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Need to explain why i have no hope

W

Windsor

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
9
Just need to explain as no one understands.
My wife walked out after 32 years as she couldnt cope with my depression and my need for her support. That was 3 years ago and i see no reason to carry on .
Had a number of jobs since as unable to cope and now living with my mum. At 55 there seems no point carrying on. I have no children and the pain of being alone becomes worse.

I have given it 3 months and then i will decide. People say things will get better but i cannot see how.
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
8,374
Location
Another planet
Hi, just want to welcome you to the forum.

Sorry you are feeling so bad. Just wondered if you have any professional support or have tried any therapy.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
10,195
Location
England
Hi,
Welcome to the forum
I'm so sorry things seem so bleak at the moment, have you tried any meds or therapy?
Please see your dr urgently as you sound very suicidal or visit your local emergency department asap.
Life can be cruel, I'm really hoping life is kinder to you very soon.
Take care
 
W

Windsor

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
9
No more hope

Hi, thanks for the message. I am on medication and have had various therapies recently and in the past. Emotionally I feel quite rational about it all. My mental health is obviously not good but recently I have come to the conclusion that having suffered all my life I cannot see it improving. The older you get perhaps you realise that things cannot change.

Now I am on my own coping is much harder. I have always found the practicalities of life difficult and have been sheltered by my marriage. I just dont want to cope anymore, every day waking up for no reason.

I joined the forum to get my thoughts out there so thank you so much for replying. I dont have anyone, left to talk to.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
10,195
Location
England
Hi,
You can talk to us, I hope it helps.
 
W

Windsor

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
9
Thanks for your kind message, . Yes have tried everything, including doctors etc. Yes I feel suicidal but it is not an impulsive feeling. Dont want to be locked up so you have to be careful about what you say. I am giving life time to work so we shall see
 
W

Windsor

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
9
Thank you. Yes it does help. Just seem so tired and dont want to start life again
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
10,195
Location
England
Hi,
I know depression can be very tiring, hope things improve for you.
Take care
 
I

Ina01

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
100
Don't give up - and age doesn't matter. I'm older than you, I've had depression on and off all my life, and I've not given up. Some times are better than other, some worse. In fact, at the moment I've another health problem, which forces me to stay home and mostly in bed - but strangely enough, depression doesn't raise its head just now... So things can get better. I also know not having anybody to talk to - that's what this forum is for. When I need somebody to talk, I spend a lot more time online... Maybe not as good as the real thing, but it helps. Don't give up!
 
albie

albie

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 22, 2013
Messages
171
Hope doesn't always exist. When I was 17 I was over weight and suicidal and had the opinion that nobody would ever find me attractive. A few years later, after a mental collapse, I lost weight and found a girlfriend.

NOw I'm 45 and don't really feel like finding another girlfriend. It just wouldn't work or be practical.

Who would want to date a lunatic like me? Except another lunatic.

I'm not sure what I'm really saying. Just find something that gives you pleasure(dvds books, tv, music) and devote yourself to it.
 
W

Windsor

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
9
Thank you. I think with the way things have gone for me i have felt like giving up for the last three years. How long can i carry on, i dont know. That is why i have given myself some more time Being on this forum is useful to me. Perhaps it will help.
 
W

Windsor

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
9
Hope has not existed for me for many years. Why should things get better. At best i have 25 years of being alone, lost and afraid. The things i used to like doing dont seem to work anymore. Scared of the future with no money and nowhere nice to live.
 
B

barmcake

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 6, 2016
Messages
140
Three months is not long enough, give yourself at least a year. You may just want the pain to go away, rather than dying. When I was 55 I still wanted things but now I'm much older I've stopped wanting and just make my own world as comfortable as possible. Giving up hope is normal sometimes but it often comes back without warning and will give you the strength to carry on. Give yourself more time to work things out. I don't think you will spend the next 25 years being alone and lost. Be kind to yourself and take baby steps. January is a depressing month.
 
W

Windsor

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
9
Thanks.i have given myself 3 months as i have been like this for much longer. Perhaps i will wait for a year. Thngs sometimes do inprove. I too just want to make the world as comfortable as possible. I have had a relatively comfortable life till now so not having my own place and no money is very hard. We shall see how things go.
 
B

barmcake

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 6, 2016
Messages
140
Am so glad you're giving yourself longer. Not having your own place or money must be awful. Life will end one day anyway so you might as well try and hang on until your natural time comes. I'm a fellow depressive and completely understand that feeling of wanting to give up. You deserve more and I hope one day you get a place of your own.
 
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