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need help

ninarose

ninarose

Active member
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
27
Location
North Carolina
I’ve been struggling with unhealthy eating habits for the majority of my life, and college has worsened it. I’ve tried to develop and “i don’t care i’ll eat anything fuck an eating disorder” lifestyle and it’s backfiring. i’m so incredibly anxious and self conscious of my body. i eat fast food two to three times a week because i don’t have a kitchen to cook here and i have a very loving partner who encourages me to eat but it’s just too much for me. i want to relapse and just stop eating but they’d notice if i did. i want to get skinny again and lose weight and be beautiful, or at least my own fucked up version of beautiful, and it’s frustrating. i know the easy solution is to eat healthier and go to the gym but the way i’m feeling right now is just awful. i doubt i’ve gained that much weight but every time i eat i can feel the food in my stomach for hours after and i can’t help but constantly focus on my “double chin” and stomach when honestly there’s nothing even there. i’m frustrated and tired and i just want to be skinny and i don’t know why i’m posting this but i just want to cry.
 
P

PsychoPrince

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 22, 2019
Messages
128
Location
Indy
I also encourage you to keep eating Ninarose, and it's perfectly okay to cry. I think you do have a reason for posting this though. You acted on the hope that this may help, so you were hoping for something. Is there a specific issue you're hoping to work on today? I'm all ears.
 
J

Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
1,531
Location
Florida
So you are feeling guilty about eating too much. I want to be skinny too. I was all my life until I hit middle age. I am trying to eat raw vegetables And I keep burping. Hate that. Tacos for dinner tonight with fresh tomatoes and onions I can get that down okay. I had a tuna sub for lunch with fresh tomatoes very good Just eating the raw red pepper got to me. I know how you feel. I always feel like throwing up what I ate. Makes me sick. If you do not have cooking where you live what do you do? Microwave things? Fast food restaurants have some good food with low calories. Taco Bell Wendys Mcdonalds and so on.
 
ninarose

ninarose

Active member
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
27
Location
North Carolina
I also encourage you to keep eating Ninarose, and it's perfectly okay to cry. I think you do have a reason for posting this though. You acted on the hope that this may help, so you were hoping for something. Is there a specific issue you're hoping to work on today? I'm all ears.

I don't know how to motivate myself to do the things I need to and how to stop reacting so badly and harshly towards myself when I eat :( and I also just wanted to vent, I scheduled an appointment with my college therapy center so that will be helpful but I'm stuck in this very moment.
 
ninarose

ninarose

Active member
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
27
Location
North Carolina
So you are feeling guilty about eating too much. I want to be skinny too. I was all my life until I hit middle age. I am trying to eat raw vegetables And I keep burping. Hate that. Tacos for dinner tonight with fresh tomatoes and onions I can get that down okay. I had a tuna sub for lunch with fresh tomatoes very good Just eating the raw red pepper got to me. I know how you feel. I always feel like throwing up what I ate. Makes me sick. If you do not have cooking where you live what do you do? Microwave things? Fast food restaurants have some good food with low calories. Taco Bell Wendys Mcdonalds and so on.
That sounds like a good dinner!! I usually eat at the dining hall or fast food, and I'm a late teens girl so my eating disorder is more about the psychological aspect than actual weight gain, so eating any form of fast food makes me really sad because, in my head, fast food=unhealthy=immediately getting fat. I know it's not realistic and there are healthy options for me to eat but I just am frustrated because I was doing so well for a while before these negative behaviors started occurring again. Best of luck to you and thank you for your response!!
 
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