Need help and support!

S

Steve81

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Joined
Jun 14, 2018
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1
#1
Hi, this is the first time I've posted in a forum, alone spoke about my problems.
I've been with my partner for 19 years, we have 3 daughters together, and for a time, things were great.
Over the last few years, she's become very controlling and manipulative. I cant seem to do anything right, she picks fault with what I do, who I talk to, what I wear and even how I style my hair =( She dictates when I eat, and what time I go to bed. If I confront her, she shouts me down, brings up things from the past, (when I was 18, I slept with someone else, I'm now 36) she also likes to berate me in front of the kids.
I feel so alone =( And because she makes me feel like I've always done something wrong, I thinks friends and people I know are angry with me =(
 
calypso

calypso

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#2
Hiya and welcome to the forum. I think you need urgent help with your problems

there is an organisation called ManKind.org.uk which deals with domestic abuse suffered by menand can help a lot. If you are not UK then there must be something in your country I would suspect. Even so you might find help from this group.

YOu are suffering from abuse and you are not all the things she is saying to you and about you. It is classic behaviour of an abuser and more common in women than we like to think. I think you need help and soon.
 
Last edited:
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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#3
Hi,
It isn't healthy to live this way, you need to consider leaving her. Please take the kids with you.
Ideally you should get help like Calypso suggested from a domestic violence charity.
It isn't fair for the kids to see what is happening.
Keep a diary for evidence of what she does.
I hope you escape the abuse.
Do let us know how you get on.
Take care
 
S

silly me

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#4
Hi, this is the first time I've posted in a forum, alone spoke about my problems.
I've been with my partner for 19 years, we have 3 daughters together, and for a time, things were great.
Over the last few years, she's become very controlling and manipulative. I cant seem to do anything right, she picks fault with what I do, who I talk to, what I wear and even how I style my hair =( She dictates when I eat, and what time I go to bed. If I confront her, she shouts me down, brings up things from the past, (when I was 18, I slept with someone else, I'm now 36) she also likes to berate me in front of the kids.
I feel so alone =( And because she makes me feel like I've always done something wrong, I thinks friends and people I know are angry with me =(
Jeez, Steve..

Just reading about this situation.. My gawd.. What an awful place to be.

I was there quite a few times in my life, to the point where it all felt "normal"?

I'm a woman, but it doesn't matter.. abuse is abuse. It takes a lot of courage for you to come forth and talk about.

But even at your age, you're ahead of the curve regarding asking for help.. I was so "caught up" in my abusers - trying to keep them happy? I thought i was wrong for asking for support. Let alone, saying anything to anyone about it.

You're on the right track, Pete.

Over here in the US, there's Al-Anon, and Coda.. Those are free 12 step programs for people in abusive relationships (Coda), or partners of alcoholics (Al Anon), etc.. I was a member of both for quite a while many years ago, even when i moved around in the country.

Keep us updated, and welcome to the forum!

:welcome:
 
R_Sxo

R_Sxo

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Apr 24, 2017
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#5
Hi Steve,

Sorry to hear what you're going through. This isn't a healthy situation at all, and her insecurity and poor mental wellbeing is unfortunately the main cause of this. She desperately needs help, whether she accepts it or not, and as a partner, I've recently learned you can request some kind of mental health assessment for her, although someone else will probably be better versed than I am on this. I think you should consider leaving, atleast for now, because this is an abusive environmentx

Much love <3