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My partner is getting more and more depressed and I don't know how to help exactly

K

Kelhillcrest134

New member
Joined
Jun 27, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Netherlands
Hello, my name is Kel and I have been with my partner now for 3.5 years.

Apologies this is a long one so thank you if you have the time to read this!!


My life has changed completely since we began seeing each other, I fell madly in love with him in college and he was the most amazing and loving man who was in return madly in love with me. In the past year we decided our home wasn't giving us enough happiness and we moved to a new country to have some fun and enjoy ourselves while we are still young (24).

So in the past few months, his job fell through as he was being bullied which made everything worse and he was so unhappy everyday but I tried to keep him busy and listen to how he was feeling. He quit the job suddenly and in the past few weeks he has gotten a new job which is not as much responsibility but the people there are nice but it doesn't seem to help much with his mindset.

I read books and seek advise from people as I have always suffered with slight anxiety but as my partner has deteriorated, my mental health is at its worst and I find myself worrying about everything and hating myself more and more when I fail to help my partner. I know it's not my responsibility to fix things but I really miss my partner and his energetic, happy and unique personality which seems to have gotten lost somewhere.
I have asked him to try take up a hobby, try stop smoking weed as much (he has smoked everyday since about the age of 12! 12 years in total) and try a sport or anything that might make him happy but he doesn't seem to be trying although he says he is.

I would never give up on him I love him so much and I could never lose him.

Recently he has blurted out in arguments or when he is down that he would be better off committing suicide as he thinks it would help everyone out and I am terrified of anything happening him although I'm not sure if he just says it when he is feeling down.

My partners mother suffers massively with depression and does not take her medication as she does not like how she feels on them, which I completely disagree with but it means my partner feels as though doctors and medication is useless and he refuses to even consider the option.

I have noticed he is not always down, as soon as the smallest inconvenience happens (e.g. he drops something silly) he automatically thinks he cannot do anything and is completely useless and it is the most difficult thing to try get him out of that hole.


I don't know what else to do as my mental state is becoming worse and I cannot afford to see a therapist to talk through my issues, he is more important right now so I want to help him out first and I think we could have our old relationship and happy life again.

Any advise or comments would be grately appreciated and again, sorry for the lengthy post!!

Thanks ❤️❤️❤️
 
stability

stability

Active member
Joined
Jul 12, 2017
Messages
41
listen Kel,I know what you're going through reading this sentence==**recently he has blurted out in arguments or when he is down that he would be better off committing suicide as he thinks it would help everyone out and I am terrified of anything happening him although I'm not sure if he just says it when he is feeling down... i say...try to get to him in the real relationship way==you DO LOVE each other,Kel,so there should not be a problem....sit down and talk very deeply about issues...it helps...very often a relationship which seems to go down the drain...is just a simple misunderstanding...keep insisting that he's your only outcome for a total love in your life...
oh..and we seem to speak the same language==Dutch(ahah)leuk...of eng??
 
N

natalie

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 1, 2014
Messages
19,098
I would suggest an appointment is made through his General Practioner GP Doctor, and if they can't, help, they should be able to make a referral to a pshychartrist, who will be able to write up the right type of medication for him.
 
R

Rocky105

Member
Joined
Dec 25, 2021
Messages
18
Location
Australia
@Kelhillcrest134 you have areas deal of love and and care for your partner and want stick by him no matter what which I admire there is nothing better than that strong love just briefly I am wheelchair bound and have family members do most things for me and can not walk its not easy but I manage to cope I learn to do this by knowing there are people out there worse off its not easy the situations we are in but having a strong love tell your partner how much you love him no matter what disagreements etc and that no matter what you will always be there
 

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