- May 14, 2019
- North Carolina
I’ve been struggling with unhealthy eating habits for the majority of my life, and college has worsened it. I’ve tried to develop and “i don’t care i’ll eat anything fuck an eating disorder” lifestyle and it’s backfiring. i’m so incredibly anxious and self conscious of my body. i eat fast food two to three times a week because i don’t have a kitchen to cook here and i have a very loving partner who encourages me to eat but it’s just too much for me. i want to relapse and just stop eating but they’d notice if i did. i want to get skinny again and lose weight and be beautiful, or at least my own fucked up version of beautiful, and it’s frustrating. i know the easy solution is to eat healthier and go to the gym but the way i’m feeling right now is just awful. i doubt i’ve gained that much weight but every time i eat i can feel the food in my stomach for hours after and i can’t help but constantly focus on my “double chin” and stomach when honestly there’s nothing even there. i’m frustrated and tired and i just want to be skinny and i don’t know why i’m posting this but i just want to cry.