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Narcissism, no friends

Nina1997

Nina1997

New member
Joined
Jun 26, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Southampton
I’ve been told the same by alot of people, mostly men I’ve dated, but friends too. I don’t have many friends either, or no close ones anyways. I know what you’re going through and I know it is somehow painful and frustrating not to be able to change. Most people will think because we are narcissists we don’t suffer or we aren’t hurt, but the constant effort I put into showing everyone around me I’m better than they are is draining me. It’s very tiring, but I can’t control myself.

Accept the fact that this is who you are and try to find people who will accept you the way you are( hopefully you will). I think changing is extremely hard and it might not be impossible, but it will probably take a lifetime.
 
B

Blackrose09

Active member
Joined
Jun 24, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Somewhere
Hello, for those who want to change search on youtube for this video: "ramani 10 things narcissists can do to change". Maybe you can learn something useful from dr. Ramani.
 
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WhySoSerious

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
146
Location
UK
The problem with "true" narcissists is that everything is about them. The primary goal is to get their needs met, to be seen as "better" than others, to always get one over on others around them. They often lack any sense of compassion about how their behaviour impacts others because the emotions of others aren't that relevant to them personally. The key focus I would say is being mindful of when your behaviours are self-driven (i.e. when you direct everything back to you rather than the other person).

Nobody wants to be around someone who constantly has to tell you how brilliant they are. Why would you want that? Most people haven't got the tolerance for that, I certainly don't.

Sadly narcissism is often under acknowledged and therefore treatment of it is extremely challenging. Most of the time "true" narcissists don't even seek help - how dare anyone suggest they have a problem, it must be someone else's problem not theirs!

The fact that you can acknowledge it makes me question... are you actually diagnosed with NPD?

There is a massive difference between NPD and someone who likes a lot of validation/attention and praise. Most (not all) NPD clients simply cannot even contemplate that their behaviour is a problem; it is beyond the realm of possibility. To admit that their behaviour is a problem means admitting that they are fallible - that is not an option because to admit that takes away all sense of security and self.

Most MH services won't touch NPD clients at all. Even if you have a diagnosis NPD is generally deemed incurable and as a result (unless you have an extremely specialist therapist) they don't bother trying.
 
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