My Uncle Attacked Me - What's Wrong with Him?

S

Snowball

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Joined
Aug 27, 2015
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#1
Hi

I'm not sure if this is in the right place so if not please move it to where it fits best.

I need some help understand what is wrong with my uncle and as he'll never get professional help, I thought I'd try here...

On Saturday night my uncle had been for a drink with my grandad (not drunk). I was in bed and I heard my mother and my uncle's voices and my uncle aggressively shouting at her. (For context I'm in my 20's, my uncle is 50 and I'm at home looking after my grandparents). I came downstairs and he was shouting at her threatening to kill her. I put my hand out to get between them saying never ever say that to my mother and the next thing I know he's launched himself at me clawing at my eyes and cut my lip and ripping my hair out with the other hand and cut my head. He tried to throw me to the floor and smacked my head on the door on the way down. I'm a 5'2" 9 stone female and he's a 21 stone man, for more context. My mother was trying to protect me and with his other hand he was grabbing her by the throat. I ended up punching him (hard enough to get him to stop but not to hurt him) and fell to the floor crying/shaking with shock over what the hell happened.

Throughout the entire attack he had crazy eyes and kept shouting at us, crazy stuff. I.e. earlier this week I took him to the hospital cause I was concerned about a health issue he had asked me for help with and I said how could you do this to me (from the floor) when I was the one holding your hand for blood tests and getting you help and he screamed ''YOU ONLY DID THAT FOR ATTENTION, YOU DON''T LOVE ME. EVERYTHING ALLLLLLWAYS ABOUT YOU''....which doesn't make any sense as I'd rather do anything else than spend an evening in A & E.

He's always been jealous of my mother and had some ridiculously petty issue with the fact she exists (she's literally never done anything to him, only ever stood up for him and protected him). Until the other night I had no idea he felt the same way.

The next morning I expected him to be horrified but he's going round telling other family members *I* attacked *him* and my mother 'set me on him'. He's absolutely deranged. He insists I started it and he did nothing. He also thinks what he did is okay apparently. It said even more that he won't apologise and doesn't think he needs to. I'm just beyond stunned and hurt and most of all disgusted. No normal man would think it's okay to attack a woman

He kept saying some really crazy things like how Im ''jealous'' of my grandma with dementia because the attention isn't on me etc and kept repeating how everything is about me (he doesn't even know me, the only thing we talk about is my grandparents deteriorating health...and in fact his parents would be dead now if it wasn't for my interventions health wise).

Oh he also said ''You punched me! You don't love me, how could you do this to me?!'....and later I was thinking are you fing kidding me?! You attacked your tiny woman niece and YOU are the only outraged I defended myself?

When my mother pointed out about me being the one who looked after him earlier re hospital his response was nothing to do with me, only ''BUT YOU WEREN'T WERE YOU, YOU COULDN'T GIVE A F--K!''...yet continually shouts how 'everything is about you (me or my mother)'. It was just nuts, all you could see were the whites of his eyes and the stuff he was screaming didn't make sense. I called him a nutcase as I was shaking on the floor and he screamed back "NO YOU'RE THE NUTCASE, THAT'S YOU, YOU'RE THE NUTCASE!". Anything he said we did was something *he* does. He also just lied and said mum was bias about saying he attacked me first and she was lying ?! It was seriously disturbing to witness

I don't understand where it came from or why he thinks it's okay to assault me or my mother. Over the years he's had my mother by the throat before, including once when my grandma had fallen over and was bleeding he still carried on doing that to my mother.

He doesn't have a family of his own bar us and he's almost pathologically obsessed with my grandma. Not in a sexual way thank god, but he couldn't be further wedged up a certain orifice of hers if he tried. She does need taking care of but my mother and I do that too and he's not the same with my frail grandfather. He's always been a mummy's boy and nothing's ever changed. It's almost like he's trapped at 4 years old but with his mental behaviour and huge size that's a dangerous combination. He's also never had a girlfriend. He confided in me on Tuesday at the hospital that idiots film him in the street and take photo because he's fat (I was enraged) so I felt really protective over him.

The warped part is although there's no coming back from what he did to me, I still feel sorry for him and protective of him and don't want anyone to hurt him like that. But then...he chose to do that to me and thinks it's alright apparently. We always knew he was capable of being a petty prick ad picking fights/being aggressive to my mother but we never saw it coming him doing that to me. I literally don't know how to process it or digest what happened

I've never done anything but love him so I'm beyond shock that he's done this to me. My head/face has a 3 inch cut across it and have his nail marks in my head.

I'm sure I've missed out stuff but I'm just so drained/still in shock....If you have ANY insight into what might be wrong with him, please post. Nothing excuses it but I have to understand what mental illness/personality disorder could be at work...
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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May 30, 2012
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small town Ontario, Canada
#2
Regardless of his reasons or any illness he may have, this is completely unacceptable and should be reported to the police as soon as possible. He needs to be held accountable for his actions period. I am so so so sorry this happened to you. Report him to the authorities this cannot be allowed to continue regardless of his reasoning. You need to protect yourself and your mother.
 
Nikita

Nikita

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Jun 20, 2015
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#3
Not everyone who s violent is mentally ill.Your uncle is just resentful, angry and violent.Why do you have to stick a label on him that gives you another explanation.I don't think he is mentally ill,just aggressive,maybe he had too much to drink,maybe he resents his sister has a family and he doesn't maybe he is frustrated that he never had a girlfriend.It angers me as soon as someone does something violent or behaviorally out there relatives want the mentally ill explanation, that is not it!
 
Kerome

Kerome

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Sep 29, 2013
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Europe
#4
It sounds a bit delusional, but lots of people have strange or fixed beliefs which they will resist changing at any cost (cf the doctrine of materialism). So perhaps it is a little mental health related, but he may not necessarily have a condition which a psychiatrist would diagnose.