to try to maintain the image of a perfect family Christmas. I hope you will get through it okay, and that your boyfriend will understand your decision.
 

MarlieeB

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That is no way for a family to treat you. It shows their true colors.

You go only if you want to and if you don't and then they show up then if they won't go away call the police.

:hug5:

xxx
 
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