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Need Advice

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LadyLullaby

Member
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
6
My boyfriend and I have been dating 7 months he is unmedicated and has constant mood swings

He constantly says hurtful things and doesn't understand what he did was wrong or apologize unless I explain to him how what he said hurt my feelings. Otherwise he will act like nothing happened.

We argue constantly over mean things he says or when he acts unemotional or with lack of empathy

(When he does understand what he did he's very affectionate and apologetic)

The periods in between instances like these he claims he wants a family, he loves me more than anyone he's ever met and that he loves my daughter unconditionally.

He can't afford medication and he's scared if he gets back on medication he will be a zombie like he was when he was medicated as a child, but he has warn me down to where if he says something cruel I can't help, but cry.

I really want this relationship to work, but I can't handle him if he doesn't get better. I try to be understanding because I know it's because he's bipolar and it's his illness not his personality, but it's hard to handle it anymore.
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
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Jan 5, 2011
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44,164
Location
Lancashire
I am diagnosed bipolar and don't recognise the saying cruel things as necessarily part of the condition. When high people might be like that for short periods but not most of the time. I wonder if he is using it as an excuse for bad behaviour. But I can't diagnose on a forum so I can't say what I think it might be.

Has he been diagnosed as bipolar? I presume you aren't in the UK if you have to pay for meds. If they make him feel like a zombie then he needs different meds. I had to be on a range of different ones until they found the right mixture for me. If one med doesn't work properly, then try others instead.

:welcome: to the forum
 
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LadyLullaby

Member
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
6
He is diagnosed bipolar

From what I can tell he's going through a manic phase which I've learned is hard to control without meds.

We are in the US

He does this several times a week, but it's gotten worse in November and I have anxiety and depression and it's making my own mental illness worse
 
P

Pairou

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 3, 2018
Messages
116
Location
United States
I'm assuming you've already spoken to him about it... you may have to put your foot down. If he's unmedicated he's not going to be easy to be around and it sounds like he's not taking his disorder seriously.
 
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LadyLullaby

Member
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
6
How can I be sure if what he says is a mood swing or what he really means?
 
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