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My social anxiety makes me seem rude

G

George10111

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2017
Messages
388
I have a really hard time talking in person. I get offended by sarcastic tones. When someone starts talking to me I freeze and don’t know how to answer without mumbling and sounding like I’m drunk.

I can talk but I can’t ‘talk’. I don’t know how to ‘fit the standards’ in social settings. I feel like people just rip me apart when they see me, just the vibes I get. I get nervous and panicky when I have to pass a crowd or anyone really. Because of my tathered clothes, body odor I can’t help but feel like they’re just ripping me limb from limb. I don’t know how to speak ‘the language’ that’s socially acceptable. I’ve developed a stuttering problem. I slur my words because I’ve always had a weakensss. I feel like I’m too weird and ‘creepy’ to be loved. I’m the ‘creepy uncle’ in the family. The only one the kids aren’t willing to hug. The adults drown me out with awkward small talk. Today I finally just said, oh the same thing as last time. The same boring thing you wouldn’t understand. I was just frustrated and didn’t want to be there, the only person making small talk in the room while 23 angry family members listen to my voice. People just ‘go through the motions’ with me in the everybody s a winner aspect and have no interest when I reach out for help of show genuine interested in any given subject. When I’m not around I get talked badly about. Like I’m some kind of inferior awkward black sheep of the family and community.
 
mom j

mom j

Active member
Joined
May 4, 2020
Messages
26
Location
usa
It's sad that the people around you treat you differently. Maybe you are different, but they should embrace it. As family and friends we have a duty to be involved and put some effort into knowing about others - especially when they are a bit different!
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,968
I can understand and relate to what you have written here :) Thing is your written communication aint half bad ;) Reminds me very much like myself :) If these group gatherings are causing you stress etc. try removing yourself from them in the short term... Use this time to re-build your confidence, and learn effective communication. You will come back a much better and stronger person for it. I would love to spend a bit of time chatting with you if that is okay with you :)
 
P

PerpetuallyStuck

Guest
When someone starts talking to me I freeze

I don’t know how to ‘fit the standards’ in social settings. I feel like people just rip me apart when they see me, just the vibes I get.


I get nervous and panicky when I have to pass a crowd or anyone really.

I don’t know how to speak ‘the language’ that’s socially acceptable.

I was just frustrated and didn’t want to be there. People just ‘go through the motions’ with me in the everybody s a winner aspect and have no interest when I reach out for help of show genuine interested in any given subject.
I've struggled with this. It's usually when I don't expect someone to say something to me, or if I am not sure what they are about to talk about. Usually when it is someone I've just met is the toughest.

There are definitely people out there that are very judgemental. Even if they also suffer, people can be very dismissive and territorial. I don't understand how some people can be welcoming and friendly, and yet others are guarded and mistrusting. I don't change the way I act, it is just other people's perceptions vary wildly.

It is tough when a crowd of people pass by, because it is likely someone will notice you in some way, whether it is positive or negative, it isn't nice getting judged when you want to keep yourself to yourself and are minding your own business.

People seem to form an opinion of me and stick with it. It can be difficult to have to convince people of my worth. Some people accept me straight away, which is great, but I've had a lot of dismissive behaviour from people in my life...too much.

Life is really frustrating. Others get praised a lot and have things going for them. Why don't I get any chances? Why do people not understand or care about me?

At least you aren't alone. It isn't much consolation but you have my sympathy.
 
TheSea

TheSea

Member
Joined
Jul 16, 2019
Messages
22
Location
England
I feel like I could have wrote a lot of that.

Before lockdown I had started challenging myself to be more social. The odd smile and hello to someone on the school run, small talk at a kids party and the likes.

We can let it define us or we can try to do something about it.

I don't think I will ever be socially normal but I also don't think the issue is fully with others either.
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
885
I have a really hard time talking in person. I get offended by sarcastic tones. When someone starts talking to me I freeze and don’t know how to answer without mumbling and sounding like I’m drunk.

I can talk but I can’t ‘talk’. I don’t know how to ‘fit the standards’ in social settings. I feel like people just rip me apart when they see me, just the vibes I get. I get nervous and panicky when I have to pass a crowd or anyone really. Because of my tathered clothes, body odor I can’t help but feel like they’re just ripping me limb from limb. I don’t know how to speak ‘the language’ that’s socially acceptable. I’ve developed a stuttering problem. I slur my words because I’ve always had a weakensss. I feel like I’m too weird and ‘creepy’ to be loved. I’m the ‘creepy uncle’ in the family. The only one the kids aren’t willing to hug. The adults drown me out with awkward small talk. Today I finally just said, oh the same thing as last time. The same boring thing you wouldn’t understand. I was just frustrated and didn’t want to be there, the only person making small talk in the room while 23 angry family members listen to my voice. People just ‘go through the motions’ with me in the everybody s a winner aspect and have no interest when I reach out for help of show genuine interested in any given subject. When I’m not around I get talked badly about. Like I’m some kind of inferior awkward black sheep of the family and community.
i know how tough social anxiety is......i dont exactly like mixing with the in laws.
 
G

George10111

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2017
Messages
388
Hey everyone thanks much for your loving encouragement. Really needed it today. If anyone wants to message me personally please do so. It sounds like a lot of people here get what I’m going through which makes me feel less alone. I constantly feel like something is about to go horribly wrong, losing someone, or having something happen I just always have that feeling, like living in my own personal horror movie.
 
P

PerpetuallyStuck

Guest
If anyone wants to message me personally please do so.
I've seen people say that, I've stated that myself. The only private messages I've been part of have just been brief, one off sort of things so far. I don't have a clue what to say. We need to find people we can get to know and get along with. It's impossible to know who that person/people would be. From past experience, it can come from unlikely places. There was a forum user on another site that hardly posted publicly, but was regularly in private messaging with a select few people. I commented on on of their posts and was positive, they were thankful for it, and it carried on from there. It's nice when you don't have to think about something and it just works out, hassle free.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,968
The good thing about this forum, is you can check back on a user's forum posts. You can generally get a feel of who that person is by reading through their history of posts. If they haven't posted much I would proceed with great caution... Hope this helps :)
 
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