• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

My situation

M

Melana

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Austria
Hello,

I am new here and have been struggling with some kind of social anxiety all my life. It seems to be somewhat atypical though: I do not think that I appear anxious to others and it would not be too bad if a random person on the street started talking to me, for example. But I cannot start conversations by myself and do not know many people. And I rarely manage to openly disagree with what others say, to appear different or say anything that could shock them, even if it has nothing to do with myself. For example, when my pet died, I did not tell it to some people I knew, and then was very scared of the ones who did know it telling them about it. I am a different person in front of everybody I talk to, and none of those persons is who I really am. I cannot talk about my interests or opinions and am feeling very bad because of it regularly, even though I am comparably calm right now. Telling someone that I maybe should seek professional help seems impossible currently. How can I do the things I want to do if I have to keep all of it to myself for some reason? Or how can I stop doing so? I guess this is something I mainly have to figure out for myself, but maybe there are people in a similiar situation. When I am on my own, my fears seem so absurd that I can hardly believe they are real, while they become the only real thing as soon as I have to communicate with others. I still remember what I wanted to do and know what would be reasonable to do then, but I am too weak to fulfill it and the only thing I can concentrate on is trying to make a decent impression on others.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
35,255
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi x
just wanted to welcome you to the forum and send big (((hugs)))
hope you like it here and find this place useful
love Lu xx
 
Lance__

Lance__

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
252
Location
Spain
Hi Melana, first of all welcome to the forum :welcome: I hope you can find this site safe enough for you to feel like you can talk about your feelings freely. People here is very kind and respectful.
Do you do journaling? It could help you expressing how you feel, and it can be really handy when seeing a therapist while having social anxiety or feeling very scared. When there was something very hard for me to tell in worlds, I used to write it in my journal and literally read it to my therapist.
Does it happen too with your family or a close friend? Or you can be yourself with them?
The way you describe your experience remind me to the fear of rejection I have, to be judged by others, it's like I don't want to disagree or say something out of place in front of others, and because of that many times I just decide to stay in silence and say nothing, which I know is not the best.
I strongly recommend seeing a therapist, he/she can help you to work through your fears and anxiety, and maybe learning some social skills.
I hope you will keep posting in the forum. It's a nice place to be, and at the bottom of the subforums you have a Chill Out Lounge and Member's Gallery forum if you want to have a break and talk about off-topic things or see some pictures or photos posted by other users.
I hope you can feel better soon
:grouphug:
 
M

Melana

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Austria
Thank you for responding! :thanks:
Going to a therapist seems hard because I at least had to tell my mum about it and it is difficult to talk about my problems to anyone, even my parents or my best friend. But I am writing down my thoughts and feelings on a daily basis for three years now and it can be helpful. Still, I am losing confidence when I am in a difficult situation.
 
Lance__

Lance__

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
252
Location
Spain
Thank you for responding! :thanks:
Going to a therapist seems hard because I at least had to tell my mum about it and it is difficult to talk about my problems to anyone, even my parents or my best friend. But I am writing down my thoughts and feelings on a daily basis for three years now and it can be helpful. Still, I am losing confidence when I am in a difficult situation.
It is good you are journaling. Are you at school or at the university? Sometimes depending on the country they offer counselling services for free for students, maybe you can use it without telling your parents.
 
M

Melana

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Austria
It is good you are journaling. Are you at school or at the university? Sometimes depending on the country they offer counselling services for free for students, maybe you can use it without telling your parents.
I finished school this year and will start going to university in autumn, and I can check if there is such a service.
 
Lance__

Lance__

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
252
Location
Spain
I finished school this year and will start going to university in autumn, and I can check if there is such a service.
I hope you can get a caring and an understanding therapist at the university next course, it can really make a difference. Good luck!
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
531
i have social anxiety too, just to let you know youre not alone....w.elcome to thr forums by theway
 
Top