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My story

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Timmy86

Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2010
Messages
17
Location
Galway, Ireland
Hello there, my name is Timmy. I'm 23 years old, and suffered from depression for around five years. And I am getting married next Friday.

23 years old? Pretty young to be getting married some may say. But the time is right, I've never been so sure of anything in my life. I've been through some of the toughest moments anyone can experience, and thought about giving it all up. But everything changed when I found the most beautiful woman on this planet, and my life could not be any better right now.

In early 1999, my eldest brother was tragically killed in a construction related accident. My world came crashing down that day, and in spite of having loving parents, two brothers and a sister, I felt my life was over. He was my idol, my best friend, my inspiration and everything I aspired to be. A nice guy, a popular guy and my favourite person in the world to talk to. Now he was gone forever more, and at just 20 years of age. At the age of 12, I had met death in all it's unforgiving nature, and for the next five years, my life was one misery after the next.

I turned to drink at age fifteen. And boy how I did drink. It gave me a release, it told me everything would be okay. But the day after my demons were greater than ever, and multiplied with every session. The only answer was to drink more, temporary as that answer may be.

By late 2003, I was in the pits. It was coming up to my brother's fifth anniversary, something I couldn't get my head around, and I still hadn't dealt with it. Nor was I prepared to. I had so much going for me... I'm told I'm a very good looking bloke, and I had every girl after me. I got on well with everyone. And yet, I felt so empty. I was fully prepared to take my own life... when a miracle came my way.

I'd known Katie since I was about five, and we'd been best friends for as long as I can remember. I always saw her as the most beautiful girl I knew, but it never crossed my mind to be with her. I thought she saw me as a brother. But on one particularly awful night for me, she changed my life.

I received a text. She told me how she felt about me, how she wanted to be with me. And all my Christmases came at once.

We shared our problems, of which she had many. She too lost a sister, to cystic fibrosis. I was gentle with her, I comforted her, and she did the same for me. We helped each other, cried together, laughed together. And I fell madly in love with her.

But at age 18, we got some shocking news. Katie was pregnant. And so, we began to worry again, but this time we had each other. I worked tooth and nail for those nine months, shuffling no less than three part time jobs. All I did was work, and worry about how we would provide for a child. The child itself, nor the joyful expectancy, never came into my mind.

Nothing prepared me for how ground shaking a moment it would be. On the 2nd of December, 2006, Katie presented me the most beautiful little girl. My heart almost melted when I got to hold Chloe for the first time, said hello, and took her tiny little hand in mine. Then it hit me: she was my daughter. I was a daddy. This was my flesh and blood. She would always be beautiful to me just the way she was. And no matter what she did, no matter how much I would disapprove, I would always, always love her.

Thanks to my parents, me and Katie got the support we needed, and both went through college, as they took care of Chloe. Every second I thought of her, and weekends with her were like heaven. No drink in the world could hold a candle to giving her her bottle, changing her nappies, giving her baths, making her laugh, and putting her to bed. My little girl grew older, and learned to walk and talk. Coming home with Katie on Friday evenings, seeing her run to the door and into our hugs made every ounce of suffering go to the back of my mind. And when, for the first time, she said 'I love you Daddy'... well, my life had gone full circle.

And so, me and Katie have well paid jobs now, and live together with our three year old girl. I couldn't be any happier right now. I owe it all to the two most important girls in my life.

My advice? Please, please, don't take the ultimate step. All you leave are problems. You never know what's just around the corner. And you never know when you'll be as lucky as me, writing as a father, and a husband in waiting.
 
BORTU

BORTU

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 4, 2010
Messages
1,449
Location
SW England
Hello Timmy,

It was sad to read about your brother. I too lost and older brother, but this was as an adult, but it is still hard.

But the rewarding news is about Katie and Chloe, you lucky young man..
 
B

Blondie

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
396
Location
Lancashire
Hello Timmy.Your life story made me sad and smile.My 17 year old daughter has a terminal illness which is degenerative (see justgiving) so to some degree I can understand the tragic loss of your brother.Like you used to do, I dread the future and see a life time of grief ahead of me.But your life has turned around so beautifully and I am so sure your brother is smiling down on you to hun.I'm glad you are on here to help others now,you are a very special person Timmy xx
 
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Timmy86

Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2010
Messages
17
Location
Galway, Ireland
I wouldn't go that far :p but thanks all the same for that lovely comment. Baby number two is on it's way in March, exciting times.
 
A

Allyke

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 2, 2010
Messages
1,755
I'm so sorry about your brother...i cannot imagine how devastating that must have been...but i'm so happy for you now with your daughter and your fiancee...and baby number two, congratulations! I wish you all the best for a wonderful marriage and a beautiful family xx
 
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cfb107

Guest
Hi Timmy

I have depression and anxiety. Welcome!

I am supposed to be getting married next year. Have the most wonderful boyfriend (my family can't believe he's for real!) but recently the unit I was referred to for treatment raised some concerns about the wedding - that I may not be able to handle getting married & having treatment - and it has totally thrown me off in regards to the wedding. Freaking out about the whole thing at the moment (wedding / treatment)!!

It is wonderful to hear someone so positive and congratulations on your lovely family. I don't think you're young to get married!

Best of luck for your wedding x
 
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Timmy86

Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2010
Messages
17
Location
Galway, Ireland
I've got a three and a half month old girl at home, Becky :) an angel. I'm a bit surrounded by women now though :p
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 12, 2010
Messages
36,676
Location
8,539
Hi Timmy, welcome back to the site.

Congrats on new babs. :)
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,625
Yes congratulations on the new baby girl, I read your story and was really touched, there can be hope for us all.

KS
 
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Timmy86

Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2010
Messages
17
Location
Galway, Ireland
Hi Timmy, welcome back to the site.

Congrats on new babs. :)
Thanks Mayfair :) (edit: thanks KS also) living in a woman's world right now, three ladies versus one man, lol. But I wouldn't have it any other way I suppose! Cos I love my girls :)
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,625
Thats great :)
 

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