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My worst in over a year.

B

Blackholesun

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 1, 2010
Messages
80
Hey all. I guess I'm looking to vent a bit.

My psych took me off of the Lamictal a month ago. I was having problems with IBS and constipation and when she ordered some bloodwork I had a white cell count of 15,500. Not normal apparently, so she suspected the Lamictal was causing my immune system to drop and was causing infections. I was told to come off of the Lamictal (and did immediately as I was scared) and to go onto Seroquel. Sadly I decided to set myself a med change routine and stay off of anything for a couple of weeks to let my system clear and so on. What a stupid mistake.

The mania began to kick about a week later. I was on top of the world, deciding that the 18 months of Lamictal must have cured me once and for all. I was in control.. Or at least I thought.

After about ten days I began to become fidgetty and frustrated. I began to sum up my life and figured that I was a worthless piece of shit. I became angry, lashing out at those who questioned me and I knew then I had better get on something quick. I had a stash of Sertraline lying around from a couple of years ago and like an idiot I decided that all I wanted was to feel good. I wanted my emotions back, I wanted to feel alive. It backfired. I became angrier, to the point of just being a timebomb filled with rage. After a week of that I decided I had better get to my Psych quick. Then I realised that she had left and I was waiting for a new one and a new support worker. I had no one to turn to so I decided to go to my G.P.


All I managed to do was scare him shitless. I was seething, swearing, saying how I hated the whole world. He asked me if I wanted to be admitted voluntarily under civil admission, I said that I would let my family know and if it worsened I would have it taken care of. Sadly it was a bit late and the damage done. I began the Seroquel immediately, but by that time the wheels had already fell off the wagon and I was in a real mess. I am sleeping a lot now but when I am awake I just feel crushed by sadness. All I want to do is dress in black and listen to sad music and cry.. I know this won't help so I am trying to stay positive and listen to rock music etc..

God I hope I feel better soon :(
 
DanielB1974

DanielB1974

Member
Joined
Nov 8, 2011
Messages
19
Location
Toronto, Ontario
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough time. Switching medications is always such a frustration, and it rarely goes smoothly. On the bright side, you're almost out on the other end. Just hang in there :).
 
megirl

megirl

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Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
8,172
Location
NZ
Well interestingly after several weeks of being on lamictal my mood was improving markedly it was as I have said after everthing else I have tried had such a marked effect.
I had at that point in time swollen lymph nodes I wasnt worried but thought better tell my support worker.
My doc was away and the other consultant pdoc told me to stop it. Blood tests and my white cell counts and other blood results were a bit out of the so called 'normal range'
Well almost immediately my mood dropped significantly. I was hostile agitated etc.
My pdoc came back and started me back on it mentally I was feeling so much better.
I had daily blood tests and my white cell count was low one day then all over the place.
Apparantly this kind of reaction happens in one person in 10,000 and out of those 10,000 half who stop and then restart it dont have the reaction again.
I thought I would be the lucky one it wasnt to be.
Anyway my pdoc bent over backwards and consulted with one of the top haematoligists in the country he was great. He didnt panic like the medical docs, he was like we need to monitor her bloods daily and I had to stay away from anyone who had anyform of anything that could be contagious.
Basically the haemotologist was like we need to weigh up her mental health against her physical health. At this time I felt fine never got a cold or anything at all like that.
My bloods are now within an acceptable range. They now believe that I have some form of malapsortion disorder,
With the tests and more tests they have done they have found nothing that could indicate any known disorder or disease process,
Luckily after I think my last blood test this month after 18 months on lamictal have returned to normal I am depressin free. Bit overwhemed atm, but thats expected. But wow! to be depression free is a god send.
MAybe your pdoc can get you back on it if it is helping your mental health.
I get constipated anyway and its probably due to not eating enough and irratically so I self administer my laxitives I dont tell them though cos then they go on about the eating weight thing..
But if lamictal worked for you then maybe using my case as an example you may be able to go back on it at lower dosages and more slowly.
Sorry to hear you struggling atm,
megirl
 
bobshocker

bobshocker

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Mar 13, 2011
Messages
2,497
Location
UK
blackhole sun is my favorite track by soundgarden
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