So my case is interesting. Short story. Raised as a Jehovah's Witness, left at 13 knowing I was in a cult. Moved state in with sister, didn't work out. Roommates picked me up, met highly intelligent people. Ate psychedelics, started getting into Wicca. "Sold my soul" in words and intention as a rebellious act from religion, thought I had my internal world to myself. Met the inter-dimensionary play pals on mushrooms and ecstasy, started hearing my roommates voice in my head clearly, commenting on what is happening. Went to the hospital, was enrolled or was going to be enrolled in a program for young people who are starting to show psychotic signs. Went crazy, completely lost my mind. Got demons. Fled state back to my hometown before I could start program. Am having a hard time deciphering voices messages, I know they are meaningful. Highly confused, completely messed up over what is happening but not crazy. Every man I've met since I've been back I've had the voice of in my head talking to me. Fighting this all the time. Confused. Non religious. Just really confused but not for no reason and not just simply confused, perpetually puzzled. Worried for my life, alone, sexually frustrated. Voices are real. Speak rights. Was obsessed with schizophrenia as a kid. Wanted to hear voices. Wanted schizophrenia. Got it. Big time. Struggle to know if I willed it into existence but not really. Found out Uncle Tom had schizophrenia. Communicating with other world. Did not clean at roommates house. Was self centered. Still am. Confused. Didn't deserve friends. Am screwed, confused, lonely. Lost my only online lover to paranoia. Willingly, let him go. Karmic debt. Bad person. Self absorbed, narcissistic. No good. False. Hiding. Cursed. Alone. Have a gift. Confused. Voices tell me so. Confused. Voices say that's it that's intelligence. Impossible to understand them. To others. I can. Alone.