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Need advice and help

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willowdaisiechain

New member
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Woking
Hello ,

I have been with my fiancé for three and abit years now . We are normally in a good place and love each other dearly . We have been struggling to conceive for a good two years and have had two Devasting miscarriages one at 5 weeks and one at 10 weeks . Now I am just not falling pregnant and it’s soul destroying .
I have found out I am pregnant again at 11 weeks but there worried it is a high risk pregnancy and I could miscarry again . Which I’m worried about as this will kill me .

The other day my partner got a letter from the cms claiming he has fathered his ex girlfriends child she has . The baby was born in October 2016 we got together April 7th 2016 . My partner is so angry and fuming . He wasn’t with this women long about five Months and he barely saw her . This ex partner was abusive to him and would regularly hit him , use his card and wallet and also he worries she may of tried to trap him by cutting condoms . She isn’t a nice person .
I’m just worried this child is his and it will effect me physically and mentally and also us finically . Knowing he got another women pregnant and she is the mother to his child makes me me feel so sick and upset . He said he doesn’t want anything to do with the child
And never will . He doesn’t want to speak about it or ever see it . He has such anger . It just the finical impact if it is his . Will cripple us especially with our baby .

I’m so worried it’s making me feel i don’t want to be here any more I feel
I want to end my life .
Please help .


What do
I do !!

Hannah

 
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DW1986

Member
Joined
May 28, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Barnsley
Hi

First of all don't think about ending your life. You're pregnant and your partner isn't happy with this either. It's not like he's happy and showing you no consideration. You need to be a team and discuss your future plans. This child is now in your life and you hopefully will have one of your own too soon enough. You need to do your best to stay happy and stress free while pregnant too!

You won't like the next bit but the child from the previous relationship shouldn't be punished for the mothers mistakes. Everyone should have a dad. It's worth talking about and discussing more even if you end up at the same conclusion as you have arrived at now.

Sorry you feel this way and I hope you're OK sooner rather than later. Just do your best to be as happy and healthy as you can be!
 
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willowdaisiechain

New member
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Woking
He doesn’t want anything to do with it and never does . I don’t want him to have anything to do with it either . It’s his descion and he has made it . Just how some women would feel if they were raped they wouldn’t want the child some wouldn’t , he feels the same it was consensual so he doesn’t want anything to do with it . So it’s deacision
 
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DW1986

Member
Joined
May 28, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Barnsley
He doesn’t want anything to do with it and never does . I don’t want him to have anything to do with it either . It’s his descion and he has made it . Just how some women would feel if they were raped they wouldn’t want the child some wouldn’t , he feels the same it was consensual so he doesn’t want anything to do with it . So it’s deacision

Thats fine then. Sorry, I didn't mean to offend. I just thought it was important. More importantly though is you, do you have any idea of how you will proceed? Are you and your partner OK with each other?
 
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willowdaisiechain

New member
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Woking
Just he has decided he doesn’t want anything to do with it and never does he has such anger , and if he saw it he said he will loose it at them both . So it just the finances I worry about and my
Mental health knowing . It’s stressing it out .
 
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DW1986

Member
Joined
May 28, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Barnsley
I know it's easy for me to say it but you need to focus on the positives and use them to lift your mood. Start with that cause it'll help you look at everything else more clearly including finances. You don't want to be mentally struggling, then trying to do finances on top of that and ending up a lot worse.

Also like I said, a happy you makes a happy baby. I know it's tough but try to keep that in mind.
 
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