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Stuart

New member
Joined
Dec 16, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Liverpool
Hi everyone
New to the forum and never done this before, but as I hardly sleep I thought I’d use the time more usefully.
I’m middle aged in what I suppose some people would consider a good job good family, nice life basically. But I get no enjoyment out of anything and want to isolate myself all the time. I recognise my issues and have sort professional help to no avail. I go to the gym every day to try to alleviate the feelings I have but even that creates a feeling of self loathing as I can’t achieve the results I want. I just have nowhere to turn
 
J

Jezabella

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 14, 2019
Messages
160
Location
Newcastle-Upon-Tyne
Hi Stuart x yeah depression is a pain it’s awful sitting there thinking this should be nice and I should enjoy it but I am just not at all maybe the gym isn’t the right place for you to excersize- you will find something! I can’t actually swim very well but decided to try surfing during a really down period and it helped me so much I actually couldn’t believe it I found something that made me feel and feel good- most of the time I spent the lessons just sitting on the board in the water. I had to go with a 1:1 instructor because obvs if you can’t swim it’s quite high risk and I was feeling pretty suicidal at the time so didn’t want to tempt myself. I used money o could have used wisely but instead I treat myself to an investment in me and it paid off!
 
S

Stuart

New member
Joined
Dec 16, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Liverpool
Thanks for the reply. I really struggle to try new things as I guess it’s easier not to. I prefer my own company as I struggle with social situations. I would like to find happiness but I just don’t know what that feeling is like
 
J

Jezabella

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 14, 2019
Messages
160
Location
Newcastle-Upon-Tyne
I hear you, I struggle with social situations too.... Although I love people.. in small doses mainly. I prefer animals they are much better company! It’s tricky when your down. I find that my brain tells me I don’t deserve or remember or know what it’s like to feel at peace with myself...... never mind others and happiness is elusive. We are all on our own h
Journeys but i try putting one foot infront if the other and when I’m tired I rest if you know what I mean so when I do find myself in a funk I will berate myself and beat myself up but in my journal I have a visual way of telling myself it’s ok and I can forgive forgive myself and get back on my journey x
 
M

Mikaev12

Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
24
Location
Atlanta
Hi.
Sorry to hear about your temporary set back it's a drag. When I feel like this (and I hate it)
I stop and grab my journal and dump until I feel better. Just writing whatever comes to mind. I'll also run up hills to inflict good pain but you may wanna find what works for you
 
S

Stuart

New member
Joined
Dec 16, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Liverpool
Thanks for the reply. The problem is I can’t find anything that gives me pleasure. It’s like being in a state of one emotion.. that of feeling nothing and however much I talk about it nothing seems to help.
 
Ramson mash

Ramson mash

Former member
Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
5,813
Location
U.K
Thanks for the reply. The problem is I can’t find anything that gives me pleasure. It’s like being in a state of one emotion.. that of feeling nothing and however much I talk about it nothing seems to help.
Hi Stuart,
I know its hard to be stuck in depression. Some recommend walks, I would recommend fun and games.
It sounds like you are doing well going to the gym. I honestly think thats one of the best methods. To increase my results i would consider increasing my margin for improvement. So i joined a boxing club. Much like a fitness class, being around others you progress together and are challenged. I was physically sick from doing situps and skipping rope at first but eventually i was on the fast track.
Main thing is being able to relex though. What can i say. Maybe there are things which can help you that you dont know about?

I like gaming. As it helps me to forget. Sometimes we want to focus on something else, something pointless and we can meet like minded people also. Another sign of improvement and progress.
 
S

Stuart

New member
Joined
Dec 16, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Liverpool
Hi
Thanks again for the help. I game as well but I’m starting to feel that this is isolating me from my family and whilst it takes my mind off things, I’m not sure it’s helping me improve. I guess the answer lies in me doing more stuff and hoping something inspires me
 
Ramson mash

Ramson mash

Former member
Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
5,813
Location
U.K
I hope you find it. I was sceptical, actually i was dead against the professional help. But i must say each was an opportunity and a well needed push in the right direction.
I told my co ordinator about my need to improve my relations with family for example.
Am i interested in family therapy? Not really but i gave it a go and did it for my mum.
Good results and my family are noticably happier for it.
 
L

LadyDomino

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2019
Messages
526
Location
Dorset
Excerise helps release the good endorphines which help raise the mood, but I guess it helps if you like the excersie that you've picked. As to not getting the results you hope for - I guess that will happen over time. So keep at it
 
J

Jezabella

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 14, 2019
Messages
160
Location
Newcastle-Upon-Tyne
I have gone from being a total technophobe (I didn’t even have a TV and used a Nokia brick for at least 4 years) to spending 3/4 hours playing games on the switch. I was just disscussing this tonight with my partner as I WONT have a tv in the bedroom.... when I’m well having a good hour with NO blue light helps me to get a restful sleep. Lots of Tech isn’t good as the blue light from screens stops your brain producing melatonin however we decided it’s like when your going through a major episode and you can’t be bothered to eat- I usually pretty much survive on almonds and apples or sweets when I’m like this.... any food is better than nothing. Games help you to tune into something outside your head so it’s helpful while your down..... maybe talk to your family about this or find some games you can play together...... and get some chewable melatonin to help your brain counteract all the screen time x
 

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