• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Need immediate help!

L

live4kids

New member
Joined
May 17, 2020
Messages
3
Location
USA
Hi,
I don't know where to go. I want to know what kind of mental problem my wife is having. She always find bad interpretation to anything people around her does or says. Many times, she will argue with me about something that happened decades ago (usually her fault, so I then explains to her how it could have been avoided). But then she would argue why I was blaming her for things which happened decades ago. She gets verbally abusive insulting me or whoever she is arguing with. We now live far away from our relatives. We have been married for more than 20 years. I few times I thought of killing myself to escape this, but the thought of my kids have been preventing me from doing it.
 
Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
1,565
Location
North Carolina
Its impossible for anyone here to help you. If you're worried about your wifes mental condition you need to have her evaluated by a professional.
 
L

live4kids

New member
Joined
May 17, 2020
Messages
3
Location
USA
She won't go with me to see a specialist. Can you guys at least tell me what kind of mental problem that is?
 
B

Black Despondency

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 29, 2020
Messages
277
Location
United states
I would try to avoid trying to correct her and try some other tactics, if you can think of any you think might work.
Are there any people that she acts as if they can do no wrong treating them as though they are perfect? Or perhaps times when she treats anyone like they are always right?
 
J

Jazzmine84

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2020
Messages
148
Location
Montreal, Canada
It seems like a very difficult situation. Even though many of us have some experience that resonates from what you’re going through, it’s not our place to diagnose your wife. In fact, even a professionnal would request a face to face inquiry before risking one.

What I would suggest however would be to try and find some allies: a doctor, a therapist, a friend that she trust, a mental health support group, or all of the above.

If confronting her doesn’t work. I agree with Black Despondency, it’s time to try something else.

If your situation is as dire as you describe, you might want to think about spending some time apart (if you can). You can’t help her or your mariage if you don’t take care of yourself. Clearly, if you went as far as having suicidal thoughts because of it, YOU need help also. There is some very good therapists who could help you get lots of pressure of your chest, regain some objectivity, gain a new perspective, help you communicate better, receive some referrals or suggestions for your wife.

I know it’s not exactly what you were asking, but I hope it’ll help. Don’t give up, and remember you can always use this forum to let some steam out.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,196
live4kids, this sounds like it's been going on for a while, do you know how long, and was there anything significant that happened just prior to it? May I also ask why you posted this today :hug:
 
L

live4kids

New member
Joined
May 17, 2020
Messages
3
Location
USA
live4kids, this sounds like it's been going on for a while, do you know how long, and was there anything significant that happened just prior to it? May I also ask why you posted this today :hug:
I only noticed her issues when we were newly wed. I didn't get the chance to actually know her personally before our marriage, because of the dating rules of the church where we first met (it's a long story).

At first I was treating her as a normal logical person. That's was the reason I have thought of killing myself. Her insults and verbal abuses are the most hurtful I have ever heard. Her expectations of how people around her should behave is so unreasonable. When I later realized this could be a mental health issue, that's when I started becoming more tolerant of her (plus the thought of my kids growing up and needing me more).

I only posted this because I am still sick of flu and the stress is getting too much for me.
 
J

Jazzmine84

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2020
Messages
148
Location
Montreal, Canada
Whether her condition is a mental health issue or not, I urge you to get help for yourself. Normal life stress and flu doesn’t give you suicidal thoughts. You need moral and psychological support. If not only for yourself, do it for your kids.

I really hope your situation will soon improve.
 
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