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need advice please

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one.badgerinpink

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Mar 11, 2008
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ok having a terrible time with my partner at the moment, recently he has become paranoid, this is only for periods though and has led to violence on more than one occasion...these periods are becoming closer togather ad more outragious eg thinking the other people in the house are banging doors to signal me to go and meet them secretly in the middle of the night...also peicing togather random events and turning them into situations where he thinks i have been cheating etc....he goes from being loving and supportive to switching to desperate, irrational and sometimes violent. He turned up to my work today sniffed my collar and went crazy even though he had come to bring my sandwhiches....does anyone have any ideas what is going on or what i can do as last summer a friend of mine ended up being sectioned in a bad situation after his paranoia etc was left unoticed....i really need to help him
 
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one.badgerinpink

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Mar 11, 2008
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oh an i forgot to mention the most recent violence occured on sat night when i needed a break from his accuations and wanted to go upstairs to call a friend he kicked the bathroom door off and strangled me then threw me in the bath by the back of my hair one of my housemates heard and took him away so i went downstairs,,,,,he has no recollection of this at all and when i have bruises and a black eye.....
 
connect

connect

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Hi one.badgerinpink :welcome:,

it does sound as if your partner needs help. I would speak to your GP about the situation. S/he might be able to access some support for you and/or your partner. It sounds very important that he receives some help with the distress that he is experiencing - it can't be nice for him, either! Unfortunately, unless he acknowledges that he has a problem and seeks professional help the violence is very likely to continue and get worse over time :(. Providing the help he needs is not something you can do.

Most importantly, I felt really concerned about your personal safety when I read your post. Please consider contacting Women's Aid - they have vast amounts of knowledge and experience with regards to what you can do to help yourself and your partner!

You can call their free 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline at 0808 2000 247. You can get advice and support regardless of whether you want to stay in the relationship or not. You can also e-mail them at helplineATwomensaid.org.uk (replace AT with @) - however, they can only offer limited information by email as they don't have the resources to provide in-depth information in this way. When you email them it's very important that you specify when, how and if it's safe to respond and to which email address.

You can also get in touch with a local domestic violence service for support, whether you want to stay in or to leave the relationship.

The police can give people in your situation support. For instance there are personal panic alarms which are connected to the police station which you can use in an emergency. Please don't hesitate to call 999 if you are concerned about your personal safety!

It's a very difficult situation that you're in and I think it's important that you get in touch with people who can help you decide on what the best course of action might be for you, in your particular situation.

I hope you will be able to summon up the courage to get the help you and your partner need and deserve.

Best of luck!!
Keep us in touch with how things develop. We are a supportive community and will give you what support we can :grouphug:
 
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Dollit

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Can I just add to one thing that connect said about calling 999. If you ring your local force on their everyday number and talk to the Beat Manager for your area he or she will give you lots of good advice and it makes them aware of the situation. Also they will ask the response teams to keep an eye on the general situation (you won't have uniforms knocking on the door every two minutes). They will be glad to help.
 
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robbie

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Feb 22, 2008
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Support

Please dont keep agonising why he does these things. Just look after yourself. I have been in marriages where it was mostly mental, but just as damaging. BE CAREFUL PLEASE.
 
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