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Need Help Coping



New member
May 1, 2020
So I guess I should introduce myself. I am a middle aged male. I NEVER share my feelings with anyone as I feel mostly everyone has problems and no one cares to hear about it. However, at this point the feelings inside are getting to a point where I can’t really control them anymore. When most people see me at a glance they see a somewhat successful individual. I have been pretty lucky and somewhat accomplished in my professional career. However, upon a deeper evaluation you would see emptiness. My wife has multiple severe medical conditions that are very concerning. Due to this conditions we are unable to have kids and I am not sure that adoption would even be possible. My wife’s medical situation creates a lot of stress in my life and leaves me feeling pretty empty. No matter how successful I am professionally it doesn’t fill the void left from my personal life. I am truly concerned that my wife may not live as long as I do leaving me completely alone, a thought that gives me extreme anxiety and fear. Further, one of her conditions could have a BIG impact in our lives in the very near future. This potential change could be devastating to us.
Further, recently I learned that my father has a heart condition that is concerning. He is honestly my best friend. Losing my parents is something else that concerns me as they are a few of the last people who really truly care for me. I know they are getting older, but honestly I am not sure if I could handle my wife’s situation without their support.
All of these things are starting to compound for me and leaving me feeling rather hopeless at the present time. I feel like I really shouldn’t be complaining. I know things are somewhat okay now, but I just don’t see much hope for my future. I am sorry to ramble and whine...I just really kind of needed to get these feelings out and am hoping this might provide me some relief. Thank you for taking the time to listen and sorry if I sound whiny.


Well-known member
May 5, 2020
Montreal, Canada
I don’t think you‘re whiny. It’s very normal when your life might get upside down and big losses are anticipated to feel overwelmed with all sorts of feelings. I would even say that your mind is bracing for impact. You brain knows that there is a good chance that you’ll be hurt soon and it just wants to prepare you for the eventuality. I think it’s very good that you’ve decided to open up about it. That’s the best first steps to cope with those situations.

You might have a couple of rough patch to overcome in the future, so my best advice would be, don’t hesitate to ask for help. It takes a lot of strenght to do that and it won’t just help yourself, it will make it easier to help those you care and love, like your wife and father.

Welcome to the forum and write as much as you need. We are a big crowd, all supporting one another, because we know and understand what’s it’s like to be struggling.
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