N
Neverwin
Member
Hello,
I have decided to share my nightmare story of battling voices for almost 2 years. I will try to give an honest and complete account of my experience. I suspect that I will have to break it down into multiple post over a period of time to achieve that. During this time I only told 4 or 5 people about what was going on and even then not with much detail. I never saw a doctor or took any medications. I didn't read anything online about what was happening to me except for one forum post I skimmed over about someone who was experiencing similar things at that moment of time. In fact I spent a majority of my time while the voices were at thier worst alone on my very rural 10 acres of land. My voices have recently stopped nearly completely. The past couple of days Ive heard just a few comments and very quietly to the point I can't really hear them at all. It has slowly but surely progressed to this point like a bell curve. They will be 100% gone for good very soon. Through this experience I believe I have come to understand what happened to me and why it happened to me. I would like to share my conclusion with you all first.
I believe that a combination of things happened at the same time. I was struggling with addiction to subutex that I started abusing to get off the opiates I was hooked on after a car wreck tore my leg off. I couldn't stop taking the subutex which ended up breaking down my spirit and will. I wanted to stop but I couldn't and I felt horrible. I had an opportunity presents itself to use free amphetamines in order to help me get passed the sub withdrawals. This was a HUGE mistake although I actually did succeed in stopping the sub which was my main goal. I did this while I was at work Directional Drilling oilwells in the field. Ok... So broken down will.. high stress will ring environment.. stress of the amphetamines and withdrawals.. the devil was winning. He had slowly and methodically lured me into a weakened state of being. This opened a door to demonic spirits being able to establish a foothold within me. I first heard voices while paying awake in my rig bunk room trying to sleep. It was a co workers voice arguing with another co worker about me losing my job. It sounded like it was right outside my window. It was to real and I got up and went to find the co worker who was sleeping on the couch. This
led my mind to theorize how this could be. How was he sleeping on the couch when he was just outside yelling at someone.. my mind struggled to comprehend. I got suspicious even paranoid to a point about what was going on. Was this person messing with me somehow? I woke him up and asked him if he was just outside yelling.. he said no of course. I decided it was do to the drugs or being to tired and moved on from it. I didn't hear them again for a good few weeks at least. Looking back on this I see now that I was being felt out by the evil spirits of the unseen world.. a test run to gather intel and formulate a plan to cause maximum chaos and confusion. A team effort by the devil and his demons had taken place overtime in my life that had brought me to this point. I had no idea what I was in for. I also had no idea what was really happening. Just theories and lies that begin to flood in as my mind tried to cope with and understand what was taking place. The original stronghold idea of this is a person messing with me stayed a central idea throughout the entire experience. Had someone planted a speaker. In some way or another my mind would produce some idea that enlisted some way that some person was messing with me somehow. I eventually became convinced that someone had cast a witchcraft spell on me for revenge and it had let loose these demons on me. That's how it really gets you. The evil reinforces the beliefs and seemingly logical thoughts or ideas that you come up with. This leads you into insanity because it causes itself to become real in your own mind. A sinister strategy to say the least. The voices slowly but surely increased in frequency. Like a bell curve spanning 2 years it reached a peak and started back down overtime. It actually continued to get worse.. much worse after I stopped all drug usage and stayed sober for months. This is because It had gained its foothold on me. It wasn't going to leave and be over without a fight. A war.. a holy war where the mind is the battlefield... To be continued...
I have decided to share my nightmare story of battling voices for almost 2 years. I will try to give an honest and complete account of my experience. I suspect that I will have to break it down into multiple post over a period of time to achieve that. During this time I only told 4 or 5 people about what was going on and even then not with much detail. I never saw a doctor or took any medications. I didn't read anything online about what was happening to me except for one forum post I skimmed over about someone who was experiencing similar things at that moment of time. In fact I spent a majority of my time while the voices were at thier worst alone on my very rural 10 acres of land. My voices have recently stopped nearly completely. The past couple of days Ive heard just a few comments and very quietly to the point I can't really hear them at all. It has slowly but surely progressed to this point like a bell curve. They will be 100% gone for good very soon. Through this experience I believe I have come to understand what happened to me and why it happened to me. I would like to share my conclusion with you all first.
I believe that a combination of things happened at the same time. I was struggling with addiction to subutex that I started abusing to get off the opiates I was hooked on after a car wreck tore my leg off. I couldn't stop taking the subutex which ended up breaking down my spirit and will. I wanted to stop but I couldn't and I felt horrible. I had an opportunity presents itself to use free amphetamines in order to help me get passed the sub withdrawals. This was a HUGE mistake although I actually did succeed in stopping the sub which was my main goal. I did this while I was at work Directional Drilling oilwells in the field. Ok... So broken down will.. high stress will ring environment.. stress of the amphetamines and withdrawals.. the devil was winning. He had slowly and methodically lured me into a weakened state of being. This opened a door to demonic spirits being able to establish a foothold within me. I first heard voices while paying awake in my rig bunk room trying to sleep. It was a co workers voice arguing with another co worker about me losing my job. It sounded like it was right outside my window. It was to real and I got up and went to find the co worker who was sleeping on the couch. This
led my mind to theorize how this could be. How was he sleeping on the couch when he was just outside yelling at someone.. my mind struggled to comprehend. I got suspicious even paranoid to a point about what was going on. Was this person messing with me somehow? I woke him up and asked him if he was just outside yelling.. he said no of course. I decided it was do to the drugs or being to tired and moved on from it. I didn't hear them again for a good few weeks at least. Looking back on this I see now that I was being felt out by the evil spirits of the unseen world.. a test run to gather intel and formulate a plan to cause maximum chaos and confusion. A team effort by the devil and his demons had taken place overtime in my life that had brought me to this point. I had no idea what I was in for. I also had no idea what was really happening. Just theories and lies that begin to flood in as my mind tried to cope with and understand what was taking place. The original stronghold idea of this is a person messing with me stayed a central idea throughout the entire experience. Had someone planted a speaker. In some way or another my mind would produce some idea that enlisted some way that some person was messing with me somehow. I eventually became convinced that someone had cast a witchcraft spell on me for revenge and it had let loose these demons on me. That's how it really gets you. The evil reinforces the beliefs and seemingly logical thoughts or ideas that you come up with. This leads you into insanity because it causes itself to become real in your own mind. A sinister strategy to say the least. The voices slowly but surely increased in frequency. Like a bell curve spanning 2 years it reached a peak and started back down overtime. It actually continued to get worse.. much worse after I stopped all drug usage and stayed sober for months. This is because It had gained its foothold on me. It wasn't going to leave and be over without a fight. A war.. a holy war where the mind is the battlefield... To be continued...
Your voices have not stopped? And do you believe in telepathy, god, magic, how do you explain their existence?
