Need a shoulder

[bambam]

hi folks,im new to forum and looking for feedback...14 yrs ago my now X partner was told she had Schizophrenia ...we have 2 kids aged 15 and 5...in early years she was in and out of hospital,and through a rough few years getting picked up of streets and the likes and admitted to hospital,prob about 60 percent of her time that she was un well she would get violent,but she tends to run away when not well,last time running to whales and deproted back here to hospital..then 5 years ago we split,she built her own life as did i,she was giving CLOSARIL(spell)and to be honest even though she had he downs it kept her from hospital...i took control off the kids with her concent and i always and still do keep them from lets say tuesday to a saturday,as she would defo not be able to get the kids to school and having them any more than she does would wear her out,shes just not able....i might add that she has no help from her family,her sister has also got Schizophrenia and her mams an alcoholic...the rest life there own lifes,i thought she was unwell the last week,pre dropping the kids off to her on sunday i went down for a chat..she was very unwell and infact wanted to run again or she stated that she was suicidal...so she asked to be brought to hospital and both me and my partner brought her....she was let out today after 2 days and told to take lots of rest,but shes still on her own,and to be honest im a tad freaked...i was never afraid of her situation before,but i am now,i feel the kids are very unstable,and should come with me full time....the young lad thrives with me,but when with her he takes complete control,and me daughter is 15.the situation has her life unstable for well 15 years...then if i do take full control of kids will that drive her over the edge???im lost,and once again seeking not answers,but maybe guidance or people with same situation...
anyhow thanks for reading
matt
ps i might add were both mid 30s...
HOPE I POSTED IN RIGHT THREAD...

 

[ms_P]

I've moved it for you, Bambam. It may get more response here.

 

[bambam]

thas very much,cheers for that

 

[diddypinks]

why not arrange to pop round and take the kids to the park every day and give her a break just a thought.

 

[bambam]

why not arrange to pop round and take the kids to the park every day and give her a break just a thought.

hi i wouold have the kids with me to stay from say most tuesdays to saturdays,and id even have to collect them for school monday as she cant get out of bed,on non school days she would get up with the kids,but at 2 in the day she would be still asleep on sofa.kid still in pjs...no i do hear what your sayig,but i have them most of week,and even the days i dontbhave the id often and do often bring the places...i just feel with her suicidal threats,thats enough to warrent me being in full control of kids....

 

[diddypinks]

hi

hi there sorry i didnt realise you already had them, mediation is a good thing to do in this circumstances you talk to a qualified mediator and you can get through whats important and she can have her say and ask each other what needs to happen for the good of the children and you both. it sounds like your doing a really good job as it is i think you could go to a mental health support group for the carers of a menatally ill even tho your technically not her carer they could offer you some support and advice. try mind in your local area they might be able to let you know of any or look on the web. good luck diddy

 

[maudikie]

Maudikie to Bam bam

You've really had a bucket full! I think you are wonderful to care for the children and cope with your wife's problems. I hope you are getting all the help that you are entitled to.
Has your wife got member of the Mental health Team to help support her?
Are you getting a carer's allowance, and any benefits you are entitled to for the children.
Have you asked for a carer's assessment?
I am sure that from your history you are caring and loving the children, but their Mother's illness must be having an effect on them.
If you are not in any contact with the mental health people I should ask your G.P. for a referral as things don;t seem to be improving for you, and it is important for the children and yourself, that you take care of yourself and have some time to yourself.
I hope these suggestions help, and hope that you will get more support.
Take care. Love to the children.