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My thoughts are running Amok and scaring me

A

achievingbliss1

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Joined
Mar 25, 2020
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1
Location
germany
Hi. I'm a female and 18 years old.
Last year in april, when i was a Senior in high School, we watched a 9/11 documentary in class. Ever since, i've been having draining and hardcore intrusive thoughts.
I didn't know much about 9/11 since it happened the year i was born, and i live in Germany so it wasn't a subject we talked about in class before.
Once i learned about the horrific event that happened that day i just really couldn't stop thinking about it. I kept looking for more information online and watching videos. The planes, the suicides, the explosion, the fear, the sadness, the grief, it was all so overwhelming to me. I would try to stop thinking About it but it woudn't work, the harder i woud block the thoughts or chase them away, the harder they would come back and haunt me. I felt traumatized and kept having flashbacks. I couldn't control my mind and my thoughts and i think about the event EVERYDAY. My friends got over the documentary quickly, told me i should try to do fun things to forget it but it didn't work. Ever since we watched the documentary, i have intrusive thoughts and flashbacks, random graphics of the burning towers appear in my head, i imagine being in one of the towers. It is so weird because i was just 3 months old when it all happened. My thoughts were really dark all april through september 2019 and i began to get better from October 2019 to february 2020 but i'm beginning to have these frightening thoughts again. At first i thought that i was having an existential crisis and learning about death last year, but now i'm just scared and confused. What is wrong with me
I know i ramble a lot but can someone tell me what i'm going through?
 
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calypso

calypso

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Hiya and :welcome: to the forum. I get intrusive thoughts too and they can be overwhelming at times. It can be a mask for anxiety generally though so that is something to think about. I practise Mindfulness. There is no point in trying to chase the thoughts away because as you have found, they just get stronger.

The key is to accept them and just relax with them. By that I mean think about something other than the thoughts ans when they intrude acknowledge they are there then gently pull your mind back to the more pleasant thought. It takes a lot of practise but your brain is in a rut and you need to create a new rut for it to be in. The more pleasant thought is that new rut. But it won't happen all at once, it takes time and patience.

WE have a very brief intro on here to it but you really need to research it on the internet for more indepth understanding of it.

 
D

Darks1de

Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Indiana
They become old hat after a while; you'll get so used to them that they won't bother you as much as they once did. You can try to use logic as a means to counter them, but that only helps so much. The best thing you can do is just let them enter your mind and not react to them. Or as the above poster pointed out, substitute those thoughts with more positive ones.
 
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