• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Need urgent help

U

User76564

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2020
Messages
21
Location
Se1
We live in the UK, My partner has bipolar and has decided to stop the medication last weekend she has since become obsessed with social media and music, she is now drinking most of the day and has no hangover what so ever. The biggest thing is last night she decided to tell me that she doesn't love me, the wedding will be cancelled and has been looking at flats. I am so lost, I don't know what I should be doing. I have informed the care coordinator and understand they are meeting in the coming week. What do I do. Thank you
 
Bipolarbear808

Bipolarbear808

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 15, 2020
Messages
226
Location
USA
We live in the UK, My partner has bipolar and has decided to stop the medication last weekend she has since become obsessed with social media and music, she is now drinking most of the day and has no hangover what so ever. The biggest thing is last night she decided to tell me that she doesn't love me, the wedding will be cancelled and has been looking at flats. I am so lost, I don't know what I should be doing. I have informed the care coordinator and understand they are meeting in the coming week. What do I do. Thank you
It sounds like your partner might be having a Manic Episode. I say that because she is able to drink a lot without getting a hang over. Unfortunately, I am not a medical professional and can't offer any medical advice outside of saying that I think she really needs to be under professional medical care right now (in a hospital).

There is another member on this board that has been going through a similar experience to what you are describing. The thread is called "My wife seems changed....permanently...". Basically, if she is indeed having a Manic Episode she can be saying and doing things she really doesn't mean due to Mania, and you won't really know what is what until the Mania subsides. I really hope that you are able to get her professional help and that things work out for the best. Hope this helps!
 
U

User76564

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2020
Messages
21
Location
Se1
Thank you, this is so hard, she is due to see her care coordinator next week but it wouldn't surprise me if signs a lease before then. I am starting to feel that she will need hospitalization but at what point would that happen?
 
Bipolarbear808

Bipolarbear808

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 15, 2020
Messages
226
Location
USA
Thank you, this is so hard, she is due to see her care coordinator next week but it wouldn't surprise me if signs a lease before then. I am starting to feel that she will need hospitalization but at what point would that happen?
If she is indeed Manic right now, I would take her to the emergency room as soon a possible. Before she does something like signs a lease on an apartment, or buys a new car, or blows her life savings. I would recommend trying to speak with your primary care doctor or Telehealth nurse to see if they can maybe diagnose her first to see if she is indeed Manic.

I can't imagine what you're going through and Im sorry you have to go through this. I know she might not be receptive to this suggestion especially in her current state, but I think you should contact a professional just to see what advice they might have.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
38,231
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
welcome to the forum x i think you need to contact her cpn as soon as possible ,you must feel truly awful and lost that this is happening x we are all here for you on the forum
make sure you take care of yourself too
Lu x
 
U

User76564

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2020
Messages
21
Location
Se1
welcome to the forum x i think you need to contact her cpn as soon as possible ,you must feel truly awful and lost that this is happening x we are all here for you on the forum
make sure you take care of yourself too
Lu x
Thank you
This is so very difficult, sleep, work, life. My mind wonders whether this is reflective of true beliefs that she can't say when on meds.
Regarding cpn, she has said she is booked next week however the Care Coordinator is unavailable at the weekends. Just spoken to Crisis Line and they have said that they cant see any bookings for my partner but will send an email. Also told only to attend A&E if she is a risk to herself or others.
Guess I have to grin and bear the weekend. She went out at 7 to get water, came back with wine and is now already got through about 1000ml.
 
L

LadyDomino

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2019
Messages
526
Location
Dorset
The NHS Website has advice on how to get phone help/advice - I'd call them ASAP.

Do you think she could harm herself (or others) whilst drunk?
 
K

keith74

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 14, 2020
Messages
391
Location
Canada
Thank you
This is so very difficult, sleep, work, life. My mind wonders whether this is reflective of true beliefs that she can't say when on meds.
I know exactly how you feel. My wife became very manic 2 months ago. She said she doesn't need meds anymore and said all sorts of hurtful things and she wanted a separation/divorce. She was very convincing. She was hospitalized for a few weeks. They were able to convince her to try Olanzapine before she was discharged. After 4 weeks on it, her mania is subsiding and she is starting to (slowly) come around on the idea that she should continue be on some meds for maintenance. Our relationship is better now and she regrets much of what she has said (including separation, etc).

One thing I will say regarding if what she says while manic is her "true beliefs"... note that everything she says while manic is often exaggerated/amplified with no filter (or through a filter of anger). However, there may be a kernel of truth to some of it. When I asked my wife about the things she said, she admitted that a few of the ones she repeated a lot were some legit issues that typically she does not think is a big deal overall (when at baseline) so she never bothered mentioning before. Her manic episode really shone a light on them and going forward I decided to take those "minor" greviances seriously and try to address them.
 
K

keith74

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 14, 2020
Messages
391
Location
Canada
There is another member on this board that has been going through a similar experience to what you are describing. The thread is called "My wife seems changed....permanently...".
Yup, that's me!
 
U

User76564

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2020
Messages
21
Location
Se1
I know exactly how you feel. My wife became very manic 2 months ago. She said she doesn't need meds anymore and said all sorts of hurtful things and she wanted a separation/divorce. She was very convincing. She was hospitalized for a few weeks. They were able to convince her to try Olanzapine before she was discharged. After 4 weeks on it, her mania is subsiding and she is starting to (slowly) come around on the idea that she should continue be on some meds for maintenance. Our relationship is better now and she regrets much of what she has said (including separation, etc).

One thing I will say regarding if what she says while manic is her "true beliefs"... note that everything she says while manic is often exaggerated/amplified with no filter (or through a filter of anger). However, there may be a kernel of truth to some of it. When I asked my wife about the things she said, she admitted that a few of the ones she repeated a lot were some legit issues that typically she does not think is a big deal overall (when at baseline) so she never bothered mentioning before. Her manic episode really shone a light on them and going forward I decided to take those "minor" greviances seriously and try to address them.
Thank you, what point did they hospitalize? I fear that she can appear normal when she wants and can only be forced to after either being a danger to herself or others.
You are so correct, it is as if she really believes what she is saying and really does hurt.
I just don't see a way of sorting it at the moment, I feel she won't accept a&e and so until she is a danger to herself or others I cannot do anything.
 
K

keith74

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 14, 2020
Messages
391
Location
Canada
I was fortunate regarding her hospitalization. It was about a week or so during the height of her mania where she had a severe panic attack (when we had an argument about my desire for her to get back on her meds) and she called 911 herself for medical help. When she was being evaluated by a doctor, it was clear she was in a very manic episode (I also called the hospital myself to reiterate this). Hence they then admitted her to the psych ward of the hospital despite her objections.

As for sorting out what she said, it is a bit futile to try right now. She just is not in the proper frame of mind for rational arguments.

If you cannot do anything to calm her mania and she is mostly under control, you unfortunately may have to simply let the mania take its course on its own. I was preparing myself for the long haul for that to happen but fortunately(?) the hospitalization happened. However the hospitalization itself was a traumatic experience for her so it was just a difficult situation all around.

Sorry you are going through this. I know your pain. One of the best advice I got was don't forget to take care of yourself. It is important for you to seek therapy and support.
 
U

User76564

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2020
Messages
21
Location
Se1
Serious question, she is on aripritpozal, what if I was to crush it and add it to the activia drink she has in the morning, would this be right?

Thing is she has been through two previous episodes in the past with quite serious psychotic events, just thought the past issues would lead to it being easier to get her sectioned before she does something rash
She is now asleep, after drinking from 7am about 3 bottles.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
8,247
Location
Nashua NH
When I was off my meds for bipolar I did a lot of drinking too and did a lot of things that showed tremendously bad judgement (went shopping for cars even though I had no money, looked into buying a condo even though I had no money, etc....) The alcohol seemed to be a substitute for the meds to me (unconsciously) but it left me very erratic and behaving poorly. Once I realized that I was in mania and went back on my meds these things seemed to calm down and subside. It seems like having her in the hospital would be ideal because in part it would take her away from the alcohol which only adds fuel to the manic fire. I agree with others who say to take care of yourself and exercise healthy boundaries so you are not harmed by the mania as it is passing. Continue to advocate for her to gain admission to the hospital and prepare to ride out the storm with her. Things should subside after. You just have to take care that while in the midst of things nobody gets harmed. xo, j
 
U

User76564

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2020
Messages
21
Location
Se1
When I was off my meds for bipolar I did a lot of drinking too and did a lot of things that showed tremendously bad judgement (went shopping for cars even though I had no money, looked into buying a condo even though I had no money, etc....) The alcohol seemed to be a substitute for the meds to me (unconsciously) but it left me very erratic and behaving poorly. Once I realized that I was in mania and went back on my meds these things seemed to calm down and subside. It seems like having her in the hospital would be ideal because in part it would take her away from the alcohol which only adds fuel to the manic fire. I agree with others who say to take care of yourself and exercise healthy boundaries so you are not harmed by the mania as it is passing. Continue to advocate for her to gain admission to the hospital and prepare to ride out the storm with her. Things should subside after. You just have to take care that while in the midst of things nobody gets harmed. xo, j
Thank you, how long did it take you to realise as my partner thinks she is fine and is insisting it is the end. After sleeping she has woken and 'can we please remain friends' in such a normal way.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
8,247
Location
Nashua NH
Thank you, how long did it take you to realise as my partner thinks she is fine and is insisting it is the end. After sleeping she has woken and 'can we please remain friends' in such a normal way.
It took about a year but in general my manias are long. xo, j
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
LunaBloodmist I just need to talk.. Bipolar Forum 15
M My on/off partner has shown all signs of bipolar, and I need help & advice please Bipolar Forum 4
Angelove72 Manic 48+ hours oh god now need sleep Bipolar Forum 4
dubblemonkey my turn to need some comfort Bipolar Forum 1
starfoxxy90 Advice need maybe?? Bipolar Forum 4
V Long read: a magma of meds and confusion, need advice or comfort Bipolar Forum 1
D i need to know something Bipolar Forum 5
h_put2021 Need some support --- loaded & lengthy post Bipolar Forum 3
S I need help. I don’t need help. Bipolar Forum 8
C Need some input please Bipolar Forum 9
HLon99 Need advice about psychiatrist appointment Bipolar Forum 17
h_put2021 Need help Bipolar Forum 5
L Need some advice about my bipolar wife. Bipolar Forum 7
S need advice? Bipolar Forum 7
K Need help regarding how to respond to my wife's last outburst Bipolar Forum 11
D Need help understanding Bipolar Forum 10
K Need advice on partner going through depressive phase Bipolar Forum 8
K I need help.. Bipolar Forum 13
D i gonna find a job but i need an opinion Bipolar Forum 5
angel1982 URGENT ADVICE PLEASE IM DESPERATE Bipolar Forum 25
F Would love some help/advice understanding my first experience with someone who has bipolar - Bipolar Forum 10
floatin Does Meditation Help? Bipolar Forum 28
Julia_2021 Med is killing my libido, is there any help? Bipolar Forum 24
M Help! I am in Pain! Bipolar Forum 12
U Please help Bipolar Forum 16
D Help me Bipolar Forum 10
J Bipolar help Bipolar Forum 19
G How do reach out for help when I can't speak about it out loud? Bipolar Forum 1
B Getting help for anxiety Bipolar Forum 4
J Feeling defeated, boyfriend does not want to seek help...what can I do? Bipolar Forum 8
G best friend with bipolar disorder abruptly dumped me, help! Bipolar Forum 17
N where to start with asking for help and getting an assessment for bipolar. Bipolar Forum 10
S please help Bipolar Forum 4
M Help Bipolar Forum 1
B Re: my partner doesn't understand nor help. Bipolar Forum 3
B My partner doesn't understand nor help. Bipolar Forum 9
M Help Bipolar Forum 6
S Can someone help me understand what I should do? Bipolar Forum 14
M How do I help someone with bipolar? Bipolar Forum 10
Marly92 Bipolar and amphetamines HELP Bipolar Forum 9
C ** Please Help me ** Needing opinions on wife's mental state... Bipolar Forum 10
Y Help! My boyfriend is bipolar Bipolar Forum 9
S Help My Husband has Bipolar and I dont know what to do Bipolar Forum 5
J lithium is making my hair look crazy :( any ideas to help? Bipolar Forum 3
S Some help Bipolar Forum 4
HLon99 Excessive Sleeping Help! Bipolar Forum 1
M I am bipolar type 2, and my younger brother was now recently diagnosed with type 1. Please help. Bipolar Forum 2
HLon99 Help for a friend who is seeing ghosts Bipolar Forum 3
W Help ... Doc wants to change my medication from Seroquel to Rexulti Bipolar Forum 3
D I HAVE A FORTHCOMING CAMPUS FINAL YEAR EXAM depression or ANXIETY... PLZ HELP Bipolar Forum 9

Similar threads

Top