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My story over 17 months(Drug induced psycosis)

Sammyjames97

Sammyjames97

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2018
Messages
12
#1
Hey im new on here just thought id put my story on here.

Firstly il put a bit about me, I've just turned 22 this month, im a quiet guy who used to be an avid video gamer. I suffered with depression for a few years and ended up becoming a raver who smoked weed and did a lot of ecstacy and drank because it made me feel better and more sociable and confident.

I ended up going to university about 26 months ago and had 8 months of mad parties, i didnt really attend because of stress and anxiety and instead just took the time to do drugs and enjoy independence away from home. It was all good in the end I had enjoyed my year quite healthily other than believing my flat mates had set up a camera, i was able to deal with this idea with confidence and ended up getting used to the idea of the uni halls watching me from in my room, I decided to drop out and planned to move in to a house with my new raver friends i had made up there and get a job instead.
When moving in the second week of being in my new house i started hearing voices, they were claiming they were aliens and I was special, that they needed my emotional and physical pain, i was to create my own future in some sort of symbiotic relationship with them where I could get money, a girlfriend and happiness in exchange for life's downs and physical pain. I also started experiencing words pop into my head, like something had full control over my mind. The voices said it was my friend who was a psychic and predicted an event which came true.
Within a few days I was believing the whole street was speaking to me while on way to a boxing class and they knew my future. I ended up believing i was going to save someone's life from knife attackers. Later that day I blacked out and my friend had turned to my mom for guidance as I was acting strange. I apparently collapsed and had a mini heart attack and was taken to hospital. While in there the words told me I was the son of God and the voices were saying "he's here.... oooooo" not long after waking up the words told me I was being poisoned and had to escape. I decided to try leave but It was a locked ward.
I felt intense power come over me like I was supernatural and broke some magnet locked doors to escape onto the streets. The police came in the end and sectioned me to be detained for a month. While in a more secure ward i belived my family were reptilian aliens and they were out to get me. I ended up calling my grandma 378 years old and telling her to fuck off.
Shortly after i was throwing chairs and trying to escape a room they locked me in to keep themselves safe. In the end a security guy took me down and put me in isolation for 3 days.
I was taken home to another hospital so i could be back with my family and from then on I believed I was Jesus with a future like john sheperd off the 'mass effect' video game series, here to wipe out evil aliens in my own created future which I was a hero in a great space war, for months i felt iscolated and alone, i believed i was the only human amongst reptilians for thousands of miles, I was told by voices my pills would stop me hearing them, so i decided to not take them after a month or so as I liked it at the time and believed it would toughen me up. The voices got a tiny bit louder but stayed levelled from then on. For months i was told id be abducted or killed and all sorts of nasty stuff but somehow managed to brave through it and continue my drug use and rave while back home.
During this period i started to believe the devil was involved in all this. While seeing a friend i ended up meeting an understanding girlfriend who has been with me for 10 months, at the time i believed she was some alien hybrid, i didnt care though as she was nice, within a couple of months of meeting her my citalopram had effected my erections and I decided to stop them, shortly after I went psychotic again and was under the impression the seven deadly sins were reptilian tempters and they were after me, i was walking around with a pen knife ready to defend myself and believed I had made world peace through my compassion towards aliens.
Time went on and I was up and down with delusions and paranoia but eventually I believed i was possessed by demons and actually the son of Zeus here to take on an evil demon in a boxing match.
I was apparently speaking other languages and acting psychotic at this point and since here ive been believing i change souls and have about 10 or more demon personalities. I've also been under the impression my girlfriend is Delilah and I'm actually Samson the nazarite reincarnated. I've been paranoid for months thinking if I'm not keeping an eye on her she will cheat on me with higher dimensional aliens or demons that will fly into our bedroom when I'm not around. Luckily over the last couple of months ive been prescribed a new medication as ive decided i can't continue to feel so shit, i guess im just too proud to take these antipsychotics that make you so tired and overwieght, this new stuff ended up making me suicidal at first and I was calling Satan weak to hope he would kill me, or at least try. But shortly afterwards i began to feel better. Right now I'm stabilising looking back on it all wondering if il continue to get better or if my life will be full of paranoia and delusions from here on out.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

Well-known member
Joined
May 6, 2017
Messages
226
Location
Sheffiield
#2
That's quite a story, your voices seem very imaginative just like mine were in the early days until I decided to stop believing what they said and make up my own mind on what they were and what they wanted.

Medication will help and your voices won't like it and will try and get you to come off them or give you thoughts of suicide, mine kept saying poison pills, poison pills but they're not, they will lower the volume of your voices aswell as preventing them from doing other things to you like cause pain.

Keep up the good work and take care!