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My wife is hearing voices and I need some helpful advise

J

jillhears

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Jan 22, 2015
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In my personal experience medication has helped my voices to calm and allows me to sleep at night and to remain in a good place with messages they want to convey. If she has been unwell they may be there to comfort her. Mine came when I was struggling to find help for my daughter. I am a healthy active mother of three and 47 years old and feel at times I would just love to sit with someone and talk about it but would never do that because of the stigma.
 
J

jillhears

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Joined
Jan 22, 2015
Messages
5
Lack of sleep is such an antagonist! I have been on an anti psychotic medication for 4 and a half years and sleep like a baby. My doctor actually prescribes it as a sleep med now. I could go a week or more with no hint of sleep if I had not taken this med. It helps me to keep it together and keeps most of the voices subdued, I have gone without the med before and the flood of voices and all their advice comes in like a tsunami!
 
J

jillhears

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Jan 22, 2015
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You are truly giving her wonderful advice.
 
T

themountaineer

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Nov 4, 2014
Messages
57
Lack of sleep is such an antagonist! I have been on an anti psychotic medication for 4 and a half years and sleep like a baby. My doctor actually prescribes it as a sleep med now. I could go a week or more with no hint of sleep if I had not taken this med. It helps me to keep it together and keeps most of the voices subdued, I have gone without the med before and the flood of voices and all their advice comes in like a tsunami!
Hi Jill

Thanks for the reply, your input and kind words you offer.

It has been a little while since I updated on this post, mainly due to living a busy worklife/homelife etc. I read to my wife you words and thoughts and they resonate with her. At this stage we still have not told the Dr's what is really happening and so far she has been prescribed anti-depressants which have helped on some level, and have lifted her general mood, making things more manageable. She has had a good run recently with not much disturbance, however oddly enough this week she took a step back. This I put down to lack of sleep, she has started to get her sleeping out of kilter and this I believe is the result of that. I am now helping her to put some kind of plan/schedule/goals back in her life which will be led by my wife, as in her decisions. Just simple things like some tasks to help her get out of the house more and have some things that have some purpose in life to do or achieve. I recently told her parents and my parents what is happening, I felt I had to as they have been asking lots of questions about her heath and why she is not at work etc, the pressure got to much for me and I told them, and felt they should know. So far they have been ok, but offering ill informed parental advise which can be tedious, so I am now having to deal with that too, but at least they know why their daughter has been "not been right" as they put it. It has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs for us both, but in general I am pleased to say she has been in a good place and managing well. I would like her to maybe see a talking therapist at somepoint so she can offload and talk freely about this. I hope she may come on this forum still and communicate with you Jill and others too. I think that will offer a huge pillar of support so she does not feel alone through this and can talk amongst other people who have these experiences.

Jill, I really do appreciate you taking the time to share your experiences, hopefully my wife will be able to share hers with you too.
 
T

themountaineer

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Nov 4, 2014
Messages
57
Latest update.

Sadly the voices /communication has taken on a negative slant now, attacking her and threatening her. She has done amazingly well managing/coping without intervention until recent days. I throw in the towel now, and will be taking her down the medical route to hopefully aid her recovery.

Had interesting conversation with my friend an ex-psychiatric nurse. He knows my wife has had spiritual experiences since she was a child, he had to give up his profession as he could not take the decision to section people any longer, as there is a fine line between spiritual experiences and psychosis. I also sit on the fence, as while I have not experienced the spiritual after world, I am not one to say it does or does not exist.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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Location
small town Ontario, Canada
I often struggle with the spiritual aspect on my son JD's voices and hallucinations, from his different realities in his scitzophrenia. Who am I to say whether they are real or not, or whether to say he can or can not be existing in two or more dimensional planes at the same time or not. I just try to reinforce that this reality needs to stay separate from his other ones while he is here and try not to get them mixed up. :(
 
Kerome

Kerome

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Europe
I went through much the same kind of experience, although I didn't have a loving partner beside me and so did a lot more wandering. I had an episode of voice hearing which started in late September a few years ago, and by the time early December had rolled around I had experienced so much that I admitted defeat and decided to take medication. A month of 4 mg of risperidone and it was all quiet, although it took me another month to fully recover.

The experiences haven't stopped entirely, after several years. I still get religious tinged, well more meditative things, which happen especially when I'm close to sleep. Or even occasionally during the day. Some of them I can recognise from writings such as commentaries on meditations from the Bardo Thodol, the Tibetan book of the dead. But they are generally very short, and I've found ways to keep my equilibrium when they happen.

The important thing about the medical route, in my experience, is to try and find a medicine which has as few side effects as possible. Risperidone made me lethargic during the day even, and made me sleep very deeply, made me gain weight and other things. So eventually I switched to Orap. Under Orap I'm having a few more experiences, but fewer other side effects, which I consider a better trade off.

Wishing you both the best of luck!
 
T

themountaineer

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Nov 4, 2014
Messages
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Hi Kerome

Thanks for sharing with me and your kind words.

My challenge is trying to get her into see someone, she refused to go to the appointment today, and had to reschedule for 2 days time.

I have cancelled my business trips to stay with her this week, and I am determined to get her in-front of someone even if that means a home visit from a Dr.

x


I went through much the same kind of experience, although I didn't have a loving partner beside me and so did a lot more wandering. I had an episode of voice hearing which started in late September a few years ago, and by the time early December had rolled around I had experienced so much that I admitted defeat and decided to take medication. A month of 4 mg of risperidone and it was all quiet, although it took me another month to fully recover.

The experiences haven't stopped entirely, after several years. I still get religious tinged, well more meditative things, which happen especially when I'm close to sleep. Or even occasionally during the day. Some of them I can recognise from writings such as commentaries on meditations from the Bardo Thodol, the Tibetan book of the dead. But they are generally very short, and I've found ways to keep my equilibrium when they happen.

The important thing about the medical route, in my experience, is to try and find a medicine which has as few side effects as possible. Risperidone made me lethargic during the day even, and made me sleep very deeply, made me gain weight and other things. So eventually I switched to Orap. Under Orap I'm having a few more experiences, but fewer other side effects, which I consider a better trade off.

Wishing you both the best of luck!
 
Kerome

Kerome

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Perhaps you could get in touch with a crisis service? That was my first contact, I ended up staying with my mother and stepfather and they eventually arranged a visit from the local crisis service, who are a bit more at home with doing home visits than psychiatrists or GPs.

But I have to warn you, they are likely to say something along the lines of "take the medication or we can't help you", and offer you a choice of three or so meds. They should have pamphlets which state the side effects and give a brief spiehl about each one. But it's a bit pot luck, they just asked me to pick one and I ended up saying "let me think about it and read the docs".

In the end it was my choice, but the crisis team visit set me to thinking, and a few weeks later I went to a GP and got the standard medicine that they prescribe.

Ultimately I found a decent psychiatrist with an anthroposophical background (so somewhat spiritual), and that has been by far the best advice I've had on medication.
 
T

themountaineer

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Nov 4, 2014
Messages
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Thanks again

I have made contact with a crises team and they have advised me to meet with her GP and get her referred to an out of area service. It is an unusual situation I am in as my wife works for the local Mental Health service and is known to the crises services. So I have to tread carefully as she so far does not want to disclose that she is hearing voices to her manager. Although I am now at a point where I think I may have to say something to her line manager, as she has been off since October and they are quizzing on what is going on, I think she will run the risk of losing her job if she is not more specific to them. Plus if any place of work that would be most understanding and supportive would be the mental health service! unfortunately she is petrified of telling anyone :(



Perhaps you could get in touch with a crisis service? That was my first contact, I ended up staying with my mother and stepfather and they eventually arranged a visit from the local crisis service, who are a bit more at home with doing home visits than psychiatrists or GPs.

But I have to warn you, they are likely to say something along the lines of "take the medication or we can't help you", and offer you a choice of three or so meds. They should have pamphlets which state the side effects and give a brief spiehl about each one. But it's a bit pot luck, they just asked me to pick one and I ended up saying "let me think about it and read the docs".

In the end it was my choice, but the crisis team visit set me to thinking, and a few weeks later I went to a GP and got the standard medicine that they prescribe.

Ultimately I found a decent psychiatrist with an anthroposophical background (so somewhat spiritual), and that has been by far the best advice I've had on medication.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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May 30, 2012
Messages
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Location
small town Ontario, Canada
You've stood up and cared as much as you could. Drive for the help you need mountaineer and know as much as we love our kids wives, sisters brothers cousins..., sometimes there has to be crisis help.
Sometimes the heart doesn't want too accept our loved ones haved changed forever because of a serious mh condition.and are too afraid to even start asking. As one who has lived with a severely mentally ill person and live now with 2 of three son's similarly ill both now adults And stiill try to stay healthy through it all myself. I know your anguish. :hug1:and your hopes.
 
T

themountaineer

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Nov 4, 2014
Messages
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Journal Update:

Sunday 8th Feb was a very distressful evening, voices had turned negative threatening to kill her, and would do so in a way that no one would know they had done it. Visual hallucinations had started, a black web appearing over things, seeing people on reflections in glass. I videoed this for reference when my wife was trying to get me to listen to the voices coming from the bathroom fan. I believe all of the above was because my wife had an important meeting on Monday.with her employer to discuss her future there as she has been on leave since October.

Monday 9th, still distressed, not eating, hands also starting to hurt. Not in fit state to attend her meeting at work, I cancel my trip to Amsterdam to stay in the UK and look after her, booked GP, then moments before appointment she refused to see GP. Again quite distressed during the evening, spoke with crises line who said she was not in danger and to take her to GP to get her booked into service. Was hallucinating visually and auditory during the evening.

Tuesday 10th, she awake still distressed, booked a home visit from GP, and due to a cock up at the surgery, the home visit did not happen, but she spoke with the GP on the phone and denied she was in distress from voice hearing !!!. Another appoint in place for tomorrow. She eventually ate a sandwich today (It is amazing how hazelnut chocolate spread can break someone in the end ;)) Another appnt booked for tomorrow, she is showing signs of being tired this evening, which is great as last few nights she has been manic and difficult to get her to bed. Let's hope I can get the ball rolling for some help for her tomorrow.

What can you do when you can't get someone to see a medical professional? I wish she could join in here and have someone talk some sense into her. She still feels that this is a spiritual experience and not anything else. And does not want medication, because if that works and she gets better or minimises what she is experiencing, this will validate something else to her that she was either not of sound mind, or that the drugs will block of the line of communication to the spirit world. I feel like my hands are tied, I hope tomorrow she sticks to her word that she will see the gp and get the ball rolling to get some help through this.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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Have you tried approaching this from the other end? If she thinks it is a spiritual experience, it might help to find someone spiritual whom she trusts and will discuss the experiences with. This person could then help her formulate a less all-or-nothing view towards medication. I don't know if such a person exists in your lives but it might be worth a try.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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Location
small town Ontario, Canada
It would have to be an involuntary admission to a psychiatric unit. They would keep her under observation to see what her symptoms are. It's a lot harder to hide symptoms while in hospital than it is to lie about it over the phone. Our system in Canada here is different than UK but I've had to have police assist me with involuntary addmissions several times in the past, because I know there will be a fight over my boys having to go in and them not being aware of how bad their symptoms are. It's for their protection and the hospital staff protection as well to have the police involved at times like this.

On rare occassions I've managed to talk them into going into the emergency department to be checked, to "prove me wrong" and them self admitting when symptoms are really bad. Not sure if you could manage getting her into an ER or not. I've had to trick one of my boys once into thinking we were going somewhere else but driving strait to the psych hospital instead. They were kind enough that time to meet us outside with a gurney and take him in strait away through a side entrance rather than wheel him through emergency and all the waiting rooms.

I always try to phone in advance so they know I am coming, with security(police), or to make sure security is available, so they have a room ready and a doctor available to see them immediately, or ambulances if need be as our Psychiatric Hospital Unit is a forty minute drive and in a separate hospital from our small town hospital.

Sometimes it is impossible to rationalize with the ill person when symptoms are very disorganized and thoughts and delusions are so irrational they and you are no longer able to communicate.

She won't like it and may be angry for quite a while, she will keep saying "she's fine" but she really needs close observation of all her symptoms and for them to run physical symptom tests as well to rule out any physical causes. She needs medical staff observing in order for them to diagnose her properly and to prescribe the right medications. Usual observation time here where I live is 72hour hold, With most admissions I've had to make, they are usually home one to two weeks, the longest admission was 4 months because one of my boys wasn't responding well to medications and needed to be switched 3 times while in hospital. Luckily they've both been stable over a year now. So I don't go through that anymore and aftercare is ongoing for both boys.

It's really common for people with sever mh when fully symptomatic to lie about their symptoms, or not know/feel there is anything wrong and one of the reasons why it's so important, that they do need an advocate to speak on their behalf while at the hospital or in the presense of crisis team units when they arrive. Her symptoms at this point are beyond gp help and I think you really need to have her with a psychiatrist in charge of her care in my opinion and in observation at the very least to be able to stabilize her so she can function at home again. Hope you are taking care of yourself too, it's incredibly distressing for you as well and you do need to give yourself little breaks from it when you can.

Hopefully someone else on here can advise on how it works for involuntary addmissions where you live. (It doesn't show on your avatar where you are) Hope this helps a bit anyway. Let us know how it goes.
 
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T

themountaineer

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I tried to find a spiritual guide, but was very difficult to find one, google shows up some interesting results !. However the other day I did arrange through a friend someone trusted to visit us tomorrow evening. Apparently he can quickly assess if this is a spiritual experience or other, and can offer guidance from there. Even if it is purely spiritual, it is consuming her life to the extent that she cannot work or leave the house, so she said she no longer wants this "gift".

Have you tried approaching this from the other end? If she thinks it is a spiritual experience, it might help to find someone spiritual whom she trusts and will discuss the experiences with. This person could then help her formulate a less all-or-nothing view towards medication. I don't know if such a person exists in your lives but it might be worth a try.
 
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