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My wife is bipolar

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Hannibal123

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My wife is bipolar and she goes on her manic ride for many hours including suicide threat and then all of a sudden she gets normal in 2 or 3 mins and then she wants me to be normal as if nothing happened. She is so precious for me and i can't afford to lose her never ever. Its just i need to handle myself better so that i don't end up leaving her. I get lots of thoughts of leaving her sometimes but i feel like i need to get better in handling the roller coaster. Any suggestions so that i can get better in dealing with this.
 
calypso

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Hiya and Welcome to the forum. There is a book written by relatives of people with bipolar which is excellent called "Bipolar the Ultimate Guide" which you can get on Amazon. I would suggest that it might help you.

It seems strange that she cycles so quickly and that is worrying. Is she on medication to help her with this?
 
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Hannibal123

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She convinced me that without the meds she feels better than before and thats why i supported her on her decision of quitting the meds.
 
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Hannibal123

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She tells me that she is better than her teenage days when she says it was "worst" and she thinks that she is better off the meds. But what i feel like she didn't change and its just i feel like i have to handle her better but even after taking good care of her "triggers" and signs ,she still gets back to her extreme manic side often. Trying to handle her to get her back from her manic side and failing eventually makes me depressed and often i feel like i might get psychological problems from this. But she is precious to me and i dont want to either lose her or my sanity.
 
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JacobCl86

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if she thinks that she can do it without drugs, then she is deeply mistaken; she had better go to the doctor until she is completely ill.. Good luck!
 
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Hiya and Welcome to the forum. There is a book written by relatives of people with bipolar which is excellent called "Bipolar the Ultimate Guide" which you can get on Amazon. I would suggest that it might help you.

It seems strange that she cycles so quickly and that is worrying. Is she on medication to help her with this?
What I found, in my earlier days being bipolar was that was period helped make me cycle really quickly. Every month, without fail, I’d get crazy manic. A full moon made it worse tenfold. I kid you not. Now my manic episodes have mellowed out substantially especially since I no longer cycle.

Maybe try and talk with her when she’s in a calmer state. If you have a phone camera, perhaps record her and when she’s in a calm relaxed state, show her what she’s like.

Sometimes we need to really see what we are like when we aren’t in that manic state to truly get it.
It’s sort of like when you record your own voice for the first time and can’t believe it’s you.

Sorry but that’s all I’ve got. 😔
Wishing you the best
She’s a lucky woman to have a caring man like you. 🥰
 
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Hannibal123

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What I found, in my earlier days being bipolar was that was period helped make me cycle really quickly. Every month, without fail, I’d get crazy manic. A full moon made it worse tenfold. I kid you not. Now my manic episodes have mellowed out substantially especially since I no longer cycle.

Maybe try and talk with her when she’s in a calmer state. If you have a phone camera, perhaps record her and when she’s in a calm relaxed state, show her what she’s like.

Sometimes we need to really see what we are like when we aren’t in that manic state to truly get it.
It’s sort of like when you record your own voice for the first time and can’t believe it’s you.

Sorry but that’s all I’ve got. 😔
Wishing you the best
She’s a lucky woman to have a caring man like you. 🥰
Thank you Keesha. And i will try your idea🙂👍🏻
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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welcome to the forum x im really glad you joined the forum because you need support too x
you are very welcome here and I hope you find this place useful
love Lu xxx
 
JessisMe

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She tells me that she is better than her teenage days when she says it was "worst" and she thinks that she is better off the meds. But what i feel like she didn't change and its just i feel like i have to handle her better but even after taking good care of her "triggers" and signs ,she still gets back to her extreme manic side often. Trying to handle her to get her back from her manic side and failing eventually makes me depressed and often i feel like i might get psychological problems from this. But she is precious to me and i dont want to either lose her or my sanity.
It is clear how much you care for her but it also seems like you do an awful lot of caretaking that she should be doing herself. Part of any illness is learning to manage that illness so that it doesn’t become a problem for yourself or others. Many folks with bipolar like being off their meds because manias do actually feel good. Stability with bipolar often means depression. Manias can be extremely destructive, however. I would look out for your interests in this relationship and encourage her to get on the meds that have been recommended to her and learn some additional coping skills to help her manage her own affairs and be less dependent on you. You might not always be able to be available to take care of her and caregiver burnout is real.
 
Tawny

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Those with bipolar disorder can be very good at convincing their husbands that they are better without medication/well/just a bit stressed/tired. It is actually very important for some people with bipolar disorder that they take their medication as prescribed.

It is important you encourage her to take her medication or see her psychiatrist. It is not just her ability to deal with her illness but yours. Your life matters too and your life is better when she is well.

Sometimes a person can be encouraged to take a bit of their medication initially, to help them feel a bit better. You could try saying that to her so she can gain a bit more perspective.

Medication is restrictive if a person is used to the wild swings of bipolar but those swings can become worse and worse and can result in suicide. If she is thinking about suicide even some of the time, then it is important she sees a doctor or takes her medication again. Many people with this illness kill themselves and it must be taken seriously.
 
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Notalwaysever

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She is very lucky that you care about and support her. I agree with the others though, if she is bipolar she needs to be taking medication. There is a lot of trial and error with finding the right meds and sometime during that process she may have been on stuff that did make her worse but once she is on the right medications it will be much better. Those are very fast cycles, even for bipolar II, she really needs to see a doctor.

I thinK the best thing you can do it become well educated on her condition. Be as involved in her treatment as she will allow. The better you understand her the better you will be able to cope.
 
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Hannibal123

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I talked about meds with her and she cried and said that that makes her numb . She also said that she thought that i am the only person who wont force her about meds but now i m doing it and thats why she got sad and cried and cried. I don't know what to do. Should i force her much or should i let her be going through her manics like usual?
 
Tawny

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She might be crying because she is not well?

It is not about forcing but helping her to see what is happening. If you keep a record of current symptoms each day then she will see what is happening. When not well, it is hard to tell what is happening as everything is confusing and a blur.

If she cannot manage her symptoms herself and protect you from having to cope with them too, then should get help from the psychiatrist.

If you can cope with her when unwell, then it is your decision and if you cannot, you have to tell her and then she can decide what to do regarding medication. It is draining being unwell and draining caring.

You could do a weekly review together to discuss what is going on and not mention it in between that time. Sunday at 1pm say, a discussion scheduled.
 
Antimatter

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Well it has all been said, so no need for me to repeat it. She is blessed to have you x
 
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Hannibal123

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Thank you @Atimatter. Its just she is precious and we humans have only like 70-80 years to live. And its best when we live with our best person no matter what. So yes i will be there with her always. And its just i will have to get better with better knowledge of the problems she is facing and help her with that👍🏻
 

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