• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

My worst fears validated

UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
4,232
Location
Norway
So I've always thaught that my social anxiety was just something in my head and that my perceptions of other people judging me or somehow being repulsed by my presence was just my anxiety distorting my perception of reality, but the other day I was hanging out with a friend because I didn't want him to be alone on his Birthday so we went out to have a coffee and some cake and later to a local museum. Every person I talked to had this funny look on their face as if my mere presence insulted them and first I thought it might be because of Covid but they didn't react like that with anyone else including my friend. Later my friend told me that he had noticed how strange people had responded to me and even he couldn't understand why as to him I had seemed perfectly normal. I've been pretty down lately and these episodes has made me feel even worse about myself and I just can't figure out why people reacted to me that way.
 
SomeSwedishGirl

SomeSwedishGirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
3,491
Location
Sweden
I think that people pick up on “depressed vibes”, and people who doesnt understand, sympathize or empathize will turn their nose at it and shy away. That has usually been the case with me in my life.
 
B

bpd2020

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
7,535
Location
England
What a horrible experience. I know this may not help but, those people do not know you. You are a very kind and caring person. You went out with your friend so they would not be alone. That shows how kind you are.

I have had negative experiences from strangers. In my 20s I was often sworn at by other young women. I never knew why.

Do not let strangers opinions define you. Anybody who knows you can see what a lovely person you are.
 
MarieRose

MarieRose

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 27, 2020
Messages
106
Location
England
I attracted hatred,hostility and contempt in my 20's,I was shunned,ostracised and bullied.I worked in a shop and strangers came in who disliked me and threatened to harm me if they met me out on the streets.Turned out it was because they said I was too pretty,they were scared I'd steal their boyfriends,one woman was black and she had a white sister in law,she saw me in the shop and said she'd harm me because it's woman like me steal black men from black women!I was shocked ,it was scary,I didn't realise until years later that it was my attractiveness made people jealous.Maybe people are reacting that way to you because you are too atractive and they are jealous of you too.You might think that is the case if you think about it.
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 9, 2020
Messages
1,280
Location
Canada
i wish everyone hated me. then i would laugh at them. haha you guys are suffering from hate, sucks to be you!
 
P

pokerfish12

Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2020
Messages
19
Location
United Kingdom
That's awful, I'm sorry people reacted to you like that. Like another poster said-these people don't know but they made some judgement about you which isn't fair, but we can't say why. But, the fact that you have a friend like the one you went out with shows you're not repulsive; you're capable of making great friends and you even went out with him on his birthday which shows what a great friend you are as well. Try not to focus on how strangers react, and you also don't know what others are dealing with so maybe they took some kind of frustration or their own bad moods out on you, who knows.
 
H

Hana26

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 26, 2020
Messages
98
Location
World
So I've always thaught that my social anxiety was just something in my head and that my perceptions of other people judging me or somehow being repulsed by my presence was just my anxiety distorting my perception of reality, but the other day I was hanging out with a friend because I didn't want him to be alone on his Birthday so we went out to have a coffee and some cake and later to a local museum. Every person I talked to had this funny look on their face as if my mere presence insulted them and first I thought it might be because of Covid but they didn't react like that with anyone else including my friend. Later my friend told me that he had noticed how strange people had responded to me and even he couldn't understand why as to him I had seemed perfectly normal. I've been pretty down lately and these episodes has made me feel even worse about myself and I just can't figure out why people reacted to me that way.
Sometimes we attract the energy we put out, if you are depressed or unsecure, some people may pick up on that, these people may not be in the greatest place in life right now and so they don't like to see a reflection of how they feel. I've had people make remarks on things about me that I thought were in my head too, it obviously made me feel even worse and self conscious but in the end what can we do? We are who we are, some things about ourselves can be changed, some can't.

Let people take it or leave it, you have friends, you spent the day with a friend who would have been totally alone on his birthday and that says something about you. Don't let a couple of individuals define who you are or make you feel bad about anything, they don't represent the whole world, don't get fixated on it nor think that the majority of ppl perceives you the wrong way x
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
5,537
Location
England
I have a feeling they were looking at you strangely because you were looking at them strangely. Your feeling anxious and uncomfortable, do you think they then noticed you.

I am so bad at staring and it really angers some people. I notice everything, if someone looks hassled, anxious, ill, angry, rushed, if they look like they have been crying, if they are impatient. I do annoy many people.

When i have felt paranoid, which has not been for a very long time, i was staring at everyone an telling my doctor that everyone had been staring at me and how horrible it was, their eyes glaring right through me. It was me that was making everyone else feel incomfortable though.

There is also energy. Perhaps it is something real, someone walks in and you feel their presence and look.

I'm sorry such a good deed for you ended up being an upsetting thing. Recharge your batteries and then try again. Your lovely personality comes through in your posts.
 
T

toutatis

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 24, 2018
Messages
1,371
Location
New Zealand
Whatever it is in their minds they've fabricated about you, whatever it is in their minds they're deluding themselves about, just know they're wrong and you can look them in the eye with a clear conscience as a good decent person.

If it's one thing I know about people it's that most of them live in this fantasy world of assumption and daydream when it comes to how they perceive others.

You've done nothing wrong so you can hold on to that.
 
Top