• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

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Honeyshadow

Honeyshadow

Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2021
Messages
22
Location
Greenville NC
Hi, I’m new, it’s my first time on any forum. My life > husband of 35 years. Three boys who live far away. Two awesome pups who get me through everyday. I can honestly say if it wasn’t for them I’d probably be dead of my own accord. My parents are dead. I have one sister who has stolen from me many times who I do not speak to. I’m a pediatric nurse but has not worked in a year due to a stroke and COVID. I haven’t been the same with retaining stuff in my head. Since New Years my husband got up from the couch around 9 pm went to the bathroom and into bed and yelled out goodnight. We have separate bedrooms because of his work hours and snoring. Every night since then he has shaken my hand goodnight or has yelled out goodnight. That has just exuberated my loneliness and sadness. my parents were bullies and I just can’t get over that, it’s with me forever. I cry and want to die. My last job I was bullied by a co worker for 6 years, I feel it had done a lot of damage. I have one friend who lives five hours away. I’m on anxiety depression medicine. I’ve talked to therapists but still my parents damage I can not forgive. All this hides in my head and comes out everyday.
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
5,482
Location
Canada
Hi, and welcome to the forum.
 
Honeyshadow

Honeyshadow

Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2021
Messages
22
Location
Greenville NC
Thank you. I’m really hoping it helps. Unfortunately it helps/hurts knowing other are going through this.
 
L

Loudpipes

Active member
Joined
Jan 16, 2021
Messages
34
Location
Florida
Depression, suicide idealization and so much more. I've been divorced from my husband for a year now
 
L

Loudpipes

Active member
Joined
Jan 16, 2021
Messages
34
Location
Florida
Where are you from? I live in Florida with my dog Marley. He is my buddy
 
Honeyshadow

Honeyshadow

Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2021
Messages
22
Location
Greenville NC
I’m sorry. i wish my husband would leave me. Since New Years he has been shaking my hand goodnight. The only intimacy was that kiss goodnight for over 17 years. He is not “my person “he does not have my back after 35 years. Achilles and Murphy. Who I LIVE for.
 
L

Loudpipes

Active member
Joined
Jan 16, 2021
Messages
34
Location
Florida
I'm sorry are you in a position to leave. I left my ex at 3:30 in the morning. No serious reasons
 
Honeyshadow

Honeyshadow

Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2021
Messages
22
Location
Greenville NC
NC. im tired of being depressed. I don’t want to be here anymore. I'm emotionally scarred. My parents were bullies, my last job of 6 years a co worker bullied me. My husband could care less
 
soul searching

soul searching

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 5, 2020
Messages
1,055
Location
Clearwater, Florida
HI Honeyshadow! I don't have any advice to offer but am sorry to hear you are going through this.
 
L

Loudpipes

Active member
Joined
Jan 16, 2021
Messages
34
Location
Florida
I dont blame you. Sorry you were bullied and your hubby sounds aweful
 
Honeyshadow

Honeyshadow

Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2021
Messages
22
Location
Greenville NC
I had covid In October. I haven’t been the same, I’m not working. He is a good provider. But I’ve been going downhill for years. He has given me zero support and blamed me for resigning. I’m so unhappy with my life. I cry myself to sleep. ( pediatric nurse ). I just keep telling my self I need to hang in there till my pups go to rainbow bridge.
 
soul searching

soul searching

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 5, 2020
Messages
1,055
Location
Clearwater, Florida
Hi Honeyshadow! You are in a really low, bad place right now. I noticed your reference to Rainbow Bridge. When my dog, Charlie, passed about 3 months ago I chose the Rainbow Bridge urn and plaque with the poem on it. It is so sad but helps when you are grieving. For you to talk about your pups this way is a huge red flag. I think you have some severe depression going on. You might want to consider seeing a professional. You can get well and have better days.
 
Honeyshadow

Honeyshadow

Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2021
Messages
22
Location
Greenville NC
I have tried. It’s always when my story is done...here are the meds.
 
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