• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

E

eo1711

Member
Joined
Jul 19, 2020
Messages
9
Location
UK
Hi everyone,
I’m not really sure where to start or if I’m posting in the right place. I’m not posting for myself. My fiancé has struggled with his mental health since the beginning of his teens, he is now 21. He has depression and anxiety. It’s always been bad since I’ve known him, but recently it’s getting so much worse. He is suffering with a lot of health issues too (some of which he gets embarrassed by), which he has been to the GP about, tests have been done, however the GP has come to the conclusion that they are all caused by his anxiety and just left him to deal with it himself, whereas my fiancé believes the doctor is incorrect. The GP also gave him antidepressants (which was literally it, no other offer of help) but my fiancé has stopped taking them. These health issues have made his mental health so much worse and he feels he can no longer go to work. His mum lives over an hour away from us and is trying to help but she’s being pushy and it’s stressing him out even more. I feel like I’m on my own in supporting him and it’s really difficult because I don’t know what else I can do to help him. I’m worried it’s just going to get worse and worse. I don’t know where to go from here. He gets quite irritated and angry at the smallest things, so even talking about trying to get help stresses him out. He refuses to go back to the GP, to see a therapist or to go to a specialist clinic for the health issues he’s experiencing. I really don’t know what I can do to help, it worries me so much and he won’t talk to me or anyone. I’m just asking here to maybe get some advice from people who are going through/have been through a similar thing to him so I can help him better. It breaks my heart that he is going through something so bad and if nothing is done I know it’s only going to get even worse, but I’m at a standstill now and I don’t know what to do to help him. If anyone has any advice at all, it would be so greatly appreciated.
E x
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
17,933
Location
England
Hi,
Welcome to the forum, his Gp didn't sound very supportive.
It's a shame he won't try another GP, he needs help and sometimes people who are mentally ill can't see that.
You could ask a different Gp to do a referral for a mental health assessment.
My family did that with me I am better now, I forgave them.
I hope he gets better.
You take care and look after yourself to.
Hugs
 
E

eo1711

Member
Joined
Jul 19, 2020
Messages
9
Location
UK
Hi,
Welcome to the forum, his Gp didn't sound very supportive.
It's a shame he won't try another GP, he needs help and sometimes people who are mentally ill can't see that.
You could ask a different Gp to do a referral for a mental health assessment.
My family did that with me I am better now, I forgave them.
I hope he gets better.
You take care and look after yourself to.
Hugs
Thank you so much for your reply :) We live in a really rural area where there’s only a few gps in the surgery so I’m not sure what they could do but I will look into it. Thank you, I’m glad you’re doing better now
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
419
Location
Philippines
Aside from seeing another GP, it would be good if you do a music therapy for him. There are a lot of good music in youtube.

These are the helpful songs from youtube:

Overcomer by Mandisa
Fearless by Jasmine Murray
Good Morning by Mandisa
Don't worry be happy by Bob Marley
I believe I can fly by R Kelly

I listen to them everyday. And they help me think and feel better.

Another thing that would be helpful is exercise with good music.

Remember, what your fiance is going through is not permanent. It will soon pass.
 
E

eo1711

Member
Joined
Jul 19, 2020
Messages
9
Location
UK
Aside from seeing another GP, it would be good if you do a music therapy for him. There are a lot of good music in youtube.

These are the helpful songs from youtube:

Overcomer by Mandisa
Fearless by Jasmine Murray
Good Morning by Mandisa
Don't worry be happy by Bob Marley
I believe I can fly by R Kelly

I listen to them everyday. And they help me think and feel better.

Another thing that would be helpful is exercise with good music.

Remember, what your fiance is going through is not permanent. It will soon pass.
I will suggest this to him, it might help a lot actually. At the moment exercise is difficult to do, due to his physical health issues and my disability, we both end up in a lot of pain even just from a short walk but we try to do it every so often. Thank you so much for your help and reassurance, I really appreciate it :)
 
Z

Zenobia

Active member
Joined
Jul 18, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Canada
What you're going through is probably what my husband went through when I had my breakdown. Looking back, I kept talking about the same things, over & over, & not really hearing his reply. Maybe talking to other spouses of anxiety & depression people would help. Not sure how to find them. Google, I guess. I know my community has stuff for family of mentally ill.
 
L

Lizaje

Guest
I'd ask a doctor, someone who will tell you what to do. He also needs to cooperate and you shouldn't take it on your responsibility if he refuses to help himself.
 
J

Julie41

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 12, 2020
Messages
178
Location
Peterborough uk
Hi everyone,
I’m not really sure where to start or if I’m posting in the right place. I’m not posting for myself. My fiancé has struggled with his mental health since the beginning of his teens, he is now 21. He has depression and anxiety. It’s always been bad since I’ve known him, but recently it’s getting so much worse. He is suffering with a lot of health issues too (some of which he gets embarrassed by), which he has been to the GP about, tests have been done, however the GP has come to the conclusion that they are all caused by his anxiety and just left him to deal with it himself, whereas my fiancé believes the doctor is incorrect. The GP also gave him antidepressants (which was literally it, no other offer of help) but my fiancé has stopped taking them. These health issues have made his mental health so much worse and he feels he can no longer go to work. His mum lives over an hour away from us and is trying to help but she’s being pushy and it’s stressing him out even more. I feel like I’m on my own in supporting him and it’s really difficult because I don’t know what else I can do to help him. I’m worried it’s just going to get worse and worse. I don’t know where to go from here. He gets quite irritated and angry at the smallest things, so even talking about trying to get help stresses him out. He refuses to go back to the GP, to see a therapist or to go to a specialist clinic for the health issues he’s experiencing. I really don’t know what I can do to help, it worries me so much and he won’t talk to me or anyone. I’m just asking here to maybe get some advice from people who are going through/have been through a similar thing to him so I can help him better. It breaks my heart that he is going through something so bad and if nothing is done I know it’s only going to get even worse, but I’m at a standstill now and I don’t know what to do to help him. If anyone has any advice at all, it would be so greatly appreciated.
E x
hi
I suffer with anxiety & depression and I’m on medication but I still have awful days
When I’m anxious & stressed I go onto YouTube and look for any relaxation and mindfulness videos ( it’s all free) lay on my bed & just listen ( the sleep ones are good too) breathing & distraction methods can help too. Music also helps with mood problems- you are trying so hard for him but ultimately he needs to want to help himself . CBT is worth trying and free on the nhs even though there will be a waiting list but you can self refer yourself on line- some GP’s just aren’t bothered others are great - does he have lots of physical symptoms that come alongside his anxiety as l have many - for me these make me so worse
He is entitled to help from his GP and mental health team - please keep trying
Hope he improves x
 
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