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  • Thread starter Wishes4Rainbows
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Wishes4Rainbows

Wishes4Rainbows

New member
Joined
Aug 4, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Wonderland
Hi, I'm new here.

This is really out of my realm of comfort to join an online forum, yet I can't take the isolation in my real life anymore. I recently broke off with an emotionally abusive ex. On top of the emotional abuse, I was severely invalidated for my diagnosed MH issues (ptsd, social anxiety). I have dissociation as a complication of my ptsd diagnosis, it's not all the time that it happens, mostly only on stressful/emotionally draining days, which lately has been way too many days in a row.

I occasionally have several days where I feel like my personality 'splits', and I will act totally out of character, which compounds my social anxiety every time it happens. I'm scared to get a professional opinion on this, as it sounds kind of like I'm developing dissociative identity disorder, I really hope it's just extreme stress though. I will occasionally converse with other 'personalities', although I kind of feel like it's just different characters I made up to kill the depression that has been developing for 1.5+ years now due to my isolation and invalidation, plus my inability to socialize very much due to my social anxiety.
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
5,698
Location
Norway
Hi Wishes4Rainbows, welcome to the forums :welcome:

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. I think you should definitely seek some professional help. It's really hard, but dealing with these issues without help will only make them worse with time. I can relate to your social anxiety and depression, I've been struggling with it since childhood. I'm bipolar and many years ago during a manic episode I had a similar dissociative experience, I can't say I conversed with different personalities but I definitely felt like I was two different persons in one body.
 
Wishes4Rainbows

Wishes4Rainbows

New member
Joined
Aug 4, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Wonderland
I think you're right.

I've been trying to do therapy, though I never mention my dissociation symptoms. I feel like my issues with social anxiety/ptsd are kind of being brushed off. I have moved to a quieter neighbourhood where I should feel more at peace, and even here my brain is in fight/flight/freeze mode all day long. I even feel scared to take my medication now, as I feel like I'm being watched/judged for taking it, even though logically I can conclude it's a ridiculous thought.

I wanted to wait until this pandemic calms down before trying to admit myself into the hospital for a bit, though now I'm doubting if I can hold out that long.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
7,892
Location
Nashua NH
Hi there, Wishes, I love your profile pic and username. It sounds like you have been suffering and struggling alone on your own for awhile now. I’m glad you found us so you can get some support. Welcome aboard! xo, j
 
S

Shay94

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
473
Location
Balga. Perth
Welcome, I'm sorry to hear of your struggles. I hope you can get the help you need & feel free to msg me if you need to talk or anything like that
 
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