Need to Talk!

[RubyAnn]

I haven't been on here for a while... but I don't feel like I have anywhere else to turn to.... I am on anti-depressants for the 4th time and I recently took 8 months off work because I was very depressed... I started a new job about 7 weeks ago, and I can't cope already... and I know if I walk out of another job my family are going to be so pissed off with me... no matter what I do to try and get better nothing seems to work... I just feel so trapped again.

 

[ms_P]

Hi RubyAnn,
Do you have any form of talk therapy at the moment? Sometimes the meds aren't enough on their own. Have you had a complete physical check-up as well, to eliminate possible ailments that may cause or add to your depression?

I know from my own experiences - being a thyroid patient - that when my meds weren't acurate for my thyroid to work properly, I became extremely depressed. I'm just giving you an example.

I don't think you should worry too much about what other people think. Sometimes we think we know what other's are thinking...and we're wrong. I 'think' you should focus on your health, and not what other people think.
I hope that wasn't as confusing to read as it was to write.
Take care and keep posting.

 

[messymoo]

I am sorry to hear your feeling so low RubyAnn and I agree with ms_P you shouldn't worry about what anyone else thinks what is most important is what is right for you and what you are able to cope with, your health is far more important. I know this is easier said than done though as I constantly worry about what people must think of me being out of work and on benefits but I know I just couldn't cope with working at the moment. I was also wondering could you possibly speak to your boss at work and maybe he/she could help you in some way to make it easier to cope with, just a thought though.
Take care

 

[RubyAnn]

thanks 4 ur comments.... i don't have any other health problems i have regular check ups....

i was having counselling but i had to go on the waiting list again as they didnt have any one for me... but i went and spoke to someone else today, i still have to go on another waiting list but they seemed so much more positive.

i am just soo worried about work... i have a shift tomorrow... i am a care woker and thats a hard job to do when your depressed and not really with it.... i should talk to my boss i know... i just have no idea where to start....

 

[grace68]

"i am a care woker and thats a hard job to do when your depressed and not really with it.... i should talk to my boss i know... i just have no idea where to start...."

rubyann i'm longterm off sick from my job as a nurse. any caring job is incredibly demanding and difficult to manage when you're under par.

depression is also very common amongst care workers. your employer will almost certainly have had many other employees with depression. it would be better for your employer to find a way of supporting you, (whether you need some time off, or reduced hours, or change in shift pattern) than to lose you.
i wonder if you have an occupational health department? i found it much easier to talk to occupational health, and then they wrote to my line manager for me. i'm on the time off, considering the shift/hour changes or maybe re-deployment. this might not be appropriate at all for your circumstances, but i hope some of it helps you.

 

[RubyAnn]

thank you for your suggestions....
i have only been there about 7weeks so im not really sure how to bring it up with my manager, its my first time in care work... im not really worried about losing the job to be honest... i more worried about my family being disappointed in me for giving up so soon... i just feel really trapped!

 

[messymoo]

Could you try talking to your family about how your feeling? or could someone else speak to them on your behalf? I feel such a hypocrite typing this as I keep my family in the dark about most things I can understand you not wanting to disappoint them but are you sure thay would be disappointed?

 

[RubyAnn]

no i cant talk to them... i dont even know where to start... i felt like i had to lie to them today so that i could have the day of work...

 

[*Sapphire*]

Hi Rubyann

I would ask myself if you were receiving chemotherapy would your family have problems with you taking time off work? Would they be disappointed in you as a result?
You are suffering with a debilitating illness, you are taking medication for it. You are doing the best you can in these circumstances. Why should a mental health issue be treated different to a physical one?

In my opinion you are not giving up, you are trying to make a decision that will probably be in the best interests of your health and your employers.
If you can, I would speak to your managers. And whatever you and they decide is for the best, both you and your parents will have to accept.

In my opinon, lieing to your parents and being secretive might increase your problems. You need support at a time like this, and by lieing to your parents you are not enabling them to support you.

Can you see your GP and ask them if they would sign you off, or if they think you should be signed off? That way when you confront your parents and your manager you will be backed up by a GPs opinion.

Hang in there, and do keep posting

 

[RubyAnn]

I think I am just going to go into work tomorrow and tell my boss that I'm not able to do the job... there is no point in trying to hide it and pretend that I am okay when I'm obviously not...

 

[RubyAnn]

Thank you for your post Sapphire.

I will speak to my boss tomorrow because yes they lieing just adds more and more pressure on me...

 

[RubyAnn]

Thanks everyone for all your comments... just keeping you updated....

I spoke to my boss today and I have not quit my job... but she has said I can take some time off.. she was really nice about it....

 

[*Sapphire*]

That's great that they were so good about it RubyAnn! Well done you for talking to them about it, I can imagine how hard that must have been for you.

 

[ms_P]

That's a great first step RubyAnn.
Make good use of your time off.
xxx

 

[RubyAnn]

ok... my mum was really rude to me this morning and spoke to me like a piece of shit.... and since she got home from work this evening she hasnt even said hello to me... and now i feel like shit... its making me feel like i've done something wrong now...