need some help

[coco]

Hi,

Im new to the site, but need some advice. I have BPD and get very moody. Recently I have been having trouble with a friend. They take the piss out of me fairly often as I do and say some stupid stuff, but the thing that has gotten to me is that when I show that I dont like it they wind me up even more, and have said to me that they think it is funny that it winds me up. If it was someone who I didnt care about then it wouldnt be an issue, but this is the only 'real life' person I have let in.
It is a vicious cycle. I get into moods because I hate the fact that they enjoy winding me up when they know it is getting to me. Then I get shit because I am always in a mood. I dont know what to do. Shut up and get on with it, or to walk away from them, or just cut off from them emotionally so what they say doesnt matter. I dont think they will change as I have tried talking to them about it. Any comments would be appreciated

 

[Apotheosis]

If you have explicitly stated how you feel, & they persist in taking the piss, then walk away & drop them out. I have had "friends" who have gone too far in taking advantage & being inconsiderate. I no longer suffer fools or tolerate rudeness for as long as I used to.

 

[coco]

Hi, thanks for your reply.
They say it is me when I try and say how I feel, that it is me twisting things and being the 'victim' all the time. That they have done so much for me and I just take take take. What if they are right and it is me, and I am more screwed up than I thought I was. I know I can be a bitch myself, I am under no delusion on that one. They are the only adult that I have in my life, and I am attached. I dont know if I would survive without them. I dont want to loose them, but dont know how much more I can take, if the pain of them out of my life would be more than I could take.

Sorry for rambling on. It is good to just get things out. Hopefully will help me see things more clearly rather than emotionally.

 

[Apotheosis]

It can be difficult to meet people & make new friends. But it can be done, groups are a good way of meeting people, whether at college with a course, or anything really. Mind & Rethink both run local support groups.

http://www.mind.org.uk/Mind+in+your+area/

http://www.rethink.org/how_we_can_help/our_services/search_for.html

 

[Lara]

I learnt along time ago, way before I was diagnosed with BPD, that to surround yourself with people you care about, but dont care about you is very damaging to yourself and can be detrimental to a stable period.

you need to have people around you that are supportive understanding, kind and respectful. from what you have described, this friend is none of those and although you feel now that you cannot cope with out them, you can and will, If that is your decision.

I think its some thing you have to think about. I know this will sound very juvenile but I used to write out pro's and cons of situations and I was honest with myself.
I found that alot of the decisions I made using that process were more beneficial to me than I originally thought.

you need to be around people who make you feel good about yourself and that are comfortable with you being you. saying that, I know it may seem impossible but believe me its not. My current partner and I got together when I was at my worst and we're still together. God knows why because I know what I do to him, but he understands and is very patient with me.
I also have some amazing people as my friends and strangely enough a majority of them have mental health issues of their own which have come to light recently.

Dont be afraid to get out there and meet new people you'll never know what you'll discover if you dont, but I can garantee that there are better people out there than the friend you speak of.

If you want to talk at all about any thing even if its to rant feel free to message me.

I hope this helps you