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Need advice for bipolar partner's depressive episode



New member
Jun 2, 2020
Hey guys, I need some advice and maybe some reassurance on something.
My bipolar partner and I have been dating for about 2 months. She's been in a depressive episode for about a month and a half now and some days it seemed like she was feeling better, but about a week ago her depressive episode has hit an absolute low. She went from being very happy about the birthday present I made her and saying how much she loves me the one day to the next day barely keeping in touch with me, being unable to show any affection and only replying to very few of my messages, sometimes not even replying until the next day. This has been going on for more than a week now.

I already told her she shouldn't beat herself up over it and that I know that she is going through a difficult time right now and that I still love her even if she can't show me the same love at the moment. I also make sure to let her know at least once a day that I love her, but I'm worried if this may make it worse. I already asked her if she preferred I rather not show that much affection at the moment to which she replied that she doesn't know.

I love her with all my heart and want to support her the best I can, but it is really difficult to tell if I'm doing the right thing, especially now that having conversations with her is almost impossible due to her not being able to reply most of the time.

Do any of you have any experience with having the problems my partner experiences at the moment and if so, do you have any advice on how to best be supportive as a loved one? Also, are these kinds of depressive lows usual or is this more of a rare occurence? I just want to be prepared for the next time this happens.


Well-known member
Feb 27, 2020
Nashua NH
It’s kind of you to want to support your girlfriend through this depression. Everyone handles depression differently so there’s really no one right universal answer on how best to respond. Bipolar cycles through mania and depression so depending on how often she experiences manias that is how often she will experience depressions and they can go on for any length of time. Sometimes if/when people are contacting us a lot it can seem like a lot of pressure is being put on us to engage with them
and we can grow to resent it. If you think this might be the case you might want to reign in the frequency of communication with your partner. Let her know that you want her to be able to focus on her health and wellness so you will be only contacting her once a day or something. You have to use your intuition and your reasoning here because it seems like she is not communicating her needs to you. You can always come right out and ask her, how often would you like to hear from
me, or would taking a break until you get better be more helpful? It’s great that you are so invested and caring through this process. Use your intuition and try as much as possible to work with her to make sure your efforts are appreciated. xo, j
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