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My SO wants to leave me and I'm struggling to come to terms with it

A

alcoholic

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Joined
Feb 10, 2015
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So over a period of time I've been drinking in secret. A lot actually.
I have depression and anxiety, which is"controlled" with medication. My partner has clearly told me that the condition he stays is if I don't drink. Well last night be discovered how big this issue is for me and packed his things and moved out today. He also took my engagement ring which just kills me. He is still talking to me but in the back of my mind is so he can have an easy break up. I couldn't bare getting out of bed today and don't know how I can go to work tomorrow. This is so shit, I have really fucked up my life
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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He is doing the tough love approach with you imo, which works for some people not everyone. One person might be inspired to get help, for someone else it could drive them deeper to drink. But maybe he is also saying he cannot cope with being in a relationship with someone who is drinking.

I am sorry he has left you, this must be very difficult for you especially as when you are in the grip of addiction it is so hard to stop and often other people simply do not realise and act like all you need to do is just stop doing what you are doing.

But there is hope, he is still talking to you, maybe if you can show him you are taking steps to get into recovery he may change his mind. IMO it needs to come from you though that you need/want recovery for yourself, rather than just to hang onto this relationship. Then you have choices again.

I think addiction can be complicated by having additional MH issues, I have found this (I have an ED as well as depression and other things).

Have you thought about getting some help with your drinking? There is AA of course, it is not for everyone but helps some people,, or there is SMART recovery, or you could approach your GP about getting referred to Drug and Alcohol Services. Some people do well with CBT as well. If it is the depression and anxiety that is compounding the drinking maybe having some counselling to help with that would make things easier, if you feel better in yourself maybe you will be less likely to want to drink. I know I tend to use stuff when I am feeling very bad, because I do not know how to make myself feel better and it's very hard when nothing seems to help.

I know it is hard right now but there is a way out of the hole you currently find yourself in, there are people on here who have overcome addiction and will support you through this.

I get where you are coming from feeling you have messed up, too:hug: but you are in pain, please don't beat yourself up about it. x
 
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