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Need some input please

C

celticlass

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I have a LONG history of being anxious and/or depressed. This spans 40 years as I am now 63. I used alcohol for around 20 years, eventually concluding my drinking was done at the end alcohollically. During the years 2012 to the end of 2015, I had a good few admissions. Drink figured in these but I was also in major depression and there were concerns about my intention to end my life. At this time there were concerns about bi-polar disorder. My alcohol misuse did not make matters easy. Mixed states were mentioned.

Fast forward to 2020. I have not touched alcohol for 5 years now. There have been changes to my medication here and there, and most recently a mood stabiliser, Topiramate, was removed. This had been used for the alcohol side of things but I was ok in that respect. My other medication is Pregablin 150 mg x 2 daily, Venlafaxine SR 20p mg daily. Other meds for physical illness.

So what's problem? Difficulty sleeping resulting in me being awake till 5 in morning. During the day I would not say I am depressed to any worrying extent. In fact I feel quite cheerful and can be bubbly and excited. My point of worry is that yesterday I was driving somewhere early morning and I 'thought' the radio talk etc was directed at me. A song was played - but to me it was a jumble. Muffled sound. Prior to it being played I thought the DJ was announcing it was for someone with my initials. The song title was given out at the end and I googled it, to find it did exist. The song was Love Will Tear Us Apart if anyone is curious. This links to a personal relationship situation which has been bubbling this year.

Now away back in 1999, in the midst of a major depressive episode which kept me off work for nearly a year, I experienced something similar. I had become fixated on someone at work. I thought I could hear him communicating directly with me (talking.in my head). There was a car radio incident where a song was played (supposedly?!) for me etc and it had been asked for by this worker.

This has got me worried. I don't know whether to call the crisis team tonight to discuss. So I have come here first for advice.

Thank you all.
 
C

celticlass

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It should read 200 mg Venlafaxine.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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I have a LONG history of being anxious and/or depressed. This spans 40 years as I am now 63. I used alcohol for around 20 years, eventually concluding my drinking was done at the end alcohollically. During the years 2012 to the end of 2015, I had a good few admissions. Drink figured in these but I was also in major depression and there were concerns about my intention to end my life. At this time there were concerns about bi-polar disorder. My alcohol misuse did not make matters easy. Mixed states were mentioned.

Fast forward to 2020. I have not touched alcohol for 5 years now. There have been changes to my medication here and there, and most recently a mood stabiliser, Topiramate, was removed. This had been used for the alcohol side of things but I was ok in that respect. My other medication is Pregablin 150 mg x 2 daily, Venlafaxine SR 20p mg daily. Other meds for physical illness.

So what's problem? Difficulty sleeping resulting in me being awake till 5 in morning. During the day I would not say I am depressed to any worrying extent. In fact I feel quite cheerful and can be bubbly and excited. My point of worry is that yesterday I was driving somewhere early morning and I 'thought' the radio talk etc was directed at me. A song was played - but to me it was a jumble. Muffled sound. Prior to it being played I thought the DJ was announcing it was for someone with my initials. The song title was given out at the end and I googled it, to find it did exist. The song was Love Will Tear Us Apart if anyone is curious. This links to a personal relationship situation which has been bubbling this year.

Now away back in 1999, in the midst of a major depressive episode which kept me off work for nearly a year, I experienced something similar. I had become fixated on someone at work. I thought I could hear him communicating directly with me (talking.in my head). There was a car radio incident where a song was played (supposedly?!) for me etc and it had been asked for by this worker.

This has got me worried. I don't know whether to call the crisis team tonight to discuss. So I have come here first for advice.

Thank you all.
Hello there, I have Bipolar and also have thoughts that the radio is playing songs directly for me, and that they are the feelings/communications of my ex and what he is secretly feeling about me/the relationship and what he would really like to get across. It happens almost any time I am driving with my Dad and he is listening to the radio. It almost never happens in my Moms car. I never attributed it to Bipolar but I guess it could be. It does disturb me because I don’t want to think about my ex in this way or at all. It just very strongly feels that way so I understand how you feel about it. I hope this is helpful. xo, j
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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I would definitely call crisis as it could be psychosis and that is something you will want to pay attention to. xo, j
 
C

celticlass

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Thanks. I just feel so embarrassed about it and wondering if I am over reacting etc This is always a difficult time of year and do not want to upset my family any more. It does help to know someone else experiences this.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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I have some experiences like this. I do see them as messages, i have good and bad, i don't really know anyone what is mental illness and what is something greater. Not getting to sleep until 5am is not fair though and so i think it would be good to check if the doctor can help with that. It may be the venlafaxine, but reducing it might allow you to be depressed. We never really know what is going on. If everything was normal, i would worry ;)
 
C

celticlass

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I'm so sorry but I really do not see sense in your comment. I take the Venlafaxine in the morning as I know it can affect my sleep, so it is not that keeping me awake etc And I am not seeing why I would want it reduced to 'allow' me to be depressed. I don't want to feel that again and have been kind of thinking I am showing signs of depression re not sleeping etc Maybe there are one or two typos which have slipped in I don't know. Just not getting it. I am trying to establish here whether to take professional advice or not. Hearing messages through my radio is not something I am too familiar with and I cannot tell what is reality and what is not. But thank you anyway.
..
 
HLon99

HLon99

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You're definitely not overreacting, there is clearly something going on. You should absolutely go see a doctor at your earliest convenience. By the sounds of it, you are having a manic psychotic episode and the event you had in 1999 was a depressive psychotic episode. I have bipolar disorder with psychotic features, but even I never had any delusions that severe. At most I thought I was a very important person with special powers and felt paranoid that all my friends were plotting against me. Please call the crisis team ASAP.
 
C

celticlass

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Joined
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Messages
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Location
Scotland
You're definitely not overreacting, there is clearly something going on. You should absolutely go see a doctor at your earliest convenience. By the sounds of it, you are having a manic psychotic episode and the event you had in 1999 was a depressive psychotic episode. I have bipolar disorder with psychotic features, but even I never had any delusions that severe. At most I thought I was a very important person with special powers and felt paranoid that all my friends were plotting against me. Please call the crisis team ASAP.
Thank you. This is actually my own thinking about it and worry. I am going to have to tell somebody I guess.
 
C

celticlass

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I have had telephone appointment with the GP this afternoon. Well they don't really do anything without approval from Psych do they?! He has prescribed a week supply of sleeping tablets though to try help with my sleep pattern. Bit concerned that the anti-depressants could be pushing mood up instead of down. And so I wait for a Psychiatrist to get in touch. So much to do and so little time at Xmas. I will do what I can tonight. Got a roaring log fire on which is relaxing.
 
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