My thoughts...

Yodagirl

Yodagirl

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2019
Messages
108
Location
Georgia USA
#1
I feel like everyone deserves to be happy. And at the end of the day that might not be with your partner. Love isn’t enough to keep a relationship going. We deserve passion, intimacy, romance, compassion, and the person actually taking interest in us as a human being and not just a wife or mother. I often find myself feeling I deserve so much more... Am I the only one that feels this way??
 
Victorianna

Victorianna

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 8, 2019
Messages
422
Location
California, USA
#2
While I do agree, I think marriage goes in cycles. In the beginning, you have all that, but as children come along and time goes on, it becomes harder to keep that going all the time.
I’ve been married 23 years and there are times when I’m madly in love, and times when I’m ready to leave. My husband is much more even in his temperament. I think that’s why we’ve lasted!
When I talk to my husband about wanting more - intimacy, conversation - whatever - he just kind of shuts down, as I think he feels it’s a criticism of him that he’s not making it happen.
A much more effective approach for me is to just behave towards him how I’d like to be treated. Like, ask if your partner wants to go for a walk, play a board game, cuddle on the couch and talk. Hopefully, you’ll start reconnecting. It works to a certain extent for me. But also I have to see that his way of expressing love is different from mine. So, the fact he fills the gas tank in my car is his way of showing he cares for me!
 
honeybadger

honeybadger

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2019
Messages
163
Location
US West Coast
#3
I feel like everyone deserves to be happy. And at the end of the day that might not be with your partner. Love isn’t enough to keep a relationship going. We deserve passion, intimacy, romance, compassion, and the person actually taking interest in us as a human being and not just a wife or mother. I often find myself feeling I deserve so much more... Am I the only one that feels this way??
Deserve??? How human of you.
 
Victorianna

Victorianna

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 8, 2019
Messages
422
Location
California, USA
#5
Honeybadger likes to troll, but sometimes they will actually give advice. I’m not sure what their game is. Best just to ignore.
 
Yodagirl

Yodagirl

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2019
Messages
108
Location
Georgia USA
#6
While I do agree, I think marriage goes in cycles. In the beginning, you have all that, but as children come along and time goes on, it becomes harder to keep that going all the time.
I’ve been married 23 years and there are times when I’m madly in love, and times when I’m ready to leave. My husband is much more even in his temperament. I think that’s why we’ve lasted!
When I talk to my husband about more - intimacy, conversation - whatever - he just kind of shuts down, as I think he feels it’s a criticism of him that he’s not making it happen.
A much more effective approach for me is to just behave towards him how I’d like to be treated. Like, ask if your partner wants to go for a walk, play a board game, cuddle on the couch and talk. Hopefully, you’ll start reconnecting. It works to a certain extent for me. But also I have to see that his way of expressing love is different from mine. So, the fact he fills the gas tank in my car is his way of showing he cares for me!
Thanks so much for the Advice! After 14 years of marriage and 4 Children it definitely gets hard to keep all that going. But I’ve definitely felt like our marriage has been in cycles. Just have to take the good with the bad and keep working at it. 😊