Need urgent help

[User76564]

We live in the UK, My partner has bipolar and has decided to stop the medication last weekend she has since become obsessed with social media and music, she is now drinking most of the day and has no hangover what so ever. The biggest thing is last night she decided to tell me that she doesn't love me, the wedding will be cancelled and has been looking at flats. I am so lost, I don't know what I should be doing. I have informed the care coordinator and understand they are meeting in the coming week. What do I do. Thank you

 

[Bipolarbear808]

We live in the UK, My partner has bipolar and has decided to stop the medication last weekend she has since become obsessed with social media and music, she is now drinking most of the day and has no hangover what so ever. The biggest thing is last night she decided to tell me that she doesn't love me, the wedding will be cancelled and has been looking at flats. I am so lost, I don't know what I should be doing. I have informed the care coordinator and understand they are meeting in the coming week. What do I do. Thank you

It sounds like your partner might be having a Manic Episode. I say that because she is able to drink a lot without getting a hang over. Unfortunately, I am not a medical professional and can't offer any medical advice outside of saying that I think she really needs to be under professional medical care right now (in a hospital).

There is another member on this board that has been going through a similar experience to what you are describing. The thread is called "My wife seems changed....permanently...". Basically, if she is indeed having a Manic Episode she can be saying and doing things she really doesn't mean due to Mania, and you won't really know what is what until the Mania subsides. I really hope that you are able to get her professional help and that things work out for the best. Hope this helps!

 

[User76564]

Thank you, this is so hard, she is due to see her care coordinator next week but it wouldn't surprise me if signs a lease before then. I am starting to feel that she will need hospitalization but at what point would that happen?

 

[Bipolarbear808]

Thank you, this is so hard, she is due to see her care coordinator next week but it wouldn't surprise me if signs a lease before then. I am starting to feel that she will need hospitalization but at what point would that happen?

If she is indeed Manic right now, I would take her to the emergency room as soon a possible. Before she does something like signs a lease on an apartment, or buys a new car, or blows her life savings. I would recommend trying to speak with your primary care doctor or Telehealth nurse to see if they can maybe diagnose her first to see if she is indeed Manic.

I can't imagine what you're going through and Im sorry you have to go through this. I know she might not be receptive to this suggestion especially in her current state, but I think you should contact a professional just to see what advice they might have.

 

[Fairy Lucretia]

welcome to the forum x i think you need to contact her cpn as soon as possible ,you must feel truly awful and lost that this is happening x we are all here for you on the forum
make sure you take care of yourself too
Lu x

 

[User76564]

welcome to the forum x i think you need to contact her cpn as soon as possible ,you must feel truly awful and lost that this is happening x we are all here for you on the forum
make sure you take care of yourself too
Lu x

Thank you
This is so very difficult, sleep, work, life. My mind wonders whether this is reflective of true beliefs that she can't say when on meds.
Regarding cpn, she has said she is booked next week however the Care Coordinator is unavailable at the weekends. Just spoken to Crisis Line and they have said that they cant see any bookings for my partner but will send an email. Also told only to attend A&E if she is a risk to herself or others.
Guess I have to grin and bear the weekend. She went out at 7 to get water, came back with wine and is now already got through about 1000ml.

 

[LadyDomino]

The NHS Website has advice on how to get phone help/advice - I'd call them ASAP.

Do you think she could harm herself (or others) whilst drunk?

 

[keith74]

Thank you
This is so very difficult, sleep, work, life. My mind wonders whether this is reflective of true beliefs that she can't say when on meds.

I know exactly how you feel. My wife became very manic 2 months ago. She said she doesn't need meds anymore and said all sorts of hurtful things and she wanted a separation/divorce. She was very convincing. She was hospitalized for a few weeks. They were able to convince her to try Olanzapine before she was discharged. After 4 weeks on it, her mania is subsiding and she is starting to (slowly) come around on the idea that she should continue be on some meds for maintenance. Our relationship is better now and she regrets much of what she has said (including separation, etc).

One thing I will say regarding if what she says while manic is her "true beliefs"... note that everything she says while manic is often exaggerated/amplified with no filter (or through a filter of anger). However, there may be a kernel of truth to some of it. When I asked my wife about the things she said, she admitted that a few of the ones she repeated a lot were some legit issues that typically she does not think is a big deal overall (when at baseline) so she never bothered mentioning before. Her manic episode really shone a light on them and going forward I decided to take those "minor" greviances seriously and try to address them.

 

[keith74]

There is another member on this board that has been going through a similar experience to what you are describing. The thread is called "My wife seems changed....permanently...".

Yup, that's me!

 

[User76564]

I know exactly how you feel. My wife became very manic 2 months ago. She said she doesn't need meds anymore and said all sorts of hurtful things and she wanted a separation/divorce. She was very convincing. She was hospitalized for a few weeks. They were able to convince her to try Olanzapine before she was discharged. After 4 weeks on it, her mania is subsiding and she is starting to (slowly) come around on the idea that she should continue be on some meds for maintenance. Our relationship is better now and she regrets much of what she has said (including separation, etc).

One thing I will say regarding if what she says while manic is her "true beliefs"... note that everything she says while manic is often exaggerated/amplified with no filter (or through a filter of anger). However, there may be a kernel of truth to some of it. When I asked my wife about the things she said, she admitted that a few of the ones she repeated a lot were some legit issues that typically she does not think is a big deal overall (when at baseline) so she never bothered mentioning before. Her manic episode really shone a light on them and going forward I decided to take those "minor" greviances seriously and try to address them.

Thank you, what point did they hospitalize? I fear that she can appear normal when she wants and can only be forced to after either being a danger to herself or others.
You are so correct, it is as if she really believes what she is saying and really does hurt.
I just don't see a way of sorting it at the moment, I feel she won't accept a&e and so until she is a danger to herself or others I cannot do anything.

 

[keith74]

I was fortunate regarding her hospitalization. It was about a week or so during the height of her mania where she had a severe panic attack (when we had an argument about my desire for her to get back on her meds) and she called 911 herself for medical help. When she was being evaluated by a doctor, it was clear she was in a very manic episode (I also called the hospital myself to reiterate this). Hence they then admitted her to the psych ward of the hospital despite her objections.

As for sorting out what she said, it is a bit futile to try right now. She just is not in the proper frame of mind for rational arguments.

If you cannot do anything to calm her mania and she is mostly under control, you unfortunately may have to simply let the mania take its course on its own. I was preparing myself for the long haul for that to happen but fortunately(?) the hospitalization happened. However the hospitalization itself was a traumatic experience for her so it was just a difficult situation all around.

Sorry you are going through this. I know your pain. One of the best advice I got was don't forget to take care of yourself. It is important for you to seek therapy and support.

 

[User76564]

Serious question, she is on aripritpozal, what if I was to crush it and add it to the activia drink she has in the morning, would this be right?

Thing is she has been through two previous episodes in the past with quite serious psychotic events, just thought the past issues would lead to it being easier to get her sectioned before she does something rash
She is now asleep, after drinking from 7am about 3 bottles.

 

[JessisMe]

When I was off my meds for bipolar I did a lot of drinking too and did a lot of things that showed tremendously bad judgement (went shopping for cars even though I had no money, looked into buying a condo even though I had no money, etc....) The alcohol seemed to be a substitute for the meds to me (unconsciously) but it left me very erratic and behaving poorly. Once I realized that I was in mania and went back on my meds these things seemed to calm down and subside. It seems like having her in the hospital would be ideal because in part it would take her away from the alcohol which only adds fuel to the manic fire. I agree with others who say to take care of yourself and exercise healthy boundaries so you are not harmed by the mania as it is passing. Continue to advocate for her to gain admission to the hospital and prepare to ride out the storm with her. Things should subside after. You just have to take care that while in the midst of things nobody gets harmed. xo, j

 

[User76564]

When I was off my meds for bipolar I did a lot of drinking too and did a lot of things that showed tremendously bad judgement (went shopping for cars even though I had no money, looked into buying a condo even though I had no money, etc....) The alcohol seemed to be a substitute for the meds to me (unconsciously) but it left me very erratic and behaving poorly. Once I realized that I was in mania and went back on my meds these things seemed to calm down and subside. It seems like having her in the hospital would be ideal because in part it would take her away from the alcohol which only adds fuel to the manic fire. I agree with others who say to take care of yourself and exercise healthy boundaries so you are not harmed by the mania as it is passing. Continue to advocate for her to gain admission to the hospital and prepare to ride out the storm with her. Things should subside after. You just have to take care that while in the midst of things nobody gets harmed. xo, j

Thank you, how long did it take you to realise as my partner thinks she is fine and is insisting it is the end. After sleeping she has woken and 'can we please remain friends' in such a normal way.

 

[JessisMe]

Thank you, how long did it take you to realise as my partner thinks she is fine and is insisting it is the end. After sleeping she has woken and 'can we please remain friends' in such a normal way.

It took about a year but in general my manias are long. xo, j