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My poor boyfriend........

pinkprincess

pinkprincess

Well-known member
Joined
May 3, 2010
Messages
85
Location
East Yorkshire
I am starting to really feel for my boyfriend. He has been really supportive about my depression and helped me realise what was going on but I keep panicking (sp?) that he is going to leave even though he does everything to assure me. I can't stop myself verbally lashing out at him and then I feel awful afterwards, I really don't know what's going on.
I keep trying to control everything around me and change my mind from one moment to the next. I feel like he deserves better and that I am not the girl he met- this is not what he signed up for.
There is no-one else I really discuss how I am feeling with as my Mum is under a lot of pressure at the minute as my younger brother has just been diagnosed with epilepsy. My sister is dealing with her own problems. I have one friend that knows but I feel too ashamed of my inability to "deal" with it. No-one at work knows although the im on medication excuse for not drinking is starting to wear thin as I cannot drink with my meds (Citroplan??)
Feel like I am putting too much pressure on him, still waiting for dates fro counselling!
 
Astrid

Astrid

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 24, 2010
Messages
75
Location
USA
I think you should just try to be as honest as possible with your boyfriend about how you are feeling so he knows if you are acting in an uncharacteristic way that it is not because of him. Communication is the most important thing.
 
B

Blondie

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
396
Location
Lancashire
Your boyfriend is STILL with you so obviously loves you very much.He probably feels upset he cannot help you enough, so try to reassure him he is being great and very supportive.If you feel your going to verbally attack him either leave the room or stop and think of something really nice he has done for you,may work!Hang in there pinkprincess:)
 
pinkprincess

pinkprincess

Well-known member
Joined
May 3, 2010
Messages
85
Location
East Yorkshire
Thanks Blondie. Just having 5 minutes before he gets in from work. Had a crap day at work and under a lot of pressure at the min! Hardly slept over the last few nights! :O(
 
M

maudikie

Guest
maudikie.

Have you told him of your condition. I think he ought to know, and if he thinks a lot of you will be supportive. You could give him something to read about it, then he would uderstand better.:)
 
pinkprincess

pinkprincess

Well-known member
Joined
May 3, 2010
Messages
85
Location
East Yorkshire
Hiya,
Yep he was with me through the process so he is really supportive and understanding I just feel really sorry for him as I do not feel like myself (or at least how I use to be when we first met) I am looking for something to read myself on dealing with depression but not a medical book more someone's struggle and steps they took etc!
x
 
B

Blondie

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
396
Location
Lancashire
One night when he gets home from work,surprise him!!.Turn off the tv,light the candles and get out the massage oil:love:Remind each other how special you are to each other!!!!!!!!!
 
pinkprincess

pinkprincess

Well-known member
Joined
May 3, 2010
Messages
85
Location
East Yorkshire
Thanks Blondie, easier said than done but need to make an effort. We are going out tonight really don't feel like it but going to force myself to get dressed up and go. I always get like that before we go to any kind of social gathering! :unsure:
 
T

TrampLegs

New member
Joined
Jan 20, 2010
Messages
2
I am in your boyfriends situation... I am coping with my partner who is struggling with depression.

I hope my advice and my thoughts can help you...

We have had major ups and downs, my boyfriend has been a real nightmare at times, and many times I've said I would leave. But when I think rationally I know that I love him and would do anything for him, and I won't let this illness defeat him, and defeat us!

The way I see it, is that we are a team. I organise all his doctors appointments and now we finally have a psychatrist :) Since he's has had his appointment with the Psychiatrist, he is so much more positive, and both of us can finally see the end!! Maybe this is what you should do? It's taking a massive step forward, and I think you'll benefit emotionally from doing this and get a real sense of achievement.

As long as you are trying to battle this, he can't complain.

My issue with my partner was the fact that he wasn't trying to get better, and finally, after months of stress and heart ache he's decided that he never wants to loose me so is really making the effort.

He asked me to marry him at the weekend. I said for him to ask me again in a couple of months, after he's attended appointments etc. That will give him incentive to keep on the meds, and keep on track :) He seemed very happy with this.

Basically, its all about taking steps forward. However, you have nothing to feel guilty about! Lashing out, etc, is just part of the situation and I'm sure (as hard as it is for him to accept) he understands the underlying issues :)

We know more than you think we do. xx
 
pinkprincess

pinkprincess

Well-known member
Joined
May 3, 2010
Messages
85
Location
East Yorkshire
I am in your boyfriends situation... I am coping with my partner who is struggling with depression.

I hope my advice and my thoughts can help you...

We have had major ups and downs, my boyfriend has been a real nightmare at times, and many times I've said I would leave. But when I think rationally I know that I love him and would do anything for him, and I won't let this illness defeat him, and defeat us!

The way I see it, is that we are a team. I organise all his doctors appointments and now we finally have a psychatrist :) Since he's has had his appointment with the Psychiatrist, he is so much more positive, and both of us can finally see the end!! Maybe this is what you should do? It's taking a massive step forward, and I think you'll benefit emotionally from doing this and get a real sense of achievement.

As long as you are trying to battle this, he can't complain.

My issue with my partner was the fact that he wasn't trying to get better, and finally, after months of stress and heart ache he's decided that he never wants to loose me so is really making the effort.

He asked me to marry him at the weekend. I said for him to ask me again in a couple of months, after he's attended appointments etc. That will give him incentive to keep on the meds, and keep on track :) He seemed very happy with this.

Basically, its all about taking steps forward. However, you have nothing to feel guilty about! Lashing out, etc, is just part of the situation and I'm sure (as hard as it is for him to accept) he understands the underlying issues :)

We know more than you think we do. xx
Thansk for your support and glad to hear that there is light at the end of your tunnel x
 
pinkprincess

pinkprincess

Well-known member
Joined
May 3, 2010
Messages
85
Location
East Yorkshire
Hi,
He knows me inside out and he is very supportive and fab. I know I am lucky!xx
 
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