Need advice please

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Neve70

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Feb 15, 2018
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Location
Derbyshire
#1
Hi everyone.
My adult son has no insight that he is ill. In his psychosis he believes I have taken his things a car his ID that I drugged him etc he doesn't drive and none of the things he believes is real.
He won't engage with the MH service as he believes he's not ill. He feels he doesn't need his medication. It's affecting his working life and he may lose his flat. His CPN etc are trying to contact him for an appointment to no avail.
How can we his family support him through this without making him angry ( he attacked me a few days ago as I seem to be the cause as I've taken his life away ) How do we deal with his feelings/thoughts I try not to feed them and try to listen to him and avoid saying "you need help or you are sick" as he denies both... Hiw can we enable him to seek medical help voluntarily??
Thank you in advance for any suggestions
 
Parayana

Parayana

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#2
If he's that bad he may need to be sectioned under the mental health act - I've had to do it to my GF a couple of times when she's been really far gone, she has no insight when she's in that state. Its not pleasant but sometimes it's a necessary evil. Sorry I can't be more helpful.
 
N

Neve70

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Messages
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Derbyshire
#3
Thanks for replying Parayana. He is currently under the community intervention Team.. in some ways it maybe the only way I dread that happening though but as a last resort for his treatment to be consistent ..maybe
 
boudreauj4

boudreauj4

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#4
There are two books that might help you. One is "I am not sick, I don't need help!" by Xavier Amador. The other is "You Need Help!" by Mark Komrad and Rosalynn Carter. These books are all about trying to convince a person to get professional help.
 
N

Neve70

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#5
Thank you boudreauj4. I found this Dr on utube as he was mentioned in another post, it was very helpful and gave me a better awareness of what I was doing wrong in approaching my son. Will look for " I need help" too :)
 
Kerome

Kerome

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#7
One technique ive seem mentioned recently is about helping the psychotic person deal with their fear. If you listen to their story and their fears, and at least appear to accept the possibility, and seem to want to help the psychotic person get to the bottom of their concerns, then often you can secure their cooperation.

Whether that leads to them seeing a doctor might depend on the exact case, but you might be able to persuade them. I’d suggest that it’s important to stay honest and on the level with the psychotic person, for the sake of future relationships, but it’s a sensible approach.
 
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Neve70

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Derbyshire
#8
Thanks Kerome. It's difficult at present as I've listened to my son's concerns of wanting his life back it appears I have those things he believes that are part of his life he wants back. In trying to be honest he attacked me so I've kept a low profile via text to ask if he's ok rather that see him. One text he responded with wanting to see his daughter - he doesn't have a daughter . I didn't respond back. I personally think he doesn't feel his life has turned out the way he wanted and his thoughts are telling him what he feels he should have
at the age he is his friends are having their own families, maybe he feels left behind.. if that makes sense .. I'm going to a carers support group this week . But at the moment my son still feels he's not sick. Ive always been honest with him and will agree to disagree if his memories are not mine.. or not real
 
A

Abilifred

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#9
One thing I've realized having been in the mental health community for over a year now is that there is often a lot of stigma about "being mentally ill" or getting a diagnosis of something. When your son says he is not ill, he may be reacting to a sense of embarrassment he has about admitting that he has symptoms. It took me a long time to admit this, but since I have I've gone through a year of vast improvement. It is important to recognize that being "mentally ill" does not make you a second-class citizen; it in fact makes you stronger than many people. I even see it as a privilege to be amongst the mental health community.
Good exposure to what the mental health community has to offer can help counteract the stigma (stigma that has arisen usually from ignorance). I always see my counseling sessions not as a chore, but as an opportunity. Being able to unload your feelings confidentially on another person has little downside, and great possibility. You have nothing to lose here. Maybe you can help your son understand that.
And one of the reasons we diagnose is so that you can find others who share symptoms with you; it is about creating a community. When I can find others who hear voices or have hallucinations like I do, it makes me feel less alone in dealing with this. When you learn to be realistic about symptoms, you are that much closer to defeating them.
Also, you mentioned that he feels somewhat envious of friends his age who are starting families. I'm twenty-seven, single, and can absolutely relate to those feelings when I see friends on Facebook traveling the world, getting married, having children, etc. One thing I tell myself is that I am still very young, and I still have so much time ahead of me. Everybody's path is different and unique. When you focus too much on how others' lives are going you neglect your own. While I feel ready to settle down with a partner, I also feel grateful that I am young and have so much time ahead to do these things. Maybe you can help your son learn to value what he has accomplished by now and thus fight off the anxiety about how others are doing.
I hope your son can figure out a way to admit some of his issues while still maintaining his self-respect. It is very difficult to be a mother to someone with these kinds of problems, so I applaud your work! Good luck!
 
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Neve70

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#10
Thank you blue fairy for taking the time to reply in such a positive insightful knowledgeable way. My son is doing better with his medication and just starting his CBT. I agree personally with your statement that being able to upload your feelings to another has little downside.. from my own experience I've encouraged my son to be more open and honest about his feelings/thoughts as it can only have positive outcomes and enable you to manage or cope with your anxieties better. He now realises that his delusions were not real and accepts his life is what it is..... his achievements at finishing uni, working being independent is all good and there is no shame in admitting that after being strong for so long he now needs help. He has a good future like you hes young your age and wants to achieve so much more. He's taken small steps but been out with a friend recently. I wish he could meet someone like you to see that having a mental health diagnosis is no shame... although I don't think he does feel that ...he accepts it and tells people who needs to know which is good True friends will be supportive and listen many of his 'old' friends have disappeared... but hey ho. His family is supportive and but it would be good for him to find a few close friends / others who have same symptoms so hes not alone .. or feels like he is ...and could share experiences and support each other. We all have some mental health symptoms at some point in our lives however they manifest themselves there should me no shame or stigma but I know there is. I applaud you! Thanks again and wish you well
 

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