Need some advice for helping my partner

[Markyd]

Hello everyone

I would love some advice from anyone who is in a long term relationship and their partner who suffers from depression.

We have been together 7 years and she has really helped me through some tough times and made me a better person. My girlfriend lost her dad at a young age when we first started dating and I was too immature and insensitive to understand what was happening with her depression, I handled it badly and I have a lot of regrets. She has gotten through the worst parts of it from what I can tell but I want her to realise how amazing she is and to help her move forward with her life like she did for me. We have tried antidepressants with mixed results but she is not currently taking them. Things have got better but I feel like I’m holding her back and delaying her recovery. I’m not a person who likes talking and this is our main problem. When she is sad and pouring her heart out I’m useless, I can get irritable and restless during long chats and I often cause the conversation to take a negative turn and make things worse than the they were in the first place. I find it hard to know what to say, all she wants to do is have a chat to discuss her feelings but I bring her down. Im very lucky to have her and I want her to see what I see her in her. Anyway thank you for reading and any suggestions for helping their partner through this difficult time would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Micsodi]

Hello, Markyd!

Nice to meet you, and welcome on the forums!
It's tough, I know.
You seem to be a loving and caring partner. I wish I could tell you the perfect way to solve this, but I have no idea.
I think living with someone who suffers from depression is hard on anybody, we get irritated, it's hard to understand how someone let's themselves go. I used to be careless with my mother, who had depression and never got treated for it. I was cruel. I wish I had been more mature to understand.
Now I have it too, and it's hard on my relationship.
I can only tell you what I wish for: love, laughter, caring and time together. No filter, just plain old him and me.
I hope she gets better and you'll be happy together.