My pregnant dughter

[Worried Mum]

Can anyone please help me, my 20yr old daughter has severe depression and has taken 4 overdoses, she is now pregnant and her boyfriend has been sleeping around and has also been violent, one day she wants the baby the next she wants to get rid, she is 9 weeks pregnant and not coping at all. She know says that if she keeps the baby it will give her something to do, can anyone please offer any advice.

 

[bubbling under]

Ok, firstly, welcome!

I'm sorry this is going to be very brief as I need to go and get my babies up.

A few questions for you to answer for me so I can help you better

Firsty is she or has she been under mh care or is this a recent development?

Has she made her pregnancy official, in that I mean has she been seen by her gp and midwife yet? If the answer to that is no then you need to speak to her and get her seen asap. Depression in pregnancy is called perinatal depression and she should be cared for by a specialist team of midwives, if this has been something she has had before her pregnancy, then again the same applies. She needs lots of understanding and a kind listening ear. Make her feel safe, and wanted, but do not, and I know how hard this is, force or try and influence any decisions on her regarding the pregnancy.

I'm sorry I can't stay and talk with you for longer about this, but I'll come back on tonight and see if I can help you further.

Give her lots of hugs, try not to crowd her though

 

[Worried Mum]

Thank you so much for replying. She is now under the adult team of mh but waiting for an appt, she has been to the G.P abt pregnancy and is waiting midwife appt (14th Dec), our G.P has tried to explain that it is going to be very difficult indeed for her but she is using the pregnancy as a tool to play with her boyfriend. I have tried so hard to be there for her but she is driving me nuts as she is so unstable.

 

[iffybob]

Hard

I can ubderstand why you are worried....

Your dughter is 20 years old, in law she decides if she is going to keep the child.
There is nothing you can do about that.

She is planning to use the pregnacy to be used as a tool in her current relationship. This 'I' dont like, but I also dont see how you can stop her.

I do think you need better advice than many here could give, you could try and talk to MIND , explain your situation to then and tell them you need advice... they may have to get back to you as this is a sensitive situation.

If she does OD or is excesive with drugs or alchohol, there is a good chance that she will miscarry, or worse damage the unborn child, this is good cause for concern.

Sorry I dont have good help for you. As I said talk to MIND, if they cannot help they may know people who can...

Take care ... boB.......