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Need Help with anxious obsessive thoughts please

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Tony214

Member
Joined
Nov 9, 2020
Messages
7
Location
USA
Hi everybody. New here. I was diagnosed w OCD not that long ago and struggle with depression and anxiety. Long story short I had some issues w my wife in July where we were separated for the month. Got back together and things are going pretty well. I have this innate fear though, that I cannot shake, that the marriage will end in divorce. This is because I keep seeing the word divorce EVERYWHERE I LOOK all the time. My therapist says it’s like confirmation bias where we scan for the threat etc and look for it. Sort of like when you buy a red car and start seeing red cars everywhere. I’m seeing the word in movies , in things I read, hearing it on the radio etc and it is freaking me out as I internalize it as some sort of sign my marriage will end. This can’t be true and I need some input and help please. Please. I am struggling hard with this and it sends me into panic every time I see it. Thank you.
 
dontknowwhattodowithoutyou

dontknowwhattodowithoutyou

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 22, 2020
Messages
59
Location
<3
Hi Tony,
you seem to be struggling from magical thinking! Indeed, what you experience also sounds like confirmation bias. It is all just coincidence. Did you have this fear with other words before?

Why do you rationally assume your marriage will not work out? Did you have negative experiences in the past?
 
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Tony214

Member
Joined
Nov 9, 2020
Messages
7
Location
USA
Hi Tony,
you seem to be struggling from magical thinking! Indeed, what you experience also sounds like confirmation bias. It is all just coincidence. Did you have this fear with other words before?

Why do you rationally assume your marriage will not work out? Did you have negative experiences in the past?
Thank you so much for your input it means a lot to hear that. I never have before this is my first time. It’s been scary to say the least for me as my mind spirals when it sees the word.
 
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Tony214

Member
Joined
Nov 9, 2020
Messages
7
Location
USA
Thank you so much for your input it means a lot to hear that. I never have before this is my first time. It’s been scary to say the least for me as my mind spirals when it sees the word.
I was separated from my wife for the month of July as we had some issues with our marriage. Just tired from mental health and time in the Army wore us both down.
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
679
Location
California, US
I look at my own sticky thoughts and say, "ah! Brain is trying to protect me from potential threats by seeing patterns where none exist."

The message is sent but I don't have "accept delivery" of the emotions that follow the thoughts.

Because thoughts aren't facts.

"Ah. Thinking about divorce again. Hmm. Ok. What else is going on?"
 
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dhs94

Member
Joined
Sep 16, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Los Angeles, CA
I'm not married, but I do know intrusive thoughts can be very stressful and scary and I'm sure in the context of something that is so near and dear to you it's hard. I think it's really important to not only keep seeing your therapist about this and discussing it with them, but to include your wife in on the process. Let her know that she may need to give you a little extra reassurance. And that's ok!
 
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