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My Voices *trigger, briefly mentions SH*

L

linaw

Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2016
Messages
14
I have six voices now plus hallucinations. Him and he ( I can't bring myself to say their names) are cruel to me 24/7. Laughing voices do just that and laugh at me. Dolly is a little girl that cries and begs me to help her. Calm voice, he has such a calm and relaxing voice, but constantly tells me to SH and to kill myself. A new voice started about 2 weeks ago, they just whistle, but its songs I can't stand.
Sometimes they will all speak over each other, other times just one or two at a time. I also started several weeks ago with hallucinations. At first these happened once a week, now they can happen anything up to 20 times a day. I also see spiders and feel them crawling on me when there is nothing there. I have also had tactile hallucinations where I feel someone's hands around my neck.

I am on medication, 30mg Aripiprazole, 800mg lithium, 210mg Lofepramine, I also take clonazepam as required.

All this happens 24/7, I get very little sleep and I am struggling to function.

I get very traumatised by it all and end up S/H. I fantasise about ending my life just to make it all stop. I have no one to confide in other than my mental health team.

Dont really know why I am posting this, think I just wanted to get it off my chest.
 
Bod

Bod

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TOTALLY FANTASTIC
I don't hear voices but I do get intrusive thoughts about self harming and I have to sort them out quickly too by trying to think of some good times or put music on to help calm me down. Please don't hurt your self as we care here and it will pass.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi Linaw,
Please call your crisis team if your under one. I'm so sorry you are struggling.



It may help to have a look at these two pages on the forum: Suicidal Crisis and Mental Health Forum - Getting Help about what to do if you're feeling suicidal, or if you need emergency help. I hope you can use the forum for support during this difficult time.

If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.
 
L

linaw

Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2016
Messages
14
Thank you, I am safe. Have SH today but nothing that requires any medical attention.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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You have so much to cope with, I'm so sorry you have this to endure.

Over time, people say there are quieter periods. I don't think it is the same always with your illness so maybe you will get a break soon.

Hang on there
You are not alone in this
 
W

wellness

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Aug 11, 2010
Messages
527
Location
UK
@linaw --
Please don't think of harming yourself on account of The Voices it's not worth doing an inch of harm to yourself. The Voices are what they are .... I have a cluster of them that I have labelled as the she-she fools -- they just go on ad nauseaum making this she-she sound all the time at first it was really irritating then I used my technique of IGNORING them and all's well ....
These Voices I just can't imagine where they derive such maliciousness .... but in the end it's NOT worth harming yourself or wasting your life on account of them....
Develop your deep strength to deal with the Voices and use their negativity to build your own strength .... like some form of mental strength training !!!
Develop the Power to just IGNORE all that they have to say !!! It's some form of Schizophrenia or manic shit !!!!
All the best !!!
 
L

linaw

Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2016
Messages
14
Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply to me. I am trying so hard to refrain from self harm, it's not what I want at all, just sometimes,i feel so desperate.

I am trying so many self help techniques to try and block out the voices, but sadly,as yet, nothing is really working for me. As a result my mood is at rock bottom and all my symptoms of PTSD are also traumatizing me.

I am waiting to have ECT to see if that lifts my mood, not sure how that will help when I have so many symptoms that drag me down (voices, hallucinations, flashbacks, self harming)

It's just so horrible. I know some people have suggested just ignoring them, I dont seem to be able to do that because they are constant, I wish more than anything that I could.

I am currently having CBT around the voices and I guess that has made them a little bit worse at the moment because I am not use to talking about them, this is the first time I have ever gone on a forum and discussed them.

Thanks for reading xxxx
 
J

jerseyguy77

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Dec 20, 2015
Messages
30
I always found it difficult to try and ignore the voices to….same here, the bombardment of voices was too constant. But I did start to develop this ability almost by instinct over time. For me it was the content of what they were saying and my reaction to it that was the obstacle. I had to deal with that first , then the ability to ignore them started to develop on its own.

The voices lied to me so much…..changed their stories, contradicted themselves so much……their words just started to lose all meaning (whatever meaning I may have given them previously). It became more than obvious to me that they’d say pretty much anything to get a reaction out of me…..literally anything.

So my mind (perhaps on a more subconscious level) just became very indifferent to what they were saying…..the content…..because I knew is was all BS. They would always set me up with some story line and then pull the rug out from under my feet….so I stopped going along with it. I was done…..whatever I heard from them ….my first reaction was that it was total BS and nothing worth hearing. If they told me some story, I figured it was almost certainly a lie and I placed no value in it whatsoever.

If they insulted me…..well they were the ones acting like evil sadist….so why should I care about their opinion?

It took some time, but I just became so indifferent to the content of the voices that the ability to ignore them just started to develop on its own. I’ve gotten pretty good at directing my focus away from them. It doesn’t always silence them completely…..but it fades them into faint chatter in the background….and I can’t make out the content much of the time.

They do things like shout in my ears at night….or stunts like that to grab my attention these days……they lost a lot of power when I became indifferent to the content….so they resort to desperate stunts. But yeah, I didn’t think I’d be able to ignore them either…..but for me addressing my reaction to the content is what made a difference with this. Keep at it and stay strong.
 
W

wellness

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Aug 11, 2010
Messages
527
Location
UK
@jerseyguy77 -- It is not straight-forward to IGNORE the Voices -- they come at you with more intensity seeking attention when you ignore them .... these are some factors you need to be aware of and not succumb to the pressure.
Also IGNORING them is a bit of a skill that you need to develop and strengthen over time .... as you try and persist on IGNORING them your powers and ability to IGNORE will grow stronger with time ... its not a miracle that happens overnight it does take some time and effort ....
 
L

linaw

Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2016
Messages
14
@jerseyguy77 -- It is not straight-forward to IGNORE the Voices -- they come at you with more intensity seeking attention when you ignore them .... these are some factors you need to be aware of and not succumb to the pressure.
Also IGNORING them is a bit of a skill that you need to develop and strengthen over time .... as you try and persist on IGNORING them your powers and ability to IGNORE will grow stronger with time ... its not a miracle that happens overnight it does take some time and effort ....
I wouldnt know how to ignore them without them becoming even louder and intensifying and I couldn't cope with that, I'm struggling already with them 😔😔😔😔
 
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