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My significant other does not understand...

Sk_darling

Sk_darling

Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Graham North Carolina
Im new here but just gonna jump right in, in hopes someone can shed some light on how i can go about this.
My significant other does not understand the self harm, i know my coping is unhealthy but it is not who i am, but how i deal with emotions and its not a regular habit. she has only now realized for i have kept it well hidden. i had a bad night i mean bad.... and it was time to let her know i struggle and i didn't want her to believe it was her fault. its no-ones fault its my personal demon. anyway trying to talk about it only made her furious she lashed out and told me i was just looking for attention...and we all know how that just cuts deep.... i hide this from her because i was afraid of that very reaction. how do i communicate to her this this a real thing not a cry for attention. how do i help her understand that i don't need criticism but understanding and support. I don't wanna say exactly shes a little narrow minded but its hard for me to get her mind wrapped around its a coping mechanism for emotions its a release and a way to calm myself from really jumping the edge..... HELP im struggling....
 
Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
1,250
Location
North Carolina
Its is a coping skill but not a positive or acceptable one to most people and no one who loves you is honestly going to support you hurting yourself.

A good way to explain it is tell her your history with it and tell her youve had to hide because its not for attention and its how you deal with your emotions. Hopefully she can give you love and support you need to move past this and find other coping skills.

Good luck !
 
Sk_darling

Sk_darling

Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Graham North Carolina
i was almost to my year mark of not self harming, like i said not a habit however i slip. when i go into a dark place its the first thought and it like snaps me back to reality, quick. Of course followed by guilt. im just having a hard time explaining to her that this is not just something i did for her to feel guilty... she believes it was done on purpose for sympathy. if i could have hide it, i would have. just trying to find the write words to say to her.
 
Sk_darling

Sk_darling

Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Graham North Carolina
also just wanted to add i don't need support for the self harming but she dismisses all possibility that im struggling with anything. so therefor im not able to talk about it and possibly find another solution. i was thinking maybe print out some reading for her ? im just afraid of back lash. like i said its been a year and she never had a clue about it in the first place now im just feeling guilty and stupid.
 
Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
1,250
Location
North Carolina
If she is dismissing your emotions and struggle thats a whole different issue. If she wont acknowledge your mental health then you need to possibly reconsider relationship. You need to be around supportive people.
 
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