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Need some help

petal

petal

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Mar 5, 2008
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16
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Nottingham
Hi
I would say that I've been struggling with depression on and off for the last 6 or 7 years, and recently it's seemed much worse than ever before. I started a new job last August, and I get treated like a complete idiot by my boss every day, which doesn't make me feel able to supervise other people (part of my job as an assistant shop manager). It's pretty much my first full time job and I know they took me on as they thought I had potential, but I can't help thinking it was just because they were desperate at the time. I have been looking for a new job as I hate this one, but every day I seem to get rejected for a job I've applied for, or can't seem to find anything I'm qualified for.
Last year I finished a degree, but it seems useless, so I feel like I've wasted 3 years of my life, and got into a whole load of debt for it, which I can't pay off because I'm not earning enough.
On top of that, my boyfriend and I have been having problems recently, not being able to talk to eachother about things. He knows about my depression, but last night he said he wasn't sure if we had a future together, and he wasn't sure if we were only together because we live together. Despite this he promised me that he loves me still, and I want to be with him, but he says that he's not felt like himself for a while. I'm not sure if he's got some kind of depression/anxiety.

If anyone can help me, I would be so grateful, I just can't seem to get help. I tried going to talk to my doctor, and she made a new appointment for me to talk to her for longer about what was going on, but then it got cancelled. Then I made a new appointment which I forgot about, and now I have to wait to make a new one.
 
D

Dollit

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Make sure you get to the doctor next time. The fact she was willing to give you the double appointment means that she takes you seriously. That's good.

You're unhappy in your job and perhaps that's the part of why you're finding it hard to find a new one. I'm not saying that it's your fault, far from it but we can sometimes project the way we're feeling by use of body language. If you're in a better frame of mind then your body language is better. It's hard doing a job that you're over qualified for - it's frustrating and it does make you wonder what you're doing, you are definitely not the first person to feel that, it is a lot more common than you realise.

Have you and your boyfriend thought about couples counselling? Even if it got you to the point where you knew it was time to split up at least you'd know.

For the time being though it's too much to tackle all at once, far too much. Only you can make the decision as to what is the highest priority and then you have to learn to deal with that. We can be with you along the way. Try not to look at your life as one big problem - it's a serious of challenges that will lead to something better. :welcome:
 
Fedup

Fedup

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Dec 18, 2007
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1,937
Hello and :welcome: petal.

Sorry to read you are having a rough time at the moment , but as Dollit say's work on one thing at a time .
Are you on meds for your depression ?
 
singingdollydaydream

singingdollydaydream

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Feb 28, 2008
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156
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horley
Hi Petal
:welcome:

It`s a great that you identify you are feeling depressed and have sought help. That`s the first step. It`s easy to forget/ miss appointments when you feel low but it`s important that you don`t give up. When you`re ready, make another appointment.

Hope to talk again soon. Keep us posted :flowers:
 
daffy

daffy

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hiding behind the sofa
Hi there Petal and welcome. :welcome :Sorry your not feeling too bright. Do as dollitt says and get another appointment with you GP.

What did you get your degree in. Have you thought what job you would really like. Have you also thought that you may be better qualified than your boss and that may be why he acts like he does.
 
Rorschach

Rorschach

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Dec 19, 2007
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Hey there Petal, bit of a late welcome, but :welcome:

Seems the girls have beaten me to it, but Dollit has offered you some sound advice and nothing I can add to...:flowers:
 
petal

petal

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Joined
Mar 5, 2008
Messages
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Location
Nottingham
Thanks for your replies

Thanks everyone for being so friendly and welcoming, it's nice to know there are other people who understand how I feel and don't judge me for it. I know I'm not the only one in the world who feels down, it's just sometimes it feels like that because I have no one really who I can turn to.

I tried talking to my mum before but she has a lot to deal with right now after quitting her job, and to be honest, I'd feel like I've let her down if she really knew what was going on. My brother was taken into hospital after trying to kill himself when I was 14, and hasn't really spoken to us since. I know that upsets my mum and so I wouldn't want her to think that I was going the same way.

I made another doctors appointment for next tuesday, as I don't think I'll be able to cope with what's going on in my relationship with my boyfriend without some help.
I'm not on meds at the moment and I don't want to be either, it's not something I think would help me.

Does anyone have any experience of beating depression without drugs?

Thanks again everybody.

P.S. I think it could be that my boss realises I'm more qualified than him! But I think it's mostly an ego thing...:flowers:
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Don't discount drugs entirely - leave them on the back burner just in case. There are positive things you can do. Eat well, have good sleep hygiene, exercise a couple of times a week, treat yourself as though you're worth something, take time out just for yourself. I'm sure there's other people with hints too. :tea:
 
J

jooblue

Guest
Hiya and welcome,

Make sure you go to the appointment on Tuesday, maybe make a note of some of the things you specifically want to say ahead of time.

I don't think you should discount the drugs though. Sure there are lots of alternatives, but depression is usually manifested because of an imbalance of serotonin chemicals, which is something a medicine can help to re-balance, at least while you address other influencing issues. You'd take a paracetamol for a fever, right?

One step at a time :grouphug:
 
Ashami

Ashami

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Hey Petal

:welcome: to a brilliant forum. Hope u get the help u r looking for :hug::flowers:
 
petal

petal

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Mar 5, 2008
Messages
16
Location
Nottingham
Nothing ever goes right for me...

I just started my new job last week, and finally felt like my life was back on track... The hours were great, and they gave us a long weekend every 3 weeks! Fab...

Until yesterday when they called a meeting to say thanks for everybody's hard work, and by the way, we're taking away your saturdays off and we want you to work different hours.

Now it doesn't feel that great anymore, and I can feel myself slipping under again. I feel like I'm suffocating, and I can't find a way out. I need someone to help me, I need to feel like I've got a reason to live, because right now it doesn't feel like I'll ever be happy, or that I'll ever get my life where I want it to be.
I'm sure everybody here feels like this often, but I really don't think I can take any more...
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Can you try and work out the new hours to your advantage. Perhaps if you, say, get two days off in a row you can do something to help you relax then? It seems a shame to get stressed about this when you've been enjoying the job. Sorry Petal, not much of a reply I know. :hug:
 
petal

petal

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Joined
Mar 5, 2008
Messages
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Location
Nottingham
It just seems like they're taking away what little life I had. I used to work 9-5 and every saturday in a shop, and I gave that up to work 8-4 and get 1 in 3 saturdays off, now they've put me back to the shop hours and days... it's gona take me ages to get home now, so really they're taking an extra 2 hours of my life a day.

I don't live to work, but it feels now like I have nothing to live for if i have nothing to look forward to.
 
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