K
keith74
Well-known member
In my prior thread, I talked about how I abandoned the "tough love" approach and opened up to my wife.
www.mentalhealthforum.net
It was going pretty well for 3 days. Good, positive communication. Then we had a super major setback. She completely unloaded on me, saying I was a failure of a husband, we are totally not compatible, she wants a divorce as soon as possible, I abandoned her, how could I make her stay in a hospital?, we have no future, etc... It was brutal. Something must have happened that led her mind to a bad place. Last time she did this, I did the silent treatment to protect my sanity and because she told me to never talk to her again. After a long stretch of silence, she since apologized for her behavior and said I did the right thing (this was several days ago). We started communication again and it was going good. But then tonight during her verbal rampage, she held my silent treatment against me saying that it is proof I abandoned her and not fit to be a reliable husband.
I'm now torn what to do this time. Should I reason that she hit a very bad bump in the road right now and continue to reach out to her or pick up her calls despite her being currently hostile to me, so she doesn't accuse me of abandonment again? Or should I take another breather (silence) even though she may feel abandoned again?

Does "tough love" work for someone who is manic?
My wife is going through a manic episode. Throughout all this, her sister (who has dealt with her past manic episodes) is insisting that the "tough love" approach is recommended. Basically refuse to engage her unless she accepts her diagnosis and gets back on her full medication. Her sister says...

It was going pretty well for 3 days. Good, positive communication. Then we had a super major setback. She completely unloaded on me, saying I was a failure of a husband, we are totally not compatible, she wants a divorce as soon as possible, I abandoned her, how could I make her stay in a hospital?, we have no future, etc... It was brutal. Something must have happened that led her mind to a bad place. Last time she did this, I did the silent treatment to protect my sanity and because she told me to never talk to her again. After a long stretch of silence, she since apologized for her behavior and said I did the right thing (this was several days ago). We started communication again and it was going good. But then tonight during her verbal rampage, she held my silent treatment against me saying that it is proof I abandoned her and not fit to be a reliable husband.
I'm now torn what to do this time. Should I reason that she hit a very bad bump in the road right now and continue to reach out to her or pick up her calls despite her being currently hostile to me, so she doesn't accuse me of abandonment again? Or should I take another breather (silence) even though she may feel abandoned again?