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Need help, can’t stop eating

A

Antwire

New member
Joined
Jul 8, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Warrington
So I’ve always been bigger than I should be but in the last 10 years I’ve gone from 17 stone to 25.

I fascinate about food, I drive past a shop and think “they sell that” then I go and buy it all and eat it all. For example I could easily got to Morrison’s and buy 12 doughnuts, a sausage barm, bacon barn and a sandwich meal deal Then eat it all in the car on the way home and then come home and eat something else.

yesterday I did the above and then for lunch I had 20 chicken nuggets, a large qaurter pounder meal and a double cheese burger then later in the day I had a pizza with garlic bread, onion rings and cookie dough.

I litteraley never feel full and never feel hungry.

a few years ago I was lucky and got onto afitness programme the local authority was running which was 12 weeks of boot camps 3 times per week and I got down to 20 stone and really enjoyed life. (I was lucky enough to do the programme twice)

but then politics got in the way and I didn’t feel welcome there.

move tried joining gyms but I got 2 or 3 times. I always feel embarrassed.

I got into running and ran a few 10ks but then I hurt my shoulder and I can’t get back going, I always feel embarrassed the minute I see someone else walking.

ive been to the GP many times over the years and told them I feel like an alcoholic would but with food, I was referred to a lifestyle programme but it’s one where after a few weeks they don’t want to be seeing you every week.

I went back to the GP and was givenn Prozac but that didn’t work either. I’ve also taken orlistat on and off over the years with no joy.

I joined slimming world for 18 months and put 2 stone on.

I paid to go private and see a physiatrist but after 3 appointments all he was getting me to do was fill in food diaries so I didn’t go back.

I really don’t know what else to do, I feel like I’ll never beat this and no one will ever understand my problem or be able to help me.
I have a young daughter and I’m embarrassed to be out with her, I can’t fit on any rides at theme parks with her and it’s horrible.

I feel shame, I know I need to do something but I just can’t motivate myself to do anything.

I’m worried I won’t be here for my family but I just can’t make my brain click and stop me doing stupid stuff.

Has anyone ever known anyone this stupid and can anyone offer and advice?

thank you
 
lyesander

lyesander

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jul 4, 2020
Messages
156
Location
USA
I've dealt with food related issues, but in from the opposite direction. Something I've found extremely helpful is having a regular nutritionist you can consult with each week to check and go over your progress, as well as a therapist specializing in disordered eating.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
3,669
Location
England
Hello Antwire. Welcome to the forum. I just want to start by saying, you are not stupid. I am wondering if you have binge eating disorder. I have it myself and can relate to what you have written. There is very little help out there as it is so misunderstood. People will say to reduce food or exercise. That is not possible for us and no help at all. What I found helpful was therapy. I was able to understand why I kept eating. Once I had more understanding, the binges were less.

For people who binge eat we are never meant to reduce food or go hungry. I was told to have three meals a day and two snacks. I really do sympathise with how you are feeling. There is so much shame around this but it is not your fault.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
4,145
Location
Nashua NH
I agree with bpd in that this is not your fault and you should not feel shame about it. Other people do not have to manage these pulls and urges. We do. This is something that makes us different in a way that others might not understand. But it doesn’t make us bad people. I don’t know what the “cure” is for this disorder. I think if they had one that was effective then a whole lot of people would be happier and healthier now. I admire the hard work you have done on this and also your struggles. Please know that you are not alone. ❤💕
 
A

Antwire

New member
Joined
Jul 8, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Warrington
Thank you, how did you get diagnosed? I’ve been told I might be depressed which I probably am but it’s a side effect of my eating so I need to fix the route cause and no one seems to know how to do that
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
4,145
Location
Nashua NH
Thank you, how did you get diagnosed? I’ve been told I might be depressed which I probably am but it’s a side effect of my eating so I need to fix the route cause and no one seems to know how to do that
Isn’t it strange that in this modern time no one seems to know how to fix binge eating/overeating?
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
3,669
Location
England
Thank you, how did you get diagnosed? I’ve been told I might be depressed which I probably am but it’s a side effect of my eating so I need to fix the route cause and no one seems to know how to do that
I was seeing a psychiatrist who referred me to an eating disorder clinic. They diagnosed me and offered me therapy. It could be you are depressed and eating to comfort yourself. Perhaps you could go to your doctor and say you think you have an eating disorder and need treatment? If not, you can find therapists online who specialise in eating disorders.
 
T

TheHeartHasAVoice

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 14, 2020
Messages
291
Location
Australia
So I’ve always been bigger than I should be but in the last 10 years I’ve gone from 17 stone to 25.

I fascinate about food, I drive past a shop and think “they sell that” then I go and buy it all and eat it all. For example I could easily got to Morrison’s and buy 12 doughnuts, a sausage barm, bacon barn and a sandwich meal deal Then eat it all in the car on the way home and then come home and eat something else.

yesterday I did the above and then for lunch I had 20 chicken nuggets, a large qaurter pounder meal and a double cheese burger then later in the day I had a pizza with garlic bread, onion rings and cookie dough.

I litteraley never feel full and never feel hungry.

a few years ago I was lucky and got onto afitness programme the local authority was running which was 12 weeks of boot camps 3 times per week and I got down to 20 stone and really enjoyed life. (I was lucky enough to do the programme twice)

but then politics got in the way and I didn’t feel welcome there.

move tried joining gyms but I got 2 or 3 times. I always feel embarrassed.

I got into running and ran a few 10ks but then I hurt my shoulder and I can’t get back going, I always feel embarrassed the minute I see someone else walking.

ive been to the GP many times over the years and told them I feel like an alcoholic would but with food, I was referred to a lifestyle programme but it’s one where after a few weeks they don’t want to be seeing you every week.

I went back to the GP and was givenn Prozac but that didn’t work either. I’ve also taken orlistat on and off over the years with no joy.

I joined slimming world for 18 months and put 2 stone on.

I paid to go private and see a physiatrist but after 3 appointments all he was getting me to do was fill in food diaries so I didn’t go back.

I really don’t know what else to do, I feel like I’ll never beat this and no one will ever understand my problem or be able to help me.
I have a young daughter and I’m embarrassed to be out with her, I can’t fit on any rides at theme parks with her and it’s horrible.

I feel shame, I know I need to do something but I just can’t motivate myself to do anything.

I’m worried I won’t be here for my family but I just can’t make my brain click and stop me doing stupid stuff.

Has anyone ever known anyone this stupid and can anyone offer and advice?

thank you
Hi there. I'm really saddened to hear of your issue. I can relate and I will pass on what I have learnt.

I will start by giving you a detailed answer but at the end I will give a very very simple answer.

My detailed answer:
First of all please don't feel guilty because after experiencing this issue myself you aren't to blame for this. That might sound strange but a lot of this is an environmental and political issue. It is very very very difficult to resist the urges that are found in the environment with fast food and convenience. These companies deliberately taste test their foods and custom design them with artificial enhancers and additives and that way they become basically irresistible. Will power isn't enough for this demon.

I can tell you to combat this beast sustainably you will need a Strategy. A well thought out plan. It's not necessarily about exercise and dietary manipulation anymore.

It is unfortunate that we have to do this as this wasn't a problem in recent history but I guess we have to survive. The only other alternative that comes to my mind is to leave cities/lands that allow these environmental issues. I am actually making a slow transition to do so as it is better for me personally.

Our brains aren't built for ultra emotional convenience. What's happening is basically corporations targeting our emotions at an extreme never seen before which is so typical because they do it in nearly every industry these days.

Just remember, this is simply a problem. For true sustainable solutions problems simply need time and attention.

The following points are what I practice in my struggle so far and I have had excellent progress but I am not yet at the top of the mountain.

1. Cut roots with the medium of access

Example: Put locks on your fridge if you have to. You can get a pantry lock online, they work on fridges too. Then give the key to someone you trust who will cooperate with you. Your medium of access is also your credit card or bank card. These are a form of ultra convenience that history has never seen. Have a different system of accessing money or give the cards to someone you can trust who understands your issue and wants to cooperate with you. You can easily get rid of your bank cards and simply use cash or save in a money tin etc. The main point is to limit the convenient access to what is allowing these companies to take advantage of your urges. So just make your access difficult or impossible.

In recent history they changed money from gold to paper/plastic. You couldn't carry around that much gold. But now with paper and digital money and even money you don't own (credit cards) people are finding it hard because their emotions take over. This happens with any form of extreme convenience.

I know it does get to the point where you feel this won't stop but it definitely can I can assure you of that because I have been through this myself although It is not over for me yet.

These companies know what they are doing and they are very selfish. Sharp minded but deceiving and outright evil. In my country there are now tiny warning signs on some chocolates which I have never seen before.

The foods you talk about are not found in nature and that's why they are irresistible. They are processed in a way that hasn't been done in history.

2. Invite physical activity as an inbuilt part of your lifestyle. (Pull not push)

A lot of people exercise with the frame of mind that it is an added burden, annoying or whatever. When that is the case, it's hard to stick to it. I went through this myself. Exercise wasn't actually an issue in recent history because it was in-built into life naturally.

For me things changed when I analyzed my physical activity and resources of convenience. For example I have recently decided mutually with my wife that I will no longer be driving to the local grocery store. Most times now I will walk by myself. That very simple decision has already done a lot for me. Why? because it has added a consistency of physical activity. We all need to get the groceries consistently. Sustainable and true change is build upon consistency.

So f I'm driving I'm cosistently doing much less calorie burning then if I walk. But with this change I have basically invited more physical activity and it has the added benefit of being a consistent action and in-built into my life. It is not something I have to do as a burden (I'm not pushing myself to do this, rather my excitement of tasting something healthy and beautiful pulls me to the store).

Also by doing this I get vitamin D from the sun which supports sleep which then supports a healthy sleep/wake cycle and also helps you lose weight. Sleep has a lot of recovery systems in it so it will help immensely especially with muscle growth and stress.

If walking isn't something you are interested in, then you can always do this at home. Instead of using the microwave, warm food on a pan/pot whatever. Any movement you add will add up to your total daily movement levels which burns calories. If you have a young child, carry them around as it builds muscle tone.

3. Do some accounting.
I don't count calories but if you want to you can. Recently however I have put a paper on my fridge called "Food control point".

At the top I write a log of food I take daily. But I only log certain food categories that are known to be the biggest contributors to weight gain. These seem to be certain carbohydrates and sugars which have a high impact on blood sugar levels and the speed of their rise and fall. These categories are easy to find out if you want I can tell you them.

Now the bottom part of that paper has the actual daily limits I have set for myself personally. For example, for milk I have set no more that 500mL a day. Milk seems to bloat me sometimes. There is nothing wrong with it for me but let's just say my body wants less now and I respect that. So I don't exceed that limit.

I have found this form of accounting helpful for the foods I seemed to be indulging too much in.

When you have some type of awareness of what you are consuming I have personally found it to help.

4. Distract yourself from this habit and replace it with a new one
When my daughter is lost in play she doesn't remember to eat. Scientifically, there is a link between mood and energy. Anyway, she enjoys herself and doesn't feel hunger. This is basically a harmless appetite suppressant. When people aren't doing challening things they can resort to comfort eating I know because I do this sometimes. But remember it is important to find a new habit you enjoy that replaces the bad habit because like I said there is a link between mood and energy. If you replace a bad habit with something that gives you positive moods, you will have a lot of energy to keep performing that habit and actually be pulled towards it instead of you having to find the motivation to do it.

For me I do things that I'm good at like computer programming for charitable causes and other stuff.

5. Understand the nature of food

This one is basically about education. Different foods work in the body in different ways. Some foods you shouldn't eat too much. Some you shouldn't eat at all. Some are very very addictive. Some are artificially enhanced to make you addicted. I didn't find it too complicated to learn and I'm happy to help you if you want.

Once you understand the nature of food and what true food actually is, it makes it easier to make better choices and to know who is actually taking advantage of you for their own corporate greed.

I have more to say but I'll stop there for now.

I just wanted to say this situation wasn't really a problem until industrialization and the excessive abuse of machinery and information technology etc. Combine that with capitalism and legal business practices that actually should be illegal, I want to tell you please, please don't blame yourself but simply be aware that this is a political problem in my opinion. And for me I honestly feel like an innocent victim, not a criminal.

My simple answer:
Live naturally. The way we were designed to live. The way we originally lived.


I hope that helps.
 
P

Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
961
Location
U.S.
You are probably using food to replace feelings. Those could be loneliness, boredom, sadness, anxiety or many others. You would need to find healthier ways to express and relieve those feelings.

Also, did you used to restrict yourself --foodwise -- in the past? Sometimes that could lead to a reversal which is a survival mechanism of our bodies.
 
K

katwomyn3

Member
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
20
Location
Los angeles
I also agree with bpd, you have done all the right things to be physically active to combat your weight. From your post, I don't get the feeling you have tried to find the foundation of your eating habits. You diet and you exercise like anyone else would, but you still find this, sorry for the lack of a better word, compulsion to eat. You described it as not being hungry or full, then you must realize by now it is not a physical need. Therapy, as bpd has pointed out, is an avenue to explore. It is understandable you want results first to ease how ashamed you feel. But through therapy you can explore why you need to use to fill a void or need you are trying to meet. Because that is how you are using food. Someone else will use alcohol, drugs or sex to fill that void. It is a slow process, but without exploring this, fad diets and mad cardio/exercise you won't be able to get to the root. Therapy is hard work, and its not something you can show to your loved ones as progress they may want to see. But, I am sure they love you and want you to stop being angry with yourself. They want to see you love yourself and be happy. But without understanding why you do the things you do, you will not be able to fight the shame you feel. Your shame is not a part of you or who you are. You are a mother, who loves her children, there is a person in you that deserves to love themselves as much as you can love anyone else whole-heartedly. Believe in the hard word it takes to get there. We live in a culture in which we see the before and after like its nothing, and it is not that way. You owe it to yourself to put the effort you nurturing your family into yourself.
 
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