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My Therapist says I'm done. But I'm not.

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Findingjoy1795

New member
Joined
Nov 12, 2014
Messages
3
Location
United States
I wasn't sure where to post this, so it's currently in two places.

Female. 19. I have been living with Depression and Anxiety for almost 4 years.

I started college last fall, and things declined rapidly (complicated, but not the point here). To keep it simple, I was doing poorly enough that my therapist (of about a year and a half) recommended I go to an IOP program for a month. Which I did. But during the time that I was in the program, she, for reasons too involved to explain here, decided that she would refuse to see me anymore. I was devastated.

Anyway, I spent the next month and a half-ish trying to find a new therapist, to no avail. Until I finally met one, who I liked from the minute I walked into her office. She’s young and sweet and totally gets me. It’s fantastic. Even so, my depression got worse, other things started coming up, and I (eventually — another long story) ended up in a residential treatment center for 6 weeks. Every Monday night while I was there, states away, my T at home would call me and we’d have a couple minute check-in.

Finally, I came home and resumed therapy again with her. Things were absolutely horrible at first; I was in shock returning to the real world. Two weeks later I started school and I actually started really improving, and even feeling good for the first time in a while. I was seeing my T twice a week, then once a week, then twice a month, and then I just went a whole month without seeing her. I write issues I encounter in my journal in-between our sessions, and we would discuss those during our appointment.

So last week I went to see T, after a month of not doing so. Honestly the month felt like forever, but I made it. So I got into the office and we talked about some issues, and then all of a sudden she started talking about how proud of me she is and how much I’ve improved, and THEN SHE SAYS “you don’t need me anymore” and I literally said “ Don’t say that!” and then she starts talking about how the door is always open to come and blah blah blah and the rest is kind of a blur until I walked out. And that’s when I started sobbing. For the next 24 hours any time I thought about her I pushed her out of my mind. I felt sad and sick and just wanted to ignore it (that’s what I do). Normally I would write this stuff down in a journal to talk about with my T later, but obviously that wasn’t an option at this point.

So what do I do? I’m still completely lost. I feel sick just thinking about this all enough to write it down here. I haven’t been without a therapist (or in a transition between them) for over 2 years plus.
 
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my-straightjacket-please

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 13, 2013
Messages
559
Location
im gone take care email if you want its in my prof
calm down give it a day

my counselor set me back to every two weeks because all that she could help was more temper and marriage

counseling is only so much the rest is us

i was diagnosed bpd with severe ptsd

eventually you have to face life your past and present and come up with a game plan me not let my past destroy me

and lots more it took her and me putting into practice what i was tought

were here for you but slow down step back and make sure its not a addiction to seeing venting or safe talking

anyone can see posts on here but most unless like me distinctive writing skills they dont know who we are

and its a safe talk support place there is a chance you need a new counselor but dont jump until you try things and being on your own we can become codependent on people or things and think its over when we loose them
 
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