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J

Justfrozen

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Joined
Dec 11, 2021
Messages
511
Location
UK
It’s not easy I know, how have you overcome it?
 
Q

quilteddown10

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 26, 2021
Messages
1,035
Location
UK
It’s not easy I know, how have you overcome it?
Initially it was staying busy and being sociable with friends. I had fun for the first time in my life. Festivals, proper nights out, etc. Things I’d never done before. I had a few relationships. That’s all over now and I’m now in the proper aftermath of divorce. Feels like a return to reality. I’m now living alone in a different part of the uk, no friends locally and my health has deteriorated. So it’s not great but I think at heart I am a loner so I don’t mind the isolation too much. It’s taken a while for me to let go of the knee-jerk reaction that makes me seek company.
 
J

Justfrozen

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 11, 2021
Messages
511
Location
UK
I don’t know what to do. I’m like a rabbit in the headlights is how I describe myself,”frozen” through fear, not knowing how to live, just not knowing, i hate this.
 
Q

quilteddown10

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 26, 2021
Messages
1,035
Location
UK
I don’t know what to do. I’m like a rabbit in the headlights is how I describe myself,”frozen” through fear, not knowing how to live, just not knowing, i hate this.
You’ve got the basics, though: job, roof over your head, no drug or alcohol issues. That’s a basic platform from which to start rebuilding. Presumably living with your folks means you can save a bit of money?

One thing I will say is that I was a very keen road cyclist at the time of my divorce and being fit and healthy (despite having an underlying chronic illness) massively helped. I would cycle everywhere. It kept me busy and meant I still felt a part of the world. I would recommended taking up a physical activity. Running, swimming, cycling, whatever. Something that uses up any energy that would otherwise be driving obsessive ruminations.
 
J

Justfrozen

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 11, 2021
Messages
511
Location
UK
I go to the gym, joined this recently and have been going about 3 times a weeek. Even when I’m there and my heart rate is over 180 on the exercise bike etc my mind still ruminates, I give up.
 
Q

quilteddown10

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 26, 2021
Messages
1,035
Location
UK
I go to the gym, joined the recently. Even when I’m there and my heart rate is over 180 on the excessive bike etc my mind still ruminates, I give up.
Sounds like you are doing everything right, though. Keep with the routine and it will get you through the most difficult periods.
 
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