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My Pure O story and am I the only one?

J

JFraley8

New member
Joined
Nov 1, 2021
Messages
1
Location
Maryland
Hello all,

I'm new here. I searched for OCD forums because I have a type of Pure O that I cannot find anything about by googling. I'm hoping to find somebody here that I can relate to.

I don't have specific themes of intrusive thoughts about sexuality, or harm, etc. My OCD manifests itself by attaching itself to everyday thoughts. It could be something I think, something I hear, something I say -- and whatever that thing is, something about it doesn't sit right with my brain. It's usually something my brain gets confused about for just a second. But instead of figuring out the thought really quickly, or just moving on, something clicks in my brain and I immediately go into the viscous cycle of compulsively trying to "understand" and "connect the dots" of my thought. Sometimes I'll have a simple logic-based thought, and until I analyze every single part of the thought over and over until it feels "just right," I cannot shake the obsession.

I'm not worried that something bad will happen if I do not perform these mental compulsions, but more so that if I don't figure out my thought, I will be miserable and it will never go away. I have a super "sticky" brain and if I don't get through the compulsion of understanding exactly how I thought it, why it makes sense or doesn't make sense, etc., I will continually feel that something isn't right. I have the perform the thought pattern / rumination until everything feels "just right." Even then the obsession sometimes comes right back, rearing its ugly head again telling me that I don't fully understand the thought and that I need to go through my whole compulsion ritual again. It's draining me.

Like I said, I can't find anything on the internet about this and am beginning to think I am the only one. Please, if anyone is out there that can relate, please let me know. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
 
S

Salster

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2021
Messages
78
Location
Yorkshire
I'm sorry I wish I could help, I have cpstd.

There are a lot of good folk here though. I'm sure you'll find someone who's has a little more understanding of your condition.

WELCOME though 👋 from us all.
 
S

SadRainbow

Former member
Joined
Aug 5, 2021
Messages
2,657
Location
Norfolk
I've had bouts of what I believe was Pure O in the past. I know it can be utter hell to be trapped in your thoughts. I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time.
 
B

BlueWater

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 29, 2021
Messages
883
Location
Earth
You're not alone. I think this way a lot.
 
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