- Mar 17, 2019
- North Carolina
This may not be the place for this. But I'll start off by saying I have bipolar 1 disorder and avoidant personality disorder. My boyfriend has mild autism. And I'm not even sure that's relevant at this point. But I guess it is. I've never been on my own as far as living alone/being independent. I have lived with my mom for 35 years. And all we did was fight most of the time. I didn't realize how miserable I was living with her all these years. So now I'm living with my brother. Well with in the last year and a half. I met an amazing guy. And he is definitely the one. And we have been dating long distance now since we met. He has mild autism and I feel as if it's more of a problem for him then he lets on. But anyway we are supposed to be moving in together. And I left it up to him to find us a place. So he went with his moms landlord to rent a place through. And we were supposed to be moving in February. But it got pushed back. He claimed the landlord got confused on the dates. And the man throught it was march. He is an older man almost 90. And I was upset at first about the delay. But was ok with it. Well this week the guy was supposed to get someone to fix the roof. So it would be ready for us to move in. And my bf hasn't heard anything from the landlord. And he has called him over and over. And finally he went to his house and left a note on the door the man wasn't home. And everyone in my family keeps asking me when I'm moving. And I feel so out of place at my brothers and like such a burden. And I haven't seen my bf for 5 months now. Because we knew we were moving in together. So we were waiting and saving money on making a trip to see one another. Sometimes I just worry my boyfriend is not doing all he could be doing to reach this guy. And we don't even know if the roof got fixed yet or not. Then he confesses he doesn't know the guy all that well personally but his mom does. And the only issue she has ever had with him. Is that a wall in the basement collapsed by snow last November and the landlord hasn't fixed it yet. Which makes me think the roof is probably not even fixed. But my boyfriend did say this man is forgetful because of his age. But it's making me so depressed. Wanting to move and not being able to or not knowing anything. And people in my family keep asking me when and I don't know what to tell them anymore. I mean I know it's not my boyfriend's fault. But I'm just mad at him. And worried he is not doing everything he could be to get a hold of this guy and find out something. I have been majorly depressed when I think about it. And I have a feeling of impending doom. And a terrible gut feeling in the pit of my stomach that it's all going to go terribly bad. Which maybe it already has. And my boyfriend just keeps saying he is depressed over it all as well. But I just wonder if he is taking my feelings into account. It's also my first tome on my own. And I feel like if we don't get in this house. Or if the move keeps getting pushed back. I will become a bigger and bigger disappointment to my family.